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RussWarf
8 Posts |
 Posted - 03/12/2012 : 11:21:31
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Hey guys - I've posted on here before, and I've been absolutely convinced now of my symptoms (primarily neck/back pain, and RSI like symptoms in hands/arms) being explained by TMS.
After taking about four months off work, being unable to sit at a desk and type for any duration, I'm returning to a desk job tomorrow, and I can feel my symptoms creeping up in intensity in response.
I'm not going to be intimidated by my unconscious any longer - but obviously that doesn't make the pain any less real, on a practical level. Does anyone have any hints or advice about coping mechanisms for returning to the activity with which they associate the beginnings of their symptoms (for me, work), and being able to just get on the with it? |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2012 : 19:44:49
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Hey Russ,
I think you may be surprised at how you react now that you have this knowledge under your belt. In many ways, once our brains know we're calling the bluff... they seem to give up or move on.
That said, I would just try to relax my attitude to it as much as possible and don't be set-back if pain comes. In fact, welcome it as PROOF that it is psych and not physical. Smile, keep working... keep going about your business and invite the pain to stay. Loosen up and get comfortable with it. Show your pain that there is no amount of harm that's going to make you quit doing what you want to do.
But, try to do that without tensing yourself too it. (Float, as Claire Weekes says.)
Easier said than done, right? But, we can do it. I'm approaching my one year mark since I've taken a sick day! Not bad for a guy with massive anxiety, TMS and 10 months into a god-awful, extended reaction to a small amount of Xanax I was on for a while.
So, I'm not better yet... but life has gone on... and I'm slowly finding new baselines that are better than the prior.
Sounds so cliche', but so much of this is attitude. I swear to god.
It's hard to believe the difference thinking can make. It really is.
Good luck. Keep us updated.
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RussWarf
8 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2012 : 05:24:15
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Thanks for that - and, yes, I agree. Whilst it's obviously a bad thing that my symptoms have flared up in response to the knowledge that I'm returning to one of the sources of stress which contributed to the TMS in the first place, it's just as much a good thing as it validates my conviction about my understanding of what causes the symptoms and, hence, I can address it accordingly.
Tomorrow will be my first day (was supposed to be today, but circumstances at the office changed) - I'll report back! |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 03/13/2012 : 09:32:32
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| I will not fear. I will face my fear, let it pass over me and through me. And when the fear has gone only I will remain. Dune -Frank Herbert |
Edited by - Stryder on 03/13/2012 09:34:28 |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 03/15/2012 : 17:03:23
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Tell us about your first day.
Take care, -Stryder |
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RussWarf
8 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2012 : 11:58:55
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Stryder -
Thanks for the interest! I will tell you about it, but sadly it's been deferred again, until Monday, owing to the continued illness of my employer. I will report back though! I really appreciate the support. |
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RussWarf
8 Posts |
Posted - 03/19/2012 : 12:56:15
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Hey everyone - just a quick update about my first day back as promised.
So, I spent most of today at a desk/computer (all un-ergonomic etc.) and felt pretty good! Some bad periods of intensity between my shoulderblades and in my lower back, and some weird shooting pains and mild numbness in my hands, but nothing dreadful at all.
I think that not telling my boss (the only other person in the office) about the symptoms or the period of inactivity I took is going to really help invalidating the symptoms, stop me talking about them, and stop me brooding over them and knowing I can use them as a crutch if my brain wants me too. (I have suspected my TMS originated from feelings of inadequacy/self-induced pressure not to fail in the past - eg. Oh, I didn't achieve x, y and z at work this month, because I haven't been able to go in atall owing to health reasons completely out of my control).
I'm feeling really positive after my first day. Like I said, no miracles - in a bit of pain now and loads of scrunching and clicking in my neck and shoulders, feet going to sleep, wrists hurting etc. but it's an encouraging start all the same!
Continuing advice and support still most welcomed! |
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RussWarf
8 Posts |
Posted - 03/20/2012 : 11:28:24
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Second day: incredibly worse.
In a LOT of pain in my neck, shoulders and back as I write this - along with intermittent symptoms throughout the day of burning in my arms and tingling in my face. Very discouraging.
What really gets me is that - when I'm like this - my body makes a hell of a lot of NOISE. Like, clicking and scrunching when I move my neck and back which certainly isn't there (at the very least, to this degree) when I'm feeling good. Can anyone give president to this? TMS causing a hell of a lot of noise - like stuff mushing about and joints popping?
I'm trying not to let the fear in, but it's so so difficult. |
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ennio
28 Posts |
Posted - 03/20/2012 : 11:47:38
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Russ, remind yourself you are being brave by taking the desk job, that you are willing to fight this. Sarno has said that fear is the hardest thing to overcome with TMS, especially when you are having pain symptoms, so you are not alone.
He has also said that when you begin to resume activities you were afraid to do previously, your brain may begin to really amp up the pain symptoms to get you to focus on the body. Try as best you can not to give in to the pain, as hard as that sounds. When pain is intense, this can be very challenging. But keep working at it, and don't give in.
Tell your brain you're not going to put up with this any longer, then ignore the pain as best you can. |
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lynnl
USA
109 Posts |
Posted - 03/20/2012 : 12:07:04
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The attitude I took was one of "well hell, if it's gonna hurt anyway, paying attention to it sure doesn't do any good. ...might as well focus my attention elsewhere!" I found that helped.
Lynn |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 03/22/2012 : 16:00:58
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I spotted some grafitti today that read...
"On The Other Side of Fear Is Freedom"
TMS uses fear as its favorite ally, they team up together as a distraciton. You fear the pain, and the fear tries to keep you in place and prevent your transition to freedom.
I agree with Lynn and ennio, you can transcend your fear and pay no mind to the pain and go about your day. This is a challenge, we have all been there too. It hard, but you can do it ! Try not to fight mentally against the pain, that just adds to the pool of rage. If you cannot ignore the pain, then accept it and let it flow through you and out like a stream of water. It will take a while for your mind to unlearn this habit of reacting to TMS. There is no time table of when or how long as it is different for everybody.
Take care,
-Stryder
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RussWarf
8 Posts |
Posted - 03/22/2012 : 16:20:57
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Can't thank you guys enough for the responses and the support.
I've finished four full days now (only taking tomorrow off to go flat hunting in London, which is in itself a big finger up to TMS as that's where the symptoms began).
They've been unpleasant in many ways, but certainly bearable. Quite intense pain in the late afternoons, flowing into my early evenings (which makes me grumpy around my family, which I resent) but I feel good again during the evening and in the mornings.
Despite the quite intense aches and shooting pains and burning/cramping/tingling sensations in my arms, I really do feel like I'm genuinely learning to curb my fear (compared to the level of anxiety I experienced trying to work a desk job with the symptoms six months ago, for example), particularly in regard to fearing that, by carrying out the activity, my symptoms would get worse, irreversibly so.
The one vestige of doubt I still harbour is the NOISE my body makes - serious, serious clicking in my neck and spine with movement (even such subtle movement as breathing in) when the pain gets bad/I've been doing the 'bad' activities like typing. Does anyone have experience of TMS causing such noise, and such a real sense of shifting and clicking around in the joints? That's such a hurdle to overcome in convincing myself *utterly* that this isnt physical.
Thanks again so much - this is such a great resource.
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lynnl
USA
109 Posts |
Posted - 03/23/2012 : 07:01:08
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quote:
Originally posted by RussWarf
The one vestige of doubt I still harbour is the NOISE my body makes - serious, serious clicking in my neck and spine with movement (even such subtle movement as breathing in) when the pain gets bad/I've been doing the 'bad' activities like typing. Does anyone have experience of TMS causing such noise, and such a real sense of shifting and clicking around in the joints? That's such a hurdle to overcome in convincing myself *utterly* that this isnt physical.
Thanks again so much - this is such a great resource.
Perhaps you're describing much more pronounced joint clicking and sounds than I'm familiar with, but my joints have always, from time to time, made some clicks and pops. Though nothing of a regular basis.
But the very term TMS denotes tension, which could only be expected to result in tension in the muscles and connective tissue, as well as the capillary system. Other than to the extent of causing pain, I would view the noises as insignificant. I would guess, if ignored and trivialized they would go away, or at least diminish.
(added) I just reread your comments and the word "scrunching." Yes, I do experience that in my neck at times. I'd characterize it as pretty minor, and I don't recall that it's ever attended by any particular pain. So I don't pay much attention to it.
Lynn |
Edited by - lynnl on 03/23/2012 07:04:59 |
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Returning to work - advice/strategy
