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Joy_I_Am
United Kingdom
138 Posts |
 Posted - 09/14/2011 : 03:44:01
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Here's a thought - I used to drink a lot when I was younger, but in my forties, that has naturally dropped. I drink mostly at weekends now, and usually stop at half a bottle of wine with food.
But after a holiday hangover, I checked out a 'quit drinking' site. And this site said that the main thing to look out for was not the liver, but the pancreas - you start getting terrible upper left abdo pain, and you're begging for meds or death, etc etc. Guess what? After every night with a drink, I started waking up in the night with left abdo pain that wouldn't respond to painkillers...
So I went through a phase of quitting for six weeks or so, then falling off the wagon, and the pain kicking in, and starting the whole cycle again... I asked the doc to check my amylase levels, all fine. Didn't believe it (the net says pancreatitis is hard to diagnose, it gets missed by incompetent doctors... starting to sound familiar?!)
So I suddenly realised that I should Sarnoize this! It's already starting to help. Another factor is that I'm worrying a little about how much my husband drinks, so I'm probably projecting big time. And when I go through my old diaries, looking for a pattern to the pain, what I notice is a hell of a lot of self-recrimination, and how terrible I am, and how I'm going to start living a whole new life in every way from now on...
And it sounds like an excuse, but the occasional drink does help with my TMS symptoms - my gut always moves nicely after a drink, I look more relaxed the next day. I would rather take my glass of wine now and then than anti-depressants all the time (I've tried them and they don't fit well with me, though I know they have worked for others).
The more I practise TMS, the more I realise it all has to be about balance. My whole life I've been an all-or-nothing perfectionist, and it's no way to live. It's such a waste of energy to be worrying about our health all the time!
Have a great day, all. Joy |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 09/14/2011 : 12:55:41
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I enjoyed reading this. Nothing wrong with a little wine every day. Some studies say it's positively healthy. We can all identify I'm sure with the exact symptoms kicking in after scaring yourself on Google. If you don't mind my saying so, the real problem here seems to be your ongoing health anxiety. I've found that only get worse with age It's important to begin to get a handle on it. Otherwise, you'll be living this whole experience over an over again, like a bad play you can't escape. Same plot, same set design, same cast only with different names.
By the way, if you're worried about your husband's drinking it's likely a real issue. For both of you. I've lots of experience in this realm, from both sides of the fence. |
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caligirl
22 Posts |
Posted - 09/14/2011 : 13:19:43
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Joy I Am...I saw alot of myself in your post. I grew up in a verbally abusive household and have lots of issues with my self worth. I am told by my therapist that tons of people would love to have my life and I am beautiful, etc. Problem is...I don't believe it.
I also worry about my husband's drinking. He uses alchohol to destress and it definitely has affected our relationship. Especially when he has also used pain killers and hid a lot of things from me in the past. So I totally get the worry thing. I think he is always hiding something from me.
Perfectionism is like putting yourself in a straight jacket, because you will never be perfect in your eyes no matter what you do. Learning to love ourselves and our imperfections would be a wonderful place to be..would it not? |
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golden_girl
United Kingdom
128 Posts |
Posted - 09/14/2011 : 15:24:58
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Alcohol has always been a "thing" in my life: my father's attitude after drinking, arguments in my life especially with boyfriends, my boyfriend's dad died of alcohol-related disease... yeah. But I do drink, too much, although less than I used to.
But what I was reminded of here, was when going through a horrendous time with my boyfriend two years ago, I drank A LOT. And often I used to get what I assumed were, and "jokingly" referred to as, 'kidney pains' (they were mid to lower back). I did a bit of Googling, a bit of scare-mongering, I compared similar pains with someone who I believe is a fellow TMS-er, and drinker... and then I realised the other day my 'kidney' pains have not appeared for about 6 months. My boyfriend, who has heard about TMS from me obviously, but he has an old football ("soccer") wrist injury that flares up when he's out of work, is now Googling 'strange head rushes after alcohol' and thinks it "might" be diabetes...
Well. I think the major thing is obviously, too much alcohol is a bad thing. So it's easy to make TMS-symptoms "real" because of alcohol - after all, it could well be real illness from a toxic substance. But TMS, sneaky as it is, always seems to make 'unwellness' from a 'potentially bad thing' - ie, back pain from sitting too long, foot pain from running too far... Or, I believe TMS isn't that sneaky. I think it's more likely: wake up and realise you're drinking too much/have a problem with alcohol/are dealing with your stress with booze/have a history with alcoholism... so do something about it!
Oh dear, this is a bit cloudy - I have had a few beers already!
Joy - I hope you're doing well! I don't think the occasional drink will kill you, not even TMS will, but yes, projection and stress can be big deals. Look after yourself, and enjoy your couple of glasses of vino 
"F.E.A.R.
Forgive Everyone And Remember
For Everything A Reason"
Ian Brown |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 09/14/2011 : 15:39:50
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quote:
But after a holiday hangover, I checked out a 'quit drinking' site. And this site said that the main thing to look out for was not the liver, but the pancreas - you start getting terrible upper left abdo pain, and you're begging for meds or death, etc etc. Guess what? After every night with a drink, I started waking up in the night with left abdo pain that wouldn't respond to painkillers...
...
Didn't believe it (the net says pancreatitis is hard to diagnose, it gets missed by incompetent doctors... starting to sound familiar?!)
Left upper ab pain is a quite common anxiety reaction. Remember, all the ab muscles are connected the back muscles, and those muscles are connected to the brain muscle  . And the brain muscle effects the back muscles, ala, Sarno and others.
Seriously, docs will tell you eventually that you have costchondritis or fibromialgia, but no cause has ever been found for either.
Nothing wrong with a little wine -- nectar of the gods, etc.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
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Joy_I_Am
United Kingdom
138 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2011 : 06:02:41
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Art, I don't mind you saying so; you're absolutely right and I know it!  And it's been since childhood. I was seeded with the idea that life is unsafe, that anything I did was probably wrong, and that I was incompetent to cope with anything. I learnt to be on my guard for the next manufactured blow-up from my parents. And now I think this is what I'm doing with my body - it's almost like, if there's not something wrong, there's something wrong! 'If I'm feeling okay, I must be missing something...' But I'm describing me at my worst here - my aim is always and ever now to catch those daft feelings before they go too far. Without Dr Sarno's work, it wouldn't even have occurred to me to challenge this (I love that man!)
I even think I do it to my flat sometimes! I don't like my flat, it was my husband's decision to buy it against my wishes; so now I'm alert to every clank and possible drip or leak... TMS House!
Back2-It, you're right, I came across 'costochondritis' many times when googling those symptoms! I can understand that drinking too much does, yes, have the potential to damage one's body (and golden girl, I accept that it's good to be aware of it); but why would your body just decide to inflame your ribs for months on end? It has no purpose! Why would the body do that? I was also 'diagnosed' with fibromyalgia years ago - phooey!
And Callgirl, I hear you - when people say 'you're beautiful' or 'you're talented', I'm actually angry with them, I can't believe it, they must be lying... I now realise my father hated/feared women, and any manifestation of femininity sent him into a rage. It's taken me years to come to terms with the fact that I'm a girl, and not a bad-looking one, and in fact, a very girlie-girl in a traditional way - soft-natured and sensitive, artistic, curvy, caring. And that these aren't weaknesses but good points!!! Who knew?! To try and please my father, I was fighting my essential self.
For me, a lot of TMS comes down to the French idea of being 'well in your skin' ('biens dans ta peau'). Liking yourself is a good step down the path to feeling well. At some level, when we are feeling an insult to our essential, authentic selves, our bodies speak out. And at last, with Sarno, we can learn to listen to ourselves instead of stuffing these things down.
((((Sarno)))))! |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2011 : 06:52:51
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quote:
Originally posted by Joy_I_Am
Back2-It, you're right, I came across 'costochondritis' many times when googling those symptoms! I can understand that drinking too much does, yes, have the potential to damage one's body (and golden girl, I accept that it's good to be aware of it); but why would your body just decide to inflame your ribs for months on end? It has no purpose! Why would the body do that? I was also 'diagnosed' with fibromyalgia years ago - phooey!
Why do ribs get inflamed? It's probably that back muscles get so tight mid-back and it effects the nerves and intercoastal muscles. Then bracing and guarding starts unconsciously and the process continues and gets worse until it's understood what's what.
I was at one time so twisted from this "disease" that my entire torso was torqued, according to a massage therapist and my entire abdomen burned and hurt and ached. It hurt to stand, walk and sit. Sleeping at night would gradually relieve the symptoms, then they would start again upon getting up. I am gradually winding down from it all, but it has taken months and months and months. I was further led astray by being told that I had a thoracic disc herniation causing it all. That sapped 1.5 years out of my life.
You seem to be going the right direction, and I wouldn't fret too much about drinking, as it can add yet another obsessive thought and stress to it all.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
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golden_girl
United Kingdom
128 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2011 : 20:04:53
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On my 21st birthday, my boyfriend finally dumped me after years of ups and downs. On my 22nd, I had a panic attack and cystitis, and I've had the "IC" TMS ever since. I turned 29 this year. For two weeks before and after my 29th birthday, I had chest pains. I never see a doctor for ANYTHING - which I don't advise - but I immediately thought I was dying, and called my mum for reassurance (as ever). The pain diminished, but there it was. I found "costochondritis" (which is BENIGN!) on the internet (I dwelt a little too long on a blog of someone who had had it for many years...) but then, it went away.
I can almost bring it on by thinking about it. I can remember the fear stricken horror of the stabbing pain in my sternum, and I can also now realise I don't have it.
It's almost comical what lengths TMS can drive you to. I realise it can't be coincidence it's on my birthday. I recognise I feel I might THINK I'm "getting old[er]" - but it doesn't seem to help. I've often wanted to be that case study in the book whose husband/brother/friend died/fell ill/left them in the spring, so every spring there's a specific pain (check out Dr Dave's book for this) but even SEEING the pattern doesn't bring relief?!
"F.E.A.R.
Forgive Everyone And Remember
For Everything A Reason"
Ian Brown |
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Joy_I_Am
United Kingdom
138 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2012 : 04:33:45
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I didn't know whether to post this here or in my 'gastritis' thread, but I think the main thing is to get it down: I have been having a horrible flare the last couple of weeks, wracking (yet fluctuating) pain in the left side/ribs, plus IBS (spasms, pain)... and I KNOW it's damn TMS! I just know it! Because I am also going through a split with a toxic friend. It's a quite necessary split, part of my self-development, fine. But it still stresses me, because of course, I am having to be 'nasty' (aka set self-protective boundaries) with someone, and it's twisting me up!
I know this. But it still hurts like a b@st@rd. So I am posting it here to try and make it 'stick' with me. Hope you don't mind!
The other things is that, having tried PPIs and iron pills for a couple of months, my iron levels have gone from 11:2 to a mighty... 11:4! So I saw a locum doctor, who actually examined me (my usual GP doesn't) and said 'You know - I think it's musculo-skeletal. The iron isn't helping, it's not terribly low (should be 12), your records show that you've been at that sort of level for years... why not come off the pills, and just get some exercise and watch your posture?' I was thrilled with this, because to me, it confirmed TMS.
So it's infuriating to me that I can't just take this on board... I know it was reinforced when I drank a glass of wine recently and got the side pain, but this could have been because I was drinking in response to the stress... the wine wears off after a couple of hours, the stress comes back, and with it, the pain... hmm, theory...
Anyway, seeing my usual doc next week, and I want to get on top of this before I do, because I feel further tests will just wind me up and keep me in the 'sickness' mindset. So I say to thee now - it is TMS and I know it!
Bugger off, TMS!
Joy |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2012 : 13:15:51
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quote:
Originally posted by Joy_I_Am
... I have been having a horrible flare the last couple of weeks, wracking (yet fluctuating) pain in the left side/ribs...I am having to be 'nasty' (aka set self-protective boundaries) with someone, and it's twisting me up!...
Joy
"Twisting me up". Interesting choice of words. Been there; call me Mr. Torque.
It's "fight or flight", folding in and up for protection and withdrawal, a common anxiety reaction.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
Edited by - Back2-It on 03/16/2012 13:16:19 |
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Pancreas
