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golden_girl
United Kingdom
128 Posts |
 Posted - 05/19/2011 : 20:44:57
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Long story short... I know I have TMS/anxiety, whatever you want to call it. My symptoms are huge amounts of anxiety/"interstitial cystitis" (a term I don't use, but just for ease of clarification).
I haven't googled any symptoms or anything in a long time. Then, last night, on my fancy new phone because I'm a massive geek, I googled 'anxiety and urgency' (meaning urinary urgency). And got this: http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/content/43/2/25.full
Well, I was all over the fact that I'm not surprised that anxiety and "IC" go hand in hand, and I fully accept that anxiety can have a myriad of physical effects, (the ones they name in the article include "mitral valve prolapse, migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, hypercholesterolemia, hypoglycemia, bronchitis, and skin disorders." and I fully believe IBS (a bunch of BS, literally!), migraines and skin disorders are all TMS (having had them, past tense) and doctors and the medical/pharmaceutical profession want to give it a name and MAKE IT REAL and I was shouting "TMS" at the phone, but CHROMOSOME 13.
Now, I have ZERO knowledge of what genetic disorders mean. I know that my three siblings don't have any anxiety (my only sister has suffered from what she calls "clinical depression") and I know my parents are what any doctors would call mentally sound (especially my mother; my father I think has a host of physical TMS issues, although anxiety is not one) so I don't have any close relatives with anxiety to make it "genetically disposed" that way.
However, my mother had four children, and four miscarriages. I'm the youngest, and she had two of those miscarriages between me and my elder brother. And the reason for her miscarriages? A malformation, a mutation, to do with chromosome 13. Apparently (and this is what you were told in 1982) - there was something wrong with her thirteenth chromosome, and something wrong with my father's thirteenth chromosome, which is rare to have two partners with the same issue, and it meant some of her pregnancies were not viable.
I have always thought, from my meagre understanding, that therefore we kids who made it must've been a-ok. But WHAT IF I WAS MALFORMED ON A GENETIC LEVEL. Wow, I know I must be taking cyberchondria to a new high here, but I can totally accept emotional and psychological issues causing physical symptoms, but I have no understanding nor comprehension of genetic disorders.
So, I know I have failed in my attempts to overcome my issues, and I know some of the reasons why. I accept that. I am weak, I haven't really done the work etc ad infinitum. But (hello madness (I think?!)) what if this is even more deep down than I ever thought and I can NEVER overcome it, because it's in my very DNA? I'm freaked out, if I allow my "delicate" anxious mind to even consider it, never mind dwell on it.
I respect science greatly, and so I can't dismiss forays into genetic exploration. What if I am at the mercy of my genes?!
[Then I got really stupid and read for two hours on primal therapy and its cousins, and got even more freaked out... :( anyone done that?!]
(Ha, unintentional sad smilies - are they even smilies when they're sad?! EMOTICONS - sorry)
Need to be talked down from the ledge I think!!
Or, I shall listen to Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen (the words couldn't be better for a TMS-er!!!) and drink another glass of vino!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfq_A8nXMsQ
Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
"F.E.A.R.
Forgive Everyone And Remember
For Everything A Reason"
Ian Brown |
Edited by - golden_girl on 05/19/2011 21:01:23 |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2011 : 01:08:33
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Hey GG,
So you have thoughts in a particular direction that you feel are NOT serving you, right?
You have two options:
1- thank you brain for sharing it's opinion with you and CHOOSE to think something different
2- find ways to discredit and disprove your current mental stories.
Anxiety based on genes hey? That means our entire persona is a product of DNA......and that each time you were cloned you would think and act the exact same way. I'll be polite here and say that I disagree with this.
Have you ever changed part of your personality? If so then this goes against the gene theory...
GG...are you intelligent? I once had a psychologist tell me that most intelligent people suffer from anxiety disorders.....because we're smart enough to think the negative sequence through to the end.
What is anxiety?
Anticipation/fear of a future, or perceived future, loss.....nothing more.
If your house burned down and you had no insurance then I'm sure you would have loads of anxiety......but if you knew that everything was going to be replaced you were going to be better off......then all of a sudden no anxiety. Same event, different emotion based on the perception of the event.
What if you knew that everything would be ok in the end even with no insurance.......much less anxiety. Why? Anxiety is a state of mind.....nothing else.
The more anxiety you have, the more addicted you become to it....so the more anxiety you have.
D
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2011 : 05:37:11
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GG,
Nice post. Smart gal. This no doubt is your rampant hypochondria at work, but having said that I can see how this might get under your skin, so to speak.
There are experts in this field. If you have the money it might be worth a consult.
Then when he tells you you're worried about nothing, which he surely will, you can keep your resolution never to google a symptom again! |
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Forfeet
USA
40 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2011 : 14:55:54
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Hey Golden,
As has been suggested here and you probably know yourself, genes and genotypes are one thing-how they are expressed as phenotypes in a person is another. You could consult an expert or find a fairly up to date human development college textbook and see how genes are expressed in part by environment and social factors as well as many other variables inside and outside a person.
This alone won't stop your worries, as I and others here worry despite our knowledge, but it will give you another piece of evidence/tool to confront those worries.
An interesting book is The Developing Mind by Dan Siegel. Not an easy read but has a lot of interesting research on how social interaction affects our development in conjunction with genetic makeup and neuron creation/connection. Less about physical and more about behavior/psychology but has many good references, etc, some of which probably involve physical development.
Hang in there. You've got a group of supporters here.
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SylviaB
5 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2011 : 22:52:39
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Hi Golden girl
This is Sylvia again and I would agree with Darko totally.
I find that when I read about interstitial cystitis and sad things about it , I would freak out more and it was not useful at all and my thoughts ,negative ones would be all over the place and would create more anxiety so really, I decided to stop doing this as I know it is Tms and all you have to do is convince yourself you can cure yourself
As for your genes, let me tell you that you are more of a product of the environment than your genes. They did experiments years ago with adopted children and found out that very very often these people developp the di-sease of their adoptive parents, not the biological ones! It has been proven and I saw a show about it years ago by a professor of Stanford.Dr Lipton wrote a book also about the power of belief and proved similar things and I can assure you that it is true! So genes are not the culprit in your case. Anxiety and fear and more fear anxiety are the culprit. Trust me I am one of you! So continue to talk to your brain and listen to the great people on this forum.I do the same.Some days are easier than others but keep going at it and you will succeed! Please stop reading things about I.C that are depressing .Unless they help you ,just like Darko says about thoughts, then dont pay attention to it ( or dont read emails and things negative on I.C ) WHEN I did i would get more anxious and think more and more but not in a good way.You are smart and you can do it ( focus on good thoughts and trust that you can heal.One day at a time. Try to stay " present" .When you mind starts going in one direction ,if negative, thank it but go back to Now... Dont think of tomorrow just concentrate on today. bring your mind back to NOW. Also create a safe place in your mind ( for me it is my grandma ,I picture her in a little cottage with me and my boyfriend and a fireplace and I see myself reading a book and watching a movie with my boyfriend and being peaceful while my grandma is knitting)/This is my safe place when anxiety about symptoms increase and the " what if I get worse) I go to my safe place and see it and try to concentrate on happy feelings.( my grandma is dead but she was a good person in my life so picturing her and my boyfriend and feeling peaceful helps to calm me down when i panic....) try something similar, even if you dont do it often ,try it ,you will quiet your mind.
Hope this helps a bit
Sylvia |
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I made a bit of a boo-boo...
