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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
 Posted - 04/26/2011 : 19:55:17
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Yes, it's a grand announcement, but I think I need to take a break.
Starting May 01, I've got to be off the forums for awhile. I'm announcing it this way so I can get my *ss kicked if I come back before August 01.
I want to thank everybody on here for support -- those who have answered specifically and those who have posted suggestions and just all those who are here in one way or another.
Here's where I need the help, and I know none of you (or at least most of you, are not doctors). I had to get a new PCP yesterday, because I don't have one. He is an OD, an older doctor, but a good listener, and recommended by a friend.
Anyway, I took my records in and he looked at the transcript of my two year old MRI showing my disc protrusion. I told him about the pain on my right side. He said that's a tough place to have a disc problem and that I should never get an operation because of the risk, etc. I told him I didn't plan on it. He then said he has only seen three or so mid-back disc protrusions in his near 40 years in practice. Great, I'm thinking, I'm being told all over again that I have some freakish thing that is strange and incurable. Yet I had the presence of mind, thanks to TMS, this forum and my classes, to recall that a full 15% of the population will show incidental mid-back disc protrusions that are asymptomatic.
Then, without any coaching from me, he said that my problem could be caused from stress, because my symptoms were to the right and the protrusion to the left. I inwardly shouted "Yes!", because I needed to hear that from a "structural" guy. He told me I looked stressed then. I said I was. Had been. Forever now it seems.
My successes since last fall:
1. Got a lot of anxiety under control.
2. Returned to jogging and bike riding and lifting weights.
3. Have noticed reduced pain/stiffness in my side and back.
4. Huge knot in my back right side disappeared shortly after reading
HBP.
5. I can bend forward now with much less pain in my solar plexus.
6. I've actually made the pain disappear when flying long distances, something I could never do before.
7. I've returned to doing things with friends.
My failures:
1. I am obsessed (OCD) with the stiffness on my side and find it hard to think psychologically about it.
2. I am easily side tracked and discouraged, especially when I have incidents like yesterday, even though the new doc was essentially saying the Sarno message...after he thought about it. Yet, it is hard to hear that you are a freak medical thing. I just try to keep the idea that TMS can go for physical weak points, hoping that to be correct.
3. Calendar watching. I do it too much. I try not to.
So what am I asking? I'm not even sure. I'm thinking that lurking around in these forums is helping me keep my mind where it shouldn't be. I think I need to do more mental work and keep busy with the life things I should be doing.
I guess what I'm asking for is reinforcement. When you live with something for so long and when it bothers you every waking moment, I guess you can get lost in it.
So somebody tell me that it seems like I've made progress and then give me some parting suggestions, if you wish. If not, simply notice the rantings of a madman and shake your collective heads 
Sorry this is so long and convoluted, and I do understand if nobody posts anything. If not, thanks again, and will jump back after some warm weeks (hopefully) have passed.
My thoughts and prayers and best wishes go out to you all. Thanks again.
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Edited by - Back2-It on 04/26/2011 20:09:54 |
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susan828
USA
291 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2011 : 20:17:02
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| Hi Back, I just want to say that I find your posts so genuinely from the heart. I relate to them and I know how hard you are trying. I want to give you my wishes for finding some resolution and I hope that taking this break will help. Take good care and maybe see you sometime in the future. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2011 : 23:07:13
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quote:
Originally posted by Back2-It
Yet, it is hard to hear that you are a freak medical thing. I just try to keep the idea that TMS can go for physical weak points, hoping that to be correct.
I think Dr. Sarno would say your disc bulge is a normal anomaly and no one has perfect back x-rays--gray hair of the spine.
He would also say the back is not weak, what you consider a physical weak point in not.
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
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forestfortrees
393 Posts |
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kenny V
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2011 : 11:58:15
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quote:
So what am I asking? I'm not even sure. I'm thinking that lurking around in these forums is helping me keep my mind where it shouldn't be. I think I need to do more mental work and keep busy with the life things I should be doing.
I guess what I'm asking for is reinforcement. When you live with something for so long and when it bothers you every waking moment, I guess you can get lost in it.
So somebody tell me that it seems like I've made progress and then give me some parting suggestions, if you wish. If not, simply notice the rantings of a madman and shake your collective heads
Back 2 it I don’t know ya or your entire story BC I haven’t been around for long time. But that’s ok right? Cuz I’m a fellow TMS’er .How ya doing I’m Kenny V (old veteran long time TMS sufferer). Was pretty much healed back in 2003 so I am not an active member any longer.
Anyways just want to encourage you from what you said here. From what you have written it seems you have a little more work to do… But that’s ok I think if you are 100% versed in TMS you will only get better as you apply what you have learned. Rem All forms of healing takes time… and if yours has more than physical component than it can be a bit complicated to break many habits that have lead up to your current condition. Remember healing takes time...... don’t beat yourself up. And if you developed a condition over a LONG period of time. It may take some time to correct it.
With that said. Yes Sometimes you need to move on (also take a break) to make more progress with your condition. However then its time to focus more on yourself in the areas of your life that needs attention. Hope that makes sense.
Reinforcement reinforcement reinforcement. You got it !!!! I t been where you are 8 years ago…
Just by you writing this post shows you know, it is time to move forward and something is needed to help you move forward.
And I feel for ya for the pain I lived in pain for 22 years. My words are not idle I understand. But Rem you said every waking moment and I know it’s hard. But you must not live like that anymore so CHANGES need to be made else you will stay stuck there. I think you know what you need to do. If we are all honest with ourselves we will get better as we take ownership of our condition and make the correct changes > I hope this was encouraging and the reinforcement that you had asked for
I wish you all the best I think you are making a good decision.
Btw it was hard for me to let go and leave the forum, but like yourself, I knew it was needed the most to continue to heal.
Ps Hope I got ya before ya go…
As always my Best
Kenny v
Always Hope For Recovery
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2011 : 22:01:51
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Thanks all for the advice.
Kenny, yes I am planning to immerse myself in the things I have to do, to work on myself. Thanks for the encouragement. I get lost in the pain sometimes. It has worn me out.
Forest, thanks. I'll miss the forums, because I have no family support and can't burden friends, but I will try to live like I have no pain.
Tennis, thanks. You've responded to my problems on here specifically, and I thank you for that.
Susan, thanks to you, too. I read your comments all the time.
In my head I'll probably imagine some posting that I will do.
I don't know if it's the right choice or the wrong to let the forums go.
Take care all. God bless. And I hope that you all are feeling well.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
Edited by - Back2-It on 04/30/2011 22:18:15 |
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Help Needed Before Leaving
