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kenny V
USA
268 Posts |
 Posted - 02/02/2005 : 23:47:47
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Everyone’s life is driven by something. Most dictionaries define the verb drive as “to guide, to control, or to direct.
What is the driving force in your life?
Right now you may be driven by a problem, a pressure or a deadline. You may be driven by a painful memory, a haunting fear or an unconscious belief. There are hundreds of circumstances, values and emotions that can drive your life. Here are the five most commons ones.
Many people are driven by guilt.
They spend their entire lives running from regrets and hiding their shame. Guilt driven people are manipulated by memories. They allow their past to control their future. They unconsciously punish themselves by sabotaging their own success.
Many people are driven by resentment and anger.
They hold on to hurts and never get over them. Instead of releasing their pain through forgiveness, they rehearse it over and over in their mind. Some resentment-driven people “clam up’ and internalize their anger, while others “blow up” and explode it on to others. Both are unhealthy and will hold YOU prisoner in a viscous cycle, until dealt with properly.
This was a big one for me and was one of the major contributors in breaking my pain cycle.
But it is still work in progress for many other areas in my life and requires daily maintenance.
In my older posts I used to call it cleaning out my closet or making peace with my past.
Many people are driven by fear.
Their fears may be a result of a traumatic experience, an unrealistic expectation, growing up in a high-control home, or even a genetic predisposition. Regardless of the cause, fear-driven people often miss great opportunities because they are afraid to venture out. Instead they play it safe, avoiding risks and tying to maintain the status quo. Fear is self -imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what you were created to be and finding your purpose in life.
Many people are driven by materialism.
Their desire to acquire becomes the whole goal of tier lives. This drive to always want more is based on misconceptions that having more will make me happy, more important, and more secure, but all these ideas are untrue. Possessions only provide temporary happiness. Because things don’t change we eventually become bored with them, and want newer, bigger, better versions. It is also a myth that, if I get more I will be more important.
Self- worth and net- worth are not the same. Your value is not determined by your valuables. Remember the most valuable things in life are not things.
Many people are driven by the need for approval.
They allow the expectations of parents, spouses, children, teachers, or friends control their lives. Many adults are still trying to earn approval of unpleasable parents. Others are driven by peer pressure, always worried what others might think. Unfortunately, those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it
I don’t know all the keys to success, but one key to failure is to try to please everyone. Being controlled by the opinions of others is a guaranteed way to distract you from looking deep within your own self and finding out what is your real purpose in life is.
Allot of these exerts were paraphrased from the book “purpose driven life” that I read a year ago, about the same time I was introduced to Dr Sarno’s work. This mindset led me to start my journal work and also an Anger work book. These were all contributors of how I finally broke the pain cycle that I was imprisoned with for over 20 years.
Just passing it along.
Kenny V
Always Hope For Recovery
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2005 : 03:00:57
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Thanks for that, Kenny. Changing what drives us can be a key to overcoming the mind-set on which TMS thrives. I also treated my TMS in two ways - in my case by reading and researching anxiety conditions as well as doing the psychological work that Dr Sarno suggests.
It's good to hear that you are doing well.
Best wishes
Anne |
Edited by - n/a on 02/03/2005 03:02:00 |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2005 : 08:27:45
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A resounding THANK YOU, Kenny!!!!
I'm going to print this post and look at it every day. I'm also going to get the book you mentioned.
Wow! Thanks!
Laura
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kenny V
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2005 : 14:09:51
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Thanks Ladies, I really didn’t think anyone reads what I write anymore.
One thing I can say, in a way I am grateful, about this experience, not to Have TMS, but in what it has taught me along the journey.
I was a very angry man that was continually in pain and this cycle needed to be broken.
If taken seriously this TMS stuff really forces us to look deep within ourselves and make some major changes of our current pattern of thinking that controls our lives.
And once we realize what holds us captive and really what makes us tick, we start to see ourselves and the world around us in a different perspective.
So it is kind of a wake up call to those who gratefully recognize it.
If we are honest with ourselves and submit to it being a challenge instead as an obstacle or a fight, perhaps a fresh meaning will come out of it.
I have just realized that many of our great strength’s can also be our weaknesses, and get us in trouble when applied the wrong way.
These along with unbalanced emotions cause us much internal pain and grief.
Something to think about?
So now I see my residual TMS symptoms as an emotional thermometer in the life I live, and I realize that I must learn to except all the seasons that come along with the environment that I live in.
Always Hope For Recovery
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Edited by - kenny V on 02/08/2005 14:13:21 |
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What drives your life?
