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walnut864
94 Posts |
 Posted - 01/12/2012 : 13:33:53
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Im getting my a** handed to me by symptom substitution. In my previous post I talked about how I was having gastrointestinal problems in dec, that quickly changed into tension headaches and now the headaches have given up and I a am having extreme fatigue, fasciculations (muscle twitches) achy knees, achy ankles, aching muscles and left lower back pain. I am also having some muscle spasms.
This type of fatigue is interfering with my work and the twitches are making it impossible to sleep.
My boss was chatting with me at work today and I was telling her all that was going on. She said she understood b/c she has Lupus. So she sympathized with my pain.
I was telling her of symptoms that I have had and we share alot of the same symptoms. Even Raynauds phenomenom. I told her I hadnt got raynauds in quite awhile and when I do it doesnt last very long.
I SWEAR to you an hour later I had symptoms of Raynauds between my thumb and index on both hands. You could she the redness and the itching and slightly swelling. She was amazed that I had just said I havent had raynauds in a long time and then all of a sudden there it is!
Im currently reading my old posts to find some assurance that this will pass. Its been a week now and has gotten worse. I do not believe these symptoms to be anything severe. I would safely say that if I had to name it, it would be BFS Benign fasciculation syndrome. Which I feel is TMS.
My original fight with twitching came when I was new to tms and had just had great success with dr schubiners program.
Well, here goes another chapter!
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2012 : 14:31:35
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You are what you think all day long.
You think sickness you will stay sick. You think healthy you will get well.
Try to focus on the goods in your life. Ignore the bads, forget about the "self". Don't fear your symptoms. Heaven or hell is right in our mind. How we get there depend on our choice of thought. |
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walnut864
94 Posts |
Posted - 01/15/2012 : 22:03:00
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well the past few days the twitching has backed off alot. thats a relief. still some lower back pain, the back pain really feels like a tight tight muscle. my knee joints still ache some and i have some achy legs, my job requires standing 9 hours a day without getting to sit very much. we dont take 15 minute breaks and we only sit down when we eat. so some leg aching would be expected.
ive been kinda laughing at my twitches and just telling myself that i enjoy the twitches.
my energy levels are increasing day by day which is great.
just wanted to stop in and give an update. |
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walnut864
94 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2012 : 21:40:06
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i spoke too soon. last night i played a video game for a couple of hours before going to bed. while laying in bed it felt as if the bed was vibrating. then i realized it was a bunch of muscles in my legs randomly firing off and twitching. i woke in the morning with some bicep twitches and by the time i got to work i started having twitches on the left side of my nose and it has been happening randomly on my nose for 9 or ten hours now. oh well maybe it will go away soon.
i started thinking maybe its the video game causing all this. right before my first post i had been playing modern warfare 3 an hour or more everyday for a few weeks.
it wouldnt be too far fetched for me to think the game could do this since strobe lights in a club have caused me to have derealization. and theres a cafe in town that has a floor that is made of 1 inch by 1 inch squared tile that are white and black. that floor makes me dizzy and disoriented. im gonna cut the gaming out for awhile and see what happens. |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2012 : 23:22:24
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This is where the whole thing is to SMELL A RAT!! Symptom substitution is a rat! How can any of this be "real" when it moves around (like a rat slinking around a container ship - just saw "Contraband" movie, great for externalizing anxiety!).
The body is miraculous. The extraordinary powers it has to manifest symptoms show that it is a miracle instrument. Like someone who is Christian manifesting the stigmata on their hands, we TMSers manifest all kinds of crucifixion-type effects. Why? Who cares. I think we just have to keep walking on into the sunrise of health, while the twitches and pains and fasculation or whateverTF else screams on the sidelines trying to get our attention.
I have ventured back into the world of dentistry, having emergency root canal last night. I noticed that my body wanted to start its TMJ pain nonsense, but I've already had enough of that. Stop that ****, body! No way. We're not going there. Use your powers to walk on water or something.
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2012 : 15:36:42
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Walt,
Yeah, I'm in symptom sub land, myself. Anxiety is getting better slowly, and I'm working out a bit more. So, my brain is trying everything it can think of. I can literally feel the pain moving around my body. Now today, intrusive thoughts. Had a bout of this about a month ago. It's starting again. But, hoping I can rid myself of it more quickly this time. I never had obsessive intrusive thoughts early on, really. (Outside of symptom fear.) So, now I'm doing research about techniques to accept and live with them so they go away.
Wavy,
Definitely a rat... and your comment is interesting. I've wondered how we might be able to make a plea to our brain to turn this incredible power it has into positive, productive actions. Worth considering.
_____________________________
-1/2010 - Developed chronic sinus problems. ENTs/Docs can't find anything
-5/29/2010 - Doc gives cocktail of allergy meds which induces first ever panic attack/anxiety.
-7/16/2010 - Anxiety stays/worsens - put on Xanax
2/1/2011 - Began Xanax taper - Withdrawal starts - full body chaos
-6/11/2011 - Last dose of Xanax. Physical/emotional chaos continues for several months.
-Now: Taking it day by day, looking for real answers and ways to heal myself without medical poison. |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2012 : 23:21:13
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Bryan, When you wrote "make a plea to the body" what comes up for me is that we need to command the body.
Some people call it yelling at the body.
I was just watching a preacher talking about the bit where Jesus talks about how with faith you can move mountains. (btw I'm not Christian, but very interested in Christ, who basically said "pick up your bed and walk" to dozens of people and they got it - the Super-Sarno?)
The preacher said, "Instead of talking to God about your illness, how about talking to your illness about God." In other words, what he was more or less saying is that you have this incredible inner power, and when you align with it you can tell obstacles to move out of the way (instead of complaining to the power about the obstacles).
I've found the incredible power within myself is most simply described as the "I am" consciousness. The "I am" before I add anything else to the sentence. The awareness which then identifies with all kinds of stuff, and in our case, on this forum, identifies with being overwhelmed by symptoms that worry us.
A really, really powerful teacher about this I AM consciousness is Mooji. He has dozens of free videos on YouTube and also on mooji.org. Highly recommended.
Well, there's my 2 or more cents - less secular than usual! xxx to all
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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Talk about symptom substitution! Wow!
