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Eket
Netherlands
11 Posts |
 Posted - 02/02/2005 : 02:27:46
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I had figured this would happen at some point... i have succesfully managed to keep it away for about 7 or 8 months now i think. But lately i've been feeling the same pain return, pain in my hands that is.
I expected it would return again... now i could use some advice on what my best options are now?
I've pretty much oncovered what happened in my past, and learned to come to terms with it... so it must have been recent till now events. I will list these here. (Perhaps this will also help me)
A: School started again (My senior year)
B: in relevance to A, i'll be visiting a school next week where i have to show my entry exam, and all that. So i'm hoping i get in
C: A major one... my mom has cancer again for a while now actually... (shes been a cancer patient for 5 years or so now.) in any case she's been getting chemotherapy again, and it failed .... she had to start over once more, and so far so good. But it's quite stressful
D: I'm overal still not happy with myself, i've put on weight, and i hardly feel like doing anything (It's not lazyness cause i can do the work... but i just often dun feel like it.. feel lifeless or sumthing ¬_¬)
E: Stressful relation with a girl i know... she's been playing games with me -_- i know she's been through a lot and i want to help her... but i feel she's using me to make herself feel better
F: because of the last time i had this pain i wasn't able to do certain tasks at school last year, and i have to do them now
G: Feel alone more often these days...
H: i feel useless in almost everything i do, got no self confidence in myself and i hate it
i think this is about it for now...
so any advice would be welcomed. Do note i have been able to fend of the pain with doing the exercises(but it comes back, so i feel i'm not in perfect control as i was before =/), but i think i better re-read the book again. |
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2005 : 14:31:24
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Eket, you say that you have expected the pain to return and it has (I'm assuming that you have talked to a doctor about the pain in your hands and that nothing bad was found). This sounds like the kind of conditioning that many of us who post here experience or have experienced in the past. It takes time to de-condition the way your mind works - to break that link between the expectation that pain will happen and it actually happening.
You are going through situations right now that are very stressful and distressing. Your mother's illness is not QUITE stressful. It's got to be VERY stressful and worrying for you. When someone that close to you is seriously ill you will be putting on a strong face for their sake and supressing your own feelings of fear. Going through what you are, would be hard for nearly everyone and as you have had TMS symptoms before, it's not surprising that the pain has returned.
Is there anyone that you can consult about how you are feeling? The Netherlands has the reputation of having good health services - can your doctor help you find someone, a psychologist for example, that could help you with this difficult time? Good therapists can be a great deal of help - my one was.
Take care of yourself
Anne |
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I can feel it coming back....
