I haven't been on this forum for almost two years now, and at that time I was in a much different space than I am now. Reading through all the success stories gave me hope and encouragement to continue the work and I must say that's it's been quite a journey. I had no idea where the Sarno books and paths of recovery would take me, at the time I was completely focused on relief of the physical pain, but the pain itself was a vehicle for deeper unfolding of healing, self discovery, and transformation of my entire being and the world around me. The path only deepens and does not end, I still deal with pain and tension in my body, but it is much less of an issue than it ever was before and doesn't control my life the way it used to.
I already posted my history of debilitating pain and emotional distress,so I don't feel I need to go through all that again, plus it's an old story that i'm tired of telling. At the time I was obsessed with my symptoms and was on this forum several times a day reading posts and asking questions, my mind needed convincing that my issues weren't different from what sarno was talking about and that the pain wasn't physical. To begin the work of reprogramming and recovery we need that, but part of the work is also a letting go, where we decide that we're not going to allow the pain to distract us and be the sole focus of our lives, so for me I stopped visiting the forum as part of my recovery process. I understand it's frustrating to try to reprogram our minds to think differently, it takes time for things to really sink in and be accepted by our subconscious minds, it takes repetition and discipline. I made recordings of affirmations and listened to them throughout the day to help with the process.I also read and re-read the Sarno books as needed, but also picked up a book by John Kehoe about reprogramming the mind. This also led me to the discovery of our deeply conditioned belief systems that create our experience of our inner world and the world around us. Beliefs are the core of everything. I say this as a possibility to open to as anything someone says or writes about needs to be vividly experienced by the reciever themselves before it becomes true for them.
Where am I now? In the last two years I have done things I never thought my body would ever do again, things i haven't done since my teen years, and new activities I thought were impossible. I am now able to jog 6 miles, 30+ mile bike rides, 3 hour surf sessions, golf full rounds, I competed in my first surf contest in the fall of 09' and took 6th place, I backpacked with my surfboard for 3 months through central and south america, camp and sleep on the ground!!!!, returned fulltime to field work hiking with heavy equipment for miles up streams and rivers, kayaking and river rafting, daily yoga and meditation practice, planes, trains, and automobiles, everyday I move in any way I want to; no chiropractors, massage therapists, physical therapists, pain pills, ice, sports creams, heating pads, braces, posturepedics, etc. etc. And the best thing is I hardly think about pain. Like I said I'm still tight and sore each day in various areas of my body,but I don't focus on it. I understand it's source, and that's where I go. I breathe, I feel, I experience, I do whatever I can to go deeper and make contact with my body. That's one of the messages of the pain, that we are not in contact with what's going on inside us, alienated from our true authentic beings and all it's instinctual, psychic, emotional, creative drives seeking expression and flow out into the world. We live in a culture which encourages repression and denial of our human energies, which is why we have our work cutout for us as our own minds are extensions of that indoctrination. It is taboo to feel, it is socially unacceptable to be angry. In a way it's a path of self acceptance and revolution against that system of repression. The pain is an awakening.
For some it is good to get diagnosed by a TMS physician. For myself it gave me the confidence and assurance that I needed. I also sought counseling, right now I work with a somatic psychotherapist trained in bioenergetics and the works of Wilhelm Reich and it has been a critical tool for me. I practice yoga and meditation as a means to reunite with my alienated body and fully experience all the energies that are held there. I practice self expression through creative endeavors (for me writing and performing music) I saturate myself in philosophical and psychological literature where I draw upon relevant practices and ideas that pertain to this work. I see the principles of Sarno within many different realms of knowledge, and just as I myself do I encourage anyone to be pragmatic in these explorations, taking what works for you and artfully creating your own path and practice. The pain is telling you that life as it is, is not working anymore, that a major shift is needed. It is not easy, but neither is living in agony from your physical pain. This is a journey into discovering your true self, finding meaning and purpose in this world, and discovering and actualizing your hidden potentials as a human creature. I have opened myself up to things I feared and didn't think I would ever engage in, but when the pain is that bad you will try anything, so I have participated in a wide variety of practices and techniques and found them to work for me. Belief takes time but helpful to that process is to temporarily suspend disbelief and see where things can take you. alright, I wish you well on your path
surfa
surfa |
Recovery story
Posted - 08/01/2011 : 16:18:47
