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Wodg
Australia
89 Posts |
 Posted - 11/18/2011 : 20:06:32
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Anyone here decided to just give up on life?
The continual TMS attacks just too strong so you give up healing yourself or doing the things you want/should do.For example
-Give up on goals
-Being TMS free
-career
-partners
-Forget about your body/mind/you
Just get up and move without any of this, What would happen? |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2011 : 20:58:40
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What exactly are you asking?
And why?
Why would I want to give up healing my mind and my body when I know that anxiety and stress has gotten me here before it got me to something more serious, like a heart attack or cancer?
Why would you?
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
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Bugbear
United Kingdom
152 Posts |
Posted - 11/20/2011 : 14:43:56
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| Wodg, I too don't know how to react to this. Are you talking about running away from it all or doing yourself in? If its the latter, seek help immediately. If its the former, I visualise myself running away frequently and always have done. Yet something compels me to stick around... |
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Kyle M.
24 Posts |
Posted - 11/20/2011 : 19:40:02
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I think I get what you're talking about, and I think I do fall into this category, at least for the time being, anyway.
As I've said in other topics, my biggest thing for the past ten (going on eleven now soon) months is tinnitus, ear pain, and resulting phonophobia. As such, I haven't left my house for anything other than doctors appointments and two other times to get my hair cut. That's it, though. I haven't gone out to eat, to the movies, out with friends (though I have had some over), or any other social activities outside of my house, because I'm afraid of what noises I may encounter whenever I leave this (relatively) controlled environment of mine. It's probably important to note that all of the above activities are things that I previously did with weekly regularity.
Additionally, I watch about 90% of TV now with closed captioning, as for anything other than the news, I'm afraid of some sort of sudden spike in volume (a raised voice in a sitcom; a blown whistle in a sport; or a loud explosion in an action film or series). It's just not worth the grief for me at the moment to risk watching TV with the sound turned up.
Every night before I go to sleep I try to tell myself that tomorrow will be different, but so far it never is. I know I can't live this way, nor do have any hopes of succeeding in a career or finding a partner, either, but even knowing these facts, it's just extremely difficult to get over the fear of my symptoms getting worse. I miss listening to music, too, but the fear of overindulging somehow, or wondering if I listened to a song too loudly after already having listened to it has prevented me from listening to any songs for around ten months, as well.
So, yeah, it sucks, and I think I understand what you're saying. You're not talking about suicide (at least, I hope you're not), but merely saying that you've given up on leading a "normal" life, so to speak. I know for me, the normal aspirations of other men, like having a career, wife, family, house, and yard seem like impossible goals for me to ever achieve now. |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 11/21/2011 : 08:49:54
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For a very long time I had given up. I quit participating in my life .
My feeling was that I would never get better so I slept ,hardly ate and looked for every excuse to Not go out.
I never considered killing myself, but thought if I died that would be fine with me
On Octover 4th I went for a mamography. It came back with suspicious findings and for the next 2 months I had many more tests ,biopsys. .mri,s and sonograms. Last Tuesday i had surgery double lumpectomy. And lymph node removal.
During this frightening and tedious prossess i came to the conclusion that it would not be ok if I died. I really wanted to live and that I would do anything I could do to stay alive.
Don,t give up . Take your life back. Your brain will catchup when you get back to life. Put the sound back on. Take small steps at first. It may take longer than you want it to.
One day at a time.
Marsha |
Edited by - marsha on 11/21/2011 12:02:35 |
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Bugbear
United Kingdom
152 Posts |
Posted - 11/22/2011 : 10:51:44
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Thanks for sharing this, Marsha. It's a chilling reminder to live and enjoy life to the full rather than wasting so much time fretting, worrying or panicking. I wish you well during your recovery and excellent health thereafter to assist you in getting your own life back.  |
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kesh2
United Kingdom
32 Posts |
Posted - 11/22/2011 : 11:34:20
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I think I understand Wodg.
Sometimes I get tired of holding myself up all the time. Fed up of telling myself what I'm meant to tell myself: that the pain is TMS. Fed up of doing the things I'm meant to do to help my mind. Fed up of the whole damn thing going around my head all the time.
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Edited by - kesh2 on 11/22/2011 11:35:15 |
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Wodg
Australia
89 Posts |
Posted - 11/23/2011 : 13:19:56
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quote:
Originally posted by kesh2
I think I understand Wodg.
Sometimes I get tired of holding myself up all the time. Fed up of telling myself what I'm meant to tell myself: that the pain is TMS. Fed up of doing the things I'm meant to do to help my mind. Fed up of the whole damn thing going around my head all the time.
Yes, this is what I mean't. Just give up. Give in to the pain and anxiety and putting on the show that everything is fine and dandy. |
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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
Posted - 11/24/2011 : 11:30:24
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I think having an attitude of giving up, sagging towards the anxiety and pain, saying "okay then, do your worst" is a very good idea. That's very different to giving up on life.
So I think the right attitude is: Deep breath, exhale slowly - SAG towards the symptoms, whatever they might be: "Okay fear/pain/anxiety, I'm just going to let you be there for as long as you want while I gently just get on with my life doing what I want to do WITH YOU THERE. I am not going to fight you or run away from you, because you are a bluff, you are not serious at all, in fact you are really a bit of a joke."
You drop your guard, you drop your shoulders, you move internally towards whatever is happening inside you. You let go of the tension, you welcome the symptoms, you stop resisting what is happening. You accept it and you demonstrate that it is a bluff by gently continuing with your life. Because it is not serious - not serious at all.
This I think is the way to total recovery. |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 11/24/2011 : 18:19:18
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Yah - not serious!
Having said which, I am feeling sorry for myself on this Thanksgiving as I spent the day lying on the couch - couldn't move to go join my friends in their fun. Mind you, I'm an expat Brit, so Thanksgiving isn't the great symbolic mother's tit that it may be for others, but still, after 40 years, it's at least a bottle.
I have been wondering what the point is. Pain is one thing, but this damn chronic fatigue (i.e. fatigue that is chronic, in cycles, like now) is not possible to "push through." Unless you've experienced it you can know.
So yes, Wodg, I feel like letting go and it's not all the positive "sagging into the resisted feelings" kind of letting go. It's more of a "f*ckit!"
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2011 : 06:35:57
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Words of wisdom, Marsha. I had a cancer scare recently and my experience was similar. I tried to tell myself that I've lived 60 years now, and have had on balance a good life, and that if I died tomorrow I can't kick. All that's true enough, but truer still was my hunger to keep living.
Hang in there wavy. UNderstand that you've earned your stripes and that you're a person of much courage. You've a great deal to give, and much life to live yet. States of mind are funny things in that they trick us into thinking they're permanent. Feel better soon :-) |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2011 : 17:33:54
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Art,
Thank you,
Marsha |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2011 : 22:56:58
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Ahhhh.. thanks Art!
And I do feel better today. and I'm having a huge party tomorrow. Anyone want to come?
When the tiger eats you (as Jung said) you really don't know that the tiger has eaten you and this TMS tiger can be very convincing.
I'm assuming that "HAD a cancer scare" means that all is well?
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2011 : 11:11:03
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Very glad to hear, oh wavy one. :-) A party! Just what the doctor might have ordered. Tell us how it went?
And yes, the cancer situation seems to have resolved. Suspicious groin lump is down to half the size it was when I found it, and the persistent sore throat is gone entirely.
Speaking of that sore throat, it had been bothering me for months. Now kids, I don't recommend you try this at home. Sore throats can be serious. But in my usual negligent fashion I kept ignoring it. Until I found the lump that is. At that point I went to the doctor convinced I had cancer. She took one look down my throat and pronounced it fine.
The amazing part is the next day the sore throat had vanished. Completely It's simply too much of a coincidence to suppose it wasn't psychosomatic. The power of the mind continues to amaze me. In fact, now that I think of it, I was aware the throat was no longer hurting on the way home from the doctor. In other words, the very instant the fear went away, so did the symptom.
Hah! |
Edited by - art on 11/27/2011 11:16:31 |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2011 : 21:20:02
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quote:
Originally posted by Wodg
Anyone here decided to just give up on life?
many times
quote:
Originally posted by Wodg
The continual TMS attacks just too strong so you give up healing yourself or doing the things you want/should do.For example
-Give up on goals
-Being TMS free
-career
-partners
-Forget about your body/mind/you
Just get up and move without any of this, What would happen?
You'd be pain free in 5 months. |
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Aussie
Australia
87 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2011 : 21:42:25
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So Skizzik do you mean not obsessing or putting too much effort into TMS would speed things along?? What would you do different if you knew then what you know now?
Im so new to this but can already feel extra stress and anxiety im placing on curing my back pain...I haven't done anything but read 2 of Sarno's books and im already scared of failure!
I have read your story Skizzik and was very impressed, I can really see some of myself in your posts. Reading them then your eventual success is a big motivator for me. |
Edited by - Aussie on 11/28/2011 01:37:49 |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2011 : 01:51:34
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My party was bliiiiss,!
About 30 peeps and magic and singing and I told a joke and the vibe was great and the food divine...
I feel less lonely sitting herewith my cat. I am a very good party thrower and they always have a field of love. Not a symptom in sight!
There were some hunky younger guys whom I didn't flirt with but...
Aarrgh! When god when?
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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Wodg
Australia
89 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2011 : 16:26:37
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quote:
Originally posted by skizzik
quote:
Originally posted by Wodg
Anyone here decided to just give up on life?
many times
quote:
Originally posted by Wodg
The continual TMS attacks just too strong so you give up healing yourself or doing the things you want/should do.For example
-Give up on goals
-Being TMS free
-career
-partners
-Forget about your body/mind/you
Just get up and move without any of this, What would happen?
You'd be pain free in 5 months.
This is what I'm doing. My TMS is so bad that any sort of fighting/effort makes me worse. I just got up did some weights and went for a dip in the ocean and now off to work. I plan to work my arse off today but not to cure my ills but for no goal other than to move.
Just move for no reward, no reason, no cure. I've tried to cure myself for 10 years. |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2011 : 17:40:36
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One thing I have noticed is that trying to cure myself is the worst thing I can do.....because it keeps me focused on the "problem" and what you resist.....persists. I now focus on my emotions and what I'm feeling. I allow everything.....even the resistance and the wanting to get better...then I release it (Sedona method) the results are showing.
I'm not taking sleeping tablets and pain killers every night.....plus my body has much less tension in it. I'm about 80-90% healed! Your body is just talking to you Wodg, it's letting you know that the way you're currently living isn't really the best for you. Giving up on healing is the best thing you can do....just don't me resigned about it. Do it from a space of non-attachment to the result and just focus on the emotions.
D |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 11/29/2011 : 04:40:45
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quote:
Originally posted by Aussie
So Skizzik do you mean not obsessing or putting too much effort into TMS would speed things along??
I would say that obsessing and too much effort would slow things down recovery wise. I would let go of the "speedy recovery" and take a deep breath. Recovery is a "hindsight" thing. You realize you're not in pain like you used to be. You can't plan that realization. It will happen. Building a strict religion to the eventual relief backfires.
quote:
Originally posted by Aussie
What would you do different if you knew then what you know now?
Im so new to this but can already feel extra stress and anxiety im placing on curing my back pain...I haven't done anything but read 2 of Sarno's books and im already scared of failure!
I have read your story Skizzik and was very impressed, I can really see some of myself in your posts. Reading them then your eventual success is a big motivator for me.
If I knew I was going to recover and had confidence, I would'nt have chased recovery people down so much and take up their time. I was so desperate.
When I journaled, I think it would have been wise to throw it away everyday. The stress of someone finding my notebooks was not needed. I felt better when I burned them all. I would say when life sneaks up on you, schedule a time in your mind when you can chill and write it all out for perspective since the mind is a tool that focuses on bad outcomes so it can be prepared for the worst.
Funny thing is, you begin to think about all the things you were gonna write, and by the time you sit down, you realize you've figured things out. I was OCD on writing, and I guess that part of it I would've changed. In fact, it's what I do now, now that you made me think of it.  |
Edited by - skizzik on 11/29/2011 04:41:33 |
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Decided to give up on life
