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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
 Posted - 01/28/2005 : 19:31:39
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Yet another fight with my father. Not much background needed as I'm sure a great deal of you can relate. Succinctly, I believe he has OCD as do many others, but unfortunately as is the case with OCD he is in complete denile. I completely understand for I was in the same situation, but at the same time have come to terms with the fact that things probably will not change. This being said after I have had numerous talks with him about the subject, speaking to my therapist about it, and so on. So I just said what exactly was on my mind and tried to feel all the anger that was coming up. Of course the resolution consisted of him listening and quickly refuting my claims. Interestingly, my headache got worse during the argument--which it always does. So my point being not so much a cry for help, but rather a good old fashioned vent. It's just frusturating when someone doesn't see what is so obvious to others.
A quick unrelated question: you know how Sarno speaks of the pain improving after massage and exercise? Well, my symptoms always got better during workouts, but isn't the same hold true for any physical symptom--including those that are not TMS--due to the body releasing endorphins?
Seth |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2005 : 21:21:51
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So now I am experiencing the usual feelings of guilt that seem to come over me after my father and I quibble. I know I meant what I said to him, but I just feel that maybe I was being a little too hard. How do you handle these sort of feelings? I'm just trying to ride the wave, reminding myself constantly that the reason my head hurts so much more is because of this emotional outburst.
Seth |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2005 : 09:30:13
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Seth,
I think the reason your head hurts so much during the conversation with your dad is because the "goodist" in you feels guilt for telling him what you think. You have probably grown up like so many of us have with parents who have no problem offering their opinions about you but become outraged if you dare to speak about what is on YOUR mind. I know how you feel, cuz I have the same problem.
Just keep reminding yourself during the headaches that they are an expression of your guilt over talking to your father. Sometimes it's easier to punish ourselves than someone else, you know? I get that way with my own parents. I saw them this past December during the holidays and all my symptoms were at an all time high. Now, my parents live in Michigan and I'm in California (they drove me so insane I picked the west coast to live so that I could get far away from them!!) so I don't see them all that often. You, on the other hand, sound like you are required to spend more time with your dad so you need to find a way to deal with him.
By the way, do you know what Louise Hay says about headaches? She says the thoughts that provoke the headaches are "Invalidating the self. Self-criticism. Fear." Sound like you?
I know the misery of headaches because I suffered from them my entire life, beginning at a young age. Our home was EXTREMELY dysfunctional and I was popping baby aspirin EVERY day as a kid. They still plague me now, as an adult, but not to that extreme. Try to think about what is really bothering you and journal it. Maybe you should stop trying to help your dad if he doesn't want to be helped. There reaches a point when you can only do so much for people that won't admit things to themselves or help themselves. Maybe it's time to take that energy and put it into your own life and help yourself.
Good luck to you Seth. I think many of the people on this forum can relate to you.
Laura
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2005 : 22:35:07
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Louise,
Thanks for your thoughts on the matter. After another long drawn out argument this morning my father ended up apologizing to me, which is generally what happens. I agree with your advice, in that I should take all that energy I have focused on him and apply it to my own healing. By the way, those words about headaches that Louise Hay wrote, I can relate to them all. How does one go applying them to their specific situation? Or is it more of just being conscious of them? Also, where is everyone? Posting seems a bit slow lately. Thanks again.
Seth |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2005 : 02:12:37
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Seth,
According to Louise Hay, the new thought pattern you need to repeat (like a mantra if you will) is "I love and approve of myself. I see myself and what I do with eyes of love. I am safe." Apparently, by repeating the new thought pattern, it will help to eliminate the cycle of the headaches.
Yes, I agree that this board has been pretty quiet. I guess maybe that's a good thing though.
Good luck and happy healing.
Laura
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Just a quick vent
