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oneorbit
USA
11 Posts |
 Posted - 07/27/2011 : 18:51:45
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Well I think I am mad at my parents but I'm in my 30's and moved far away from them a long time ago. My dad was a quiet alcoholic never hurt anyone but also never taught me anything or really showed any appreciation towards me. He's been sober now for years and we love each other and I appreciate him supporting the family growing up and being a hard worker but I feel I missed out on a role model. My mom raised us kids and she was extremely volatile and yelled and controlled us kids. I was the youngest of 3 and witnessed lots of fighting, screaming and crying. My mom would hit me when I talked back and if I didn't wash the dishes or fold clothes and stuff she would scream and just get nasty. My dad probably hit me once my entire life and he just didn't do much. I have some great memories growing up but I think I'm clouded by a lot of nasty feelings that I still hold onto.
Other recent things that bother me is work. My job pays good and I think I'm talented but I don't find it very fulfilling. I'm a video editor and it requires constant use of the mouse and computer. I work full time. When my pain started about one year ago I had just finished 3 side jobs in a row. All of which were pro-bono and all were demanding with very little appreciation. The people supposed to be helping were inept and I take on other peoples responsibilities in fear of the project falling apart. Eventhough the project isn't even mine, I tend to be more responsible and people can always count on me. Yet I can never count on other people. That's how I feel. The pain I started getting felt like carpal tunnel, then it went to more in the forearm only, then the shoulder. It would go from my right hand to my left arm. Arm and hand Dr. found nothing. Spine Dr. found a herniated disc in the c6-c7 region which does refer pain to arms. But I have not had pain in my neck. Before this happened maybe a year ago I had some recurring pain in my rhomboids. Since my arm pain has started the Rhomboid pain had never been around. I also use to get canker sores all the time but since my arm pain has been here the cankers don't come.
I also am down on my self for not working on my own projects like my own films and writing screenplays. I have written many ideas down but never get to them but I'll do other peoples work for free. I think my Brain is trying to smack me n the head and show me what life is like when you can use your arms. So when I get healthy again I will appreciate my arms. But I DO appreciate my arms and I'm dying to get back to being creative and using the computer more.
For about 10 months I have seen neuromuscular trigger point therapies, acupuncture, chiros, cold laser therapy, yoga, massage therapist, postural coaches, electrical stimulation, neck traction, spent countless dollars on home massage tools, ART therapy, graston technique, Egoscue. I have been like a SUPER HERO with my wallet wide open trying to save my body and putting house per day reading and exercising trying to get my body perfect. If you looked at me you'd think I was an elite athlete. I can workout at the gym usually without any problems. But when I get in front of a computer there goes my forearms and triceps and traps everything starts to tighten up on me. Then I start the massage cycle over and over needling around with my fingers trying to find triggerpoints. Ok enough for now.
Thoughts? |
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oneorbit
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2011 : 18:56:51
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| Meant to add. The pain is bad it can get to a point where I will just walk out of the office and want to run away. Psychologically I am saddened by my state. I wait until my wife and daughter are a sleep before I go outside and cry for a little while and pray for God to heal me. My wife knows I'm in pain but there's only so much I can complain about to her. She's a working mom and stressed as well. Her work is probably more stressful. |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2011 : 21:45:43
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| Hi - I also had a similar childhood, strange at best. My tms started in my twenties. By the way your pain moves around, it sounds like tms. I had a cortisone shot in c5, did nothing except scare me away from surgery. A tms therapist helped me a lot, but this is not needed for most people. I read somewhere that the neck and shoulder pain, and nearsightedness, comes from fear, and the lower back pain, and farsightedness, comes from anger. I had both. Maybe the fear I had was fear of death. Funny to be scared of something that is normal, and part of life. |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2011 : 05:03:03
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quote:
Originally posted by oneorbit
Well I think I am mad at my parents but I'm in my 30's and moved far away from them a long time ago. My dad was a quiet alcoholic never hurt anyone but also never taught me anything or really showed any appreciation towards me. He's been sober now for years and we love each other and I appreciate him supporting the family growing up and being a hard worker but I feel I missed out on a role model. My mom raised us kids and she was extremely volatile and yelled and controlled us kids. I was the youngest of 3 and witnessed lots of fighting, screaming and crying. My mom would hit me when I talked back and if I didn't wash the dishes or fold clothes and stuff she would scream and just get nasty. My dad probably hit me once my entire life and he just didn't do much. I have some great memories growing up but I think I'm clouded by a lot of nasty feelings that I still hold onto.
Don't waste your time looking for causes from anything that happened long ago in your past. Dr. Sarno save my life but after more than 15 years experience with recurrence mindbody syndromes, I truthly think your long ago past is not the cause of it. I think negative things that happened recently, like around 6 months, are the cause of TMS. Every day pressure from job, financial difficulty, relationship, lost of love one, .... caused stress. And when that stress were allowed to last more than 2 weeks we're likely going to get TMS symptoms.
In many countries around the world, capital punishment by parents, old siblings, teachers are allowed and common. Kids were slaved in factories, kids were sold to pay off debts, kids were abused in many unimagine ways, and yet we don't see them get TMS symptoms when they get older.
Some prolong stressful situation that happened right before we first got TMS symptoms is the initial cause of the symptoms. What keep it alive are our wrong thoughts, over analyze things, conditioning, and overly sensitive nerves.
Here is the 3 things that helped me over came my illness:
- Dr. Sarno's books tell me that all of my symptoms have emotional causes. Nothing wrong physically with me and those symptoms are benign. Once I accepted the diagnosis my fear of the symptoms reduced tremendously and my pain soon disappeared or decreased. But his books also made me wasted a big part of my life looking for something, some causes, some repressed rage that happened long ago. I found nothing. If I do find anything it just made my symptoms worst by re-living it. I owe my life to dr Sarno, but people, don't spend your life looking for something happened long ago. The way to become well is much more simple than that. Don't over analyze your symptoms, your past.
- Dr. Claire Weeke's books said the symptoms has nothing to do with anything happened long ago in your past. It is just something recent + wrong thought + sentitize nerve = is the cause. She said there are 2 fears involved in our illness. The first fear is the fear of the symptoms. When it happened we hated it. They can hurt like hell, they limit our movement, our freedom. They affect our thought, our job.... The second fear is the fear of what those symptoms would do to our body. like we fear back pain will damage our nerve beyond repair (have you ever heard of anyone become paralyze from tms backpain or sciatica?) We fear we will do more damage to our body if these pain don't stop. We fear these back pain, knee pains, chest pain... will cripple our body. We fear those anxiety symptoms like chest pain, heart palpitation, foggy brain, weak legs.... will cause heart attack, will cause us to pass out... Well, she taught us that if we just sit there and observe the first fear, accept the first fear but don't be scare of the SECOND FEAR. Don't go: what if, what happen if... Kill your second fear then you will kill your illness. That second fear is what keep your pain, your illness alive. Do everything you can to stop your SECOND FEAR. Many of us been ill like this for months, years, many many years and nothing helped right? Why not devote just 1 month of your life and refuse to fear that second fear. Tell yourself every time you feel the pain: it is tms, it is mindbody syndromes, it is trying to help me forget my everyday problems and tensions. It is harmless. I don't fear it and it will go away. Just one month. Try it. One month of refusing to be affraid of the symptoms. What you got to loose? you've been ill for years and nothing helped and you haven't die yet right? why not spend one month and kill that SECOND fear. Trash in trash out. Our brain is like a box. you put in negative thoughts you will get out negative results. If you replace those negative thougts with positive thoughts you will get positive results.
- After I were able to kill my second fear, my symptoms disappeared. But I notice the symptoms will changed and moved to a new place or I will get a different symptom. I thought to myself, I were able to get rid of my symptoms each time it happened, but to make them all go away completely I have to elliminate most of my tension. I need to correct my way of thinking about everyday stress. I need to somehome react more positively with everyday pressure. And thanks God I found the book: "how to stop worry and start living" by Dale Carnegie. It is my bible now. It was written in the 1940, 1950's way before Sarno and Claire Weeke. Yet you will see tons and tons of example of how everyday people over came tms. They got tms years ago too. It wasn't a new disease. The books is very practical, realistic. Dale Carnegie taught me how to deal with, react to every day pressure and disaster. Buy it, read it, you will see yourself all over again and again in that book.
Sarno's book helped me realized the symptoms had emotional cause. Claire Weeke's book helped me got rid of those symptoms. Dale Carnegie helped me stopped those symptoms from coming back.
Wow. I should post this in the Success forum. You know. I just suffered for years. I felt so lonely, so helpless and desperate for years. Now I found a way out. I just wanted to share with the world how I got well and hope that someone will be able to apply what I have used to get well too. Goodluck to all. |
Edited by - balto on 07/28/2011 09:56:47 |
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oneorbit
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2011 : 05:18:57
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Awesome information. I've read other Dale Carnegie books and were very positive. I know my pain had taken over my life for at least 10 months. I just canceled my last pt appt. And that felt great, basically telling my brain that I'm on to him... I do feel my obsession with this pain has made it worse and my life has turned to fear. Sine we rely on two incomes to pay for my child's school, my arms brain was feeling a lot of pressure to get better so I had more fear that I would not get better.
I fear my wife wishes I made more so she could work less. A lot of mothers at my daughters scoop don't work, and I hear stories about their big houses and I know my family is not materialistic it still makes me feel I didn't deliver the dream, ya know.
Thanks for the ideas and I will start living free of fear and try less to anticipate my pains.
Best wishes to everyone. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2011 : 09:33:57
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Thanks Balto! That's one of the best practical "TMS How To" posts I've ever seen here. It directly answers many of the questions TMS sufferers ask at this board. Although I have enough books to read for the rest of my life, I'll make a point of getting Dale Carnegie's.
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
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Scratchet
United Kingdom
1 Posts |
Posted - 08/07/2011 : 06:04:03
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| which claire weeks book would you recommend? |
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shari
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - 08/07/2011 : 09:17:32
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I just finished reading her "Hope and Help for your Nerves". I found it very helpful for dealing with fear and anxiety. I think her book is a great complement to Sarno's books, especially for those of us who have trouble dealing with fear or even panic when under TMS attack. Her method is simple and very easy to use.
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abbywal
6 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2011 : 13:01:08
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I have a similar story. I took the leap of faith, and it paid off. I am almost pain free!!!
I am willing to bet you have TMS. |
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Forearms, Traps, Triceps and wrist
