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Suz
559 Posts |
 Posted - 06/24/2004 : 12:12:18
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Hey everyone,
I have just started delving into my childhood/past via journalling and reading. I am reading a book called "the legacy of divorce" as I am a child of divorce. I ended up last night crying for about 2 hours which was really bizarre. I woke up this morning after very vivid dreams with terrible pain in my left hip/sciatic - the old pain again. I have not had the pain for 2 months since starting Sarno's work - just after reading his book and exercising again. I decided it must be due to the TMS trying hard to stop me from feeling my emotions - I got up and did my normal aggressive work out that I do now and the pain started to dissapate. I talked to my brain and put on a good pair of high heels for work just to show it who was boss!! It is 2:00 pm and I have no pain. I think it is unbelievable the way the mind works.
I am a little nervous about doing all this emotion work as don't want to be in pain again. I start my first therapy session on Saturday (with my own choice of therapist through my church) |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2004 : 13:36:03
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quote:
Originally posted by Suz
I am a little nervous about doing all this emotion work as don't want to be in pain again.
I'm not sure what you mean. Clearly the emotion work is helping to alleviate the pain.
It is true that you may get a temporary increase in symptoms when you start to feel negative emotions or you strike a chord in your journaling. This is a good thing. It means you are on to something.
It is important to take a long-term view. If you fear the emotional work just because it might cause some temporary pain, you're back at square one. |
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2004 : 14:23:04
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Thanks for advice, Dave. The difficulty is that my pain went away totally from reading the book and getting over fear of exercise. However I started delving in further, because I still have constipation and skin problems and acid reflux - TMS equivalents. I did not expect to get the hip/back pain back when doing the work. I would love to get rid of the other conditions.
Hopefully the pain will only be temporary and I managed to talk my brain out of it. |
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Carolyn
184 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2004 : 21:48:17
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Suz,
I can't remember if you have said how long you have been working to beat your TMS so I don't know how long your pain-free stage lasted. But I will tell you from my own experience and others who post here, that it is common for the pain to improve dramatically when you begin to accept the TMS diagnosis, only to come back at a later point. I think that your pain probably would have come back eventually whether or not you did the emotional work now. If you don't face your emotions now, you will just keep repressing them and will have to pay for it at some point. Your pain will probably continue to shift around for a while but I would think it is a very positive sign that you were able to cry for two hours. If you are able to access these feelings, you can get them out of your system and that is the only way to really beat TMS. I am still having recurring attacks of pain in various locations but they are now 'attacks' and not a constant state so that is progress. It is tough because we would all like a quick cure and for most of us it just doesn't seem to work that way. Just keep it up, you really seem like you are on the right track.
Carolyn |
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2004 : 02:14:06
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Hi Suz
I agree with Carolyn, when I first found out about TMS the improvement in my lower back was very dramatic. I drove my car for the first time in nine months the day I first read 'The Mindbody Prescription'. My life took a turn for the better that day. However, when I began to do the psychological work; like you, with the help of a therapist (a psychotherapist in my case), I had spells when the pain came back.
It's over a year now and I'm a different person to the one who was completely immersed in pain and misery. I'm returning to work part time when the new school term starts after retiring early because of my back pain.
I think the trick is to get to the point when you feel pain, you don't worry about it. When the fear goes spells of pain don't last long. I still get back pain sometimes, but it is far less severe and doesn't last long.
Good luck with your therapist on Saturday. Just a thought - does he/she believe that physical pain can be caused by emotional causes? Don't be afraid to change therapists if the one you are seeing is not helping. I don't mean to be negative here, but therapists vary a great deal. I had to search a fair bit until I found someone who really managed to help me.
Best wishes
from Anne |
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2004 : 12:18:17
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Dear Anne and Carolyn,
Thank you so much for your info and advice. I discovered Dr.Sarno about 2 months ago - read the book and was totally out of pain for about 6 weeks until I had one attack (brought on by old thinking) -that lasted 2 days and then went away. I have really started to think about my past and delve into some stuff. Consequently, I have had a little hip pain - horrible dull aching just like it used to all the time. I am talking to it every time it comes up and it does go quite quickly. I also am ignoring it and exercising anyway. But I have only just begun the process of the work. How long have you guys been doing the work for? Do you exercise? Since exercising ( I have not exercised for 5 years and I have had the pain for 12 years)I have been feeling physically so much better. I sleep better and have more energy. I have also this week been experiencing some anxiety/over emotional - is that normal with doing the work? I will have my first session with the therapist tomorrow. If she doesn't understand TMS, I will find someonelse.
suz |
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2004 : 15:52:39
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When you consider that you have been in pain for twelve years, probably have gone through diagnoses, tests, treatments etc etc and nothing worked until you made the connection between the pain and your emotions, it is likely that the way you think will need a fair bit of work. That was my experience anyway. Don't put pressure on yourself, Suz, you know now that things are improving for you, let it take as long as it takes. Frustrating, I know, and when the pain went away for you, it is difficult when it returns, not to get disheartened. But try to concentrate on how far you have come already. Much further than you probably thought possible a year or two ago.
I had back pain which became increasingly severe to the point that I had given up work and was sinking further and further into depression over five years. Nothing significant was found to be wrong with me and treatments - some I did on my doctor's advice, others were my own ideas - just made me more frustrated. My life was becoming more and more restricted.
It came to the point where I began to make the link between emotions and my pain myself and I began to trawl the net for information on emotional causes of physical pain. I got links to sites which outlined Dr Sarno's work, bought 'The Mindbody Prescription', and bingo - I found a detailed and rational explanation of what I was suffering from.
My initial recovery was remarkable. I couldn't believe how much better my back was. I resumed some activities immediately and other gradually. Life became much more worthwhile.
However, a mindset (goodism, always worrying about what might have been and what awful things might happen in the future) that has been in place for much of my life takes a lot of work and some time to change. Not as long as I thought it would, though. I have come a very long way in a year. That's how long I have been doing the emotional work. Like so many others of us here, when I get close to something that has been long supressed, the pain recurs. It's also painful emotionally to come face to face with feelings that have been supressed because they are hard to deal with.
Everyone is different and the emotional work will have to be right for them. There is no blueprint, we need to tailor our own treatment. For what it's worth, Suz - what I did was, first of all I found a good psychotherapist. As I said, that was not easy. I had telephone conversations with practically every therapist in my city until I found someone who was happy to work with me using TMS as a basis. She hadn't heard of Dr Sarno, but read MBP before we began our sessions. One drawback; she was expensive. Unearthing hidden negative emotions took time and was emotionally exhausting. The pain in my back returned during the first few sessions but as I became more comfortable with myself this eased. She helped me to 'live mindfully ' - in the present - something I had never been able to do before. I can't tell you how great it is to be able to enjoy things as they are happening. I had never been able to do that before.
I began to meditate - just simple meditation techniques. There are lots of good writers on the subject. It's just a case of finding a simple technique and sticking with it until it has an effect - it sort of just crept up on me - my breathing became 'right'. I became a much calmer person.
I read everything I could get my hands on about anxiety conditions. I had got myself into a real pain - anxiety - more pain spiral. Some people just stick to Dr Sarno's books and that works fine for them. I needed a wider base because I knew that I needed to work on the anxiety as well as the pain.
I learned just to tackle this problem day by day - not to put any pressure on myself. I knew that I had cracked the main obstacle to recovery - the knowledge that my pain, though very real, was caused by negative emotions, and that recovery would take as long as it would take.
I journalled for a while, just writing down anything that came into my head. I found that reading what I had written a day or two later often gave me clues to what I was supressing. I don't journal any more - it began to irritate me. I have made sustained progress and don't feel I need to anymore.
I started reading and posting on this site. It helps very much to converse with people who have had similar experiences to my own.
The one pressure I did put on myself, and on reflection I was right to do so. I made a promise to myself that I would not let back pain stop me doing anything I really wanted to do ever again.
My main exercise is walking - I try to walk three to five miles a day. I'm not fanatical about it, if the weather is awful, I give it a miss. I'm lucky because where I live is beautiful and there are lots of good walks. I usually take my binoculars (I'm a bit of a bird watcher), and enjoy my walks a lot.
Take care
from Anne
By the way - your wearing good high heels to work to show TMS who was boss made me laugh. I bought my first pair of high heels for years last month for a wedding - real classy, strappy sandals, in a pearlised cream colour. My back didn't hurt, buy boy, did they give me blisters on my heels!
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Carolyn
184 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2004 : 21:27:15
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Suz,
I discovered the TMS concept not quite 3 months ago and like you, within a week, I had become completely pain free for the first time in about 5 years. It really made me believe in TMS, but within another week or so, I started haviing pain again which was very depressing and made me doubt the TMS diagnosis (this board is an absolute lifesaver when you get to that point) but I could get rid of it by journaling for a few days. Since then it's been two steps forward- one step back. I also had several terrible attacks of anxiety after I started looking into my past (mine would strike me in the morning as soon as I woke up). I posted here about it and people assured me that anxiety is a TMS equivalent and it is common to have some while recovering. I haven't had this symptom for a while now. I do excercise regularly. I didn't for a while but had decided even before finding Sarno's work, that I was going to start excercising again- though I had chosen very back-friendly excercise - pilates and deep water aerobics. Now I am also walking and doing som elight aerobics again.
Anne,
Thanks for your post. It is reading stories like that that keep us newbies motivated. It is so easy to get frustrated and doubting when the one step back occurs. I thought it was interesting what you said about learning to be mindful. I think that is also a good deal of my problem- always worrying about what might have been and worrying about what might happen. When you become more in the present moment and start to pay attention to the thoughts that are going on in your head, it is eye opening. I found that my thougts were a mile a minute and very often they would just run away and create some horrific mental scenario from a pretty innocuous situation. I wasn't really even aware I did this until I started paying attention. If my pain became worse, at the first twinge, my brain would have me in a downward spiral with me ending up totally incapacitate and alone etc.. What I was doing was creating a lot of stress for no reason at all. Like I was a stress junkie and couldn't get enough from my real world problems so I would make up some more.
Carolyn |
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Sadiesue
19 Posts |
Posted - 06/26/2004 : 09:14:04
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| Thanks for the great post Anne! |
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Fox
USA
496 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2004 : 08:14:16
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| Carlolyn -- I can really relate to the stress junkie comment you made. |
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dominator22
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2007 : 08:48:54
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I had the same problem with journaling. Both times I've made journal entries, I had more pain, but in a different place than before. On Friday I had a terrible spasm that almost completely immobilized me. I wasn't doing anything physical, just sitting there. I suspect I was getting to the repressed emotions and my subconscious didn't like it.
I decided to get on with my life. I know it won't be easy. |
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Curiosity18
USA
141 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2007 : 10:42:21
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What a timely thread! After years of knowing about Sarno and applying the techniques(with the exception of journaling), I finally decided to begin journaling so that I could rid myself of the last 25% of my symptoms. I had planned this in advance and scheduled time for it. Several days before I actually started journaling my symptoms flared up quite severely. Two weeks into the journaling my symptoms persist, however I'm quite certain that the gremlin just doesn't want to give it up. I will persist with this however!
Anne and Carolyn- Thank you so much for your posts. They are always so inspiring to me!
Suz- congratulations on tackling these very painful issues. I know that you can conquer this. Good luck with the new therapist.
Curiosity |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2007 : 10:55:32
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Suz,
I am happy for you that you were able to reach those deeper feelings..I struggle with doing that..I know you are on the right track..:) Keep in mind what Dave said, that the temporary increase in pain is a good thing!
Anne,
Wow! What a wonderful post! I enjoyed every word and could relate! Thank you for being so honest! You have truly inspired me!
Hugs to you both,
Karen |
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pain after journaling
