| Author |
 Topic  |
|
maldon
United Kingdom
6 Posts |
 Posted - 04/01/2011 : 01:52:57
|
Susan - the point you mention in regards to Schubiner's book totally struck a chord with me yesterday. I've never read it but the idea of telling the pain to go away seemed ludicrously simple. From experience of TMS I'd never make any sweeping statements about cures or anything but getting up this morning without the usual stiffness and tender spots has got me thinking there's something to treating my TMS like an unwanted parasite. There's a scene in the Lord of the Rings when Smeagol is telling his nasty alter-ego Gollum to "go away and never come back". I have a uni assignment due in and my sciatica has been playing up as I look for excuses not to hand it in on time (fear of failure issues I think). But I MUST hand it in and I ended up getting angry and telling my pain/anxiety that it was actually ruining my life; that it served no useful purpose and to "go away and never come back". I even taunted it with playground insults and battled it with positive, happy, healthy messages like a form of mental pronking!! (Pronking is the super athletic moves gazelles/antelopes do when a hungry lion is watching them. It's a "look how fast and agile I am" tactic so the lion chooses easier prey.)
As I said earlier I feel great today (and any pain-free day is a good one to be enjoyed) but with TMS tomorrow is another story. I'm going to continue the personal attacks on my pain/fear parasite and hope for the best. I like this forum  |
 |
|
|
wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2011 : 19:48:20
|
Hearing others describe tms patterns that are very much like mine, gives me greater confidence in this way of viewing symptoms. Still, the compulsion to respond with FEAR to the next symptom has been wired in for so long that it will take great desire, patience, and work, to change my programming. I'm okay with that. I like a challenge.
Today is a good example. Three days ago, I was very disturbed because an old foot pf had been stirred up. It went from very minor to quite intense in a matter of hours and then was pretty much gone the next day. Two good days and it is slightly stirred up again today along with some ischial tuberosity pain that flared up for a few hours and then disappeared. What I did differently this time was that three days ago I was so fed up with this constant barrage of symptoms that I made a serious attempt to simply monitor my thought without trying to do anything about them. Every time the thought of my foot would come up, I would simply notice it and not take the bait of trying to delve deeper into it, eg, what did I do to hurt it, how long will it last, how will it effect my running... This seemed to work quite well as I felt much calmer even with the symptoms and these symptoms departed much quicker than I would have expected (returned somewhat after two days absence).
Something else. To me, the simple fact that symptoms can come and go so quickly (sometimes within minutes), move around, change in intensity, seems to strongly indicate PSYCHOSOMATIC! "Real" injuries behave in a more logical way. |
|
|
|
art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2011 : 14:16:32
|
Wrld,
You've come a long way. I remember when you were still questioning whether TMS applied to your case. At least I think I remember that..
In any case, that was all well expressed. I've been dealing with a hamstring (the other leg now). I'm as certain as I can be the initial injury was real. It happened after shoveling snow for 2 hours a day for days on end. There was no place to run with all the snow we had, so I was using the shoveling as way to work out...One day I shoveled longer and harder even than I'd be doing previously, ignoring warning pains. Then finally went for a run the next day. When I got back I knew I was sunk. Took 6 days off, then despite continued pain tried to run. That one pretty much crippled me....
Long story shorter, I took 4 weeks off from there, then starting swimming and doing a kind of aerobic routine in the house. I had to get back to working out, and the swimming and aerobics type deal seemed gentle enough. When the pain started in again, I decided this time it had to be TMS. You know the drill: it came and went, varied in intensity, seemed to occur at odd times...
It's been a battle because of the high stakes nature of hamstrings. Nothing's certain in this life, and yet it's important not to simply plow ahead but to do so as fearlessly as possible..
Yesterday the pain was pretty intense, but swam anyway this morning, and now the pain is pretty much gone. Instructive to note that even though I continued on all this time under the TMS assumption, the pain steadily increased until I found a way to stop the fear...No great trick there: just a lot of self talk and logical examinations of symptoms... |
Edited by - art on 04/02/2011 14:17:46 |
|
|
|
thecastleaugh
6 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2011 : 08:49:23
|
Wow, this topic really got me thinking. PTosh, I know how you feel. I feel like "Akeelah and the Bee," when it says you're not afraid to lose, you're afraid to win. I feel like if I do something well, people won't like me because I'll be better than them. I hold myself back and intentionally do poorly just so I can stay in the range of "normal." Sometimes the fear of not being liked is crippling. I didn't even know what it was until a few weeks ago, when my twin questioned me about it and I just answered without thinking.
Goodney, Art, you guys must have had this for a long time. Your posts make me feel better just reading them--I'm not alone in thinking of my feelings as an addiction! It's like even when I know I should be happy, I get happier when something goes wrong. Does that happen to anyone? I can't seem to help feeling happy when I should feel bad, almost like happiness is the bad feeling. Like, when something bad happens, even if it wasn't me (and it usually isn't), I smile and I don't even know why. Or like when I'm crying, even when I'm by myself, it almost makes me happy that I can cry. Am I just crazy?
-------------------------
"What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
"What do you mean: an African or European swallow?"
"What, behind the rabbit?"
"No... it IS the rabbit!" |
|
|
|
Goodney
USA
76 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2011 : 10:28:50
|
Thecastleaugh:
You are not crazy at all, don't worry. You're right, I have had TMS for a long time, most of my life in fact. I suffered terrible physical and emotional abuse as a child, and looking back, I realize that the unexplained stomach pain and abdominal discomfort throughout my childhood were only the first manifestations of TMS.
I hear what you're saying when it comes to feeling good about feeling bad. It seems absolutely counter-intuitive, until you keep in mind how tricky the subconscious can be. For me, somewhere along the way I developed a mindset of worrying and obsessing about negative outcomes in every given situation (my "catastrophizing"); it became a habit, it became my familiar way of looking at the world, and it became comforting because it gave me the illusion that I could anticipate and avoid the danger by simply anticipating and preparing for the worst. It gave me the illusion of control and self-preservation. Handy for protecting myself from going insane as a child in mortal danger of being beaten to death, not so handy for living a healthy adult life after the original physical danger ceased to exist. But it was developed by my subconscious as a defense -- much like physical pain from TMS, which I also developed as a defense around that same young age.
I am convinced that our adult thought patterns (and our physical sensations) are often dictated by our subconscious mind trying to protect us using techniques developed at a very early age against perceived threats to our mental and physical well being. And the stronger the perceived reality of those early threats (whether accurately perceived or not), the stronger the subconscious reaction, and the harder to eradicate, even when as an adult we realize that those old protective techniques are hindering us living a full and happy life.
So, we're more afraid of winning than losing, right? We need people to like us, right? (I am often reminded of a quote by John Thompson, the former coach of Georgetown University's basketball team: "If you want someone to like you, lose".) We want to stay in the "normal" range, right? We're happier when things go wrong, right? Sounds crazy, right? Not to your subconscious! |
|
|
|
Goodney
USA
76 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2011 : 11:13:02
|
| Oh, and I almost forgot to add that it sounds crazy that in order to protect ourselves from strong emotions we use pain in different parts of our body when there is no structural problem, right? Not to your subconscious! |
|
|
|
wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2011 : 13:02:06
|
Thanks Art. I definitely know what you mean about the "high stakes" nature of hamstring symptoms. That one scares the crap out of me because I have a real partial rupture from many years ago that very easily get stirred up with the slightest over stretching. The other thing that scares me is pf, but only on the left foot. It's very strange because it doesn't behave like normal pf; painful in the morning and getting better through the day (like the right foot does), just the opposite. I don't understand it.
Heading to Arizona tomorrow for a week where I'll spend a lot of time running on the great system of canals. You can run in one direction, totally flat gravel, for miles and miles in the heat. Great! |
|
|
|
art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2011 : 14:37:48
|
quote:
Originally posted by wrldtrv
Thanks Art. I definitely know what you mean about the "high stakes" nature of hamstring symptoms. That one scares the crap out of me because I have a real partial rupture from many years ago that very easily get stirred up with the slightest over stretching. The other thing that scares me is pf, but only on the left foot. It's very strange because it doesn't behave like normal pf; painful in the morning and getting better through the day (like the right foot does), just the opposite. I don't understand it.
Heading to Arizona tomorrow for a week where I'll spend a lot of time running on the great system of canals. You can run in one direction, totally flat gravel, for miles and miles in the heat. Great!
Pf doesn't scare me particularly because 1: It's almost always TMS in my experience and 2: you can still run with it even if it's genuine.
Of course you can feel pretty sure that your current bout is TMS simply on the basis of the symptoms being backward..
AZ sounds terrific. Enjoy.
No fear! |
|
|
|
Jonathan Baruch
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2011 : 22:18:56
|
This something I too relate. I was on the road to recovery, and suddenly thebpain move from left to right, to shin, to butt, great in the morning, crappy at night, next daynthe opposite. On Friday, I dealt with two enormous work personnel issues, which I am convinced has been living in my sub conscious so I am hopeful my bodymwill respond favorably. Run into your TMS, as opposed to running away from it! Enjoy your holiday.
quote]Originally posted by art
quote:
Originally posted by wrldtrv
Thanks Art. I definitely know what you mean about the "high stakes" nature of hamstring symptoms. That one scares the crap out of me because I have a real partial rupture from many years ago that very easily get stirred up with the slightest over stretching. The other thing that scares me is pf, but only on the left foot. It's very strange because it doesn't behave like normal pf; painful in the morning and getting better through the day (like the right foot does), just the opposite. I don't understand it.
Heading to Arizona tomorrow for a week where I'll spend a lot of time running on the great system of canals. You can run in one direction, totally flat gravel, for miles and miles in the heat. Great!
Pf doesn't scare me particularly because 1: It's almost always TMS in my experience and 2: you can still run with it even if it's genuine.
Of course you can feel pretty sure that your current bout is TMS simply on the basis of the symptoms being backward..
AZ sounds terrific. Enjoy.
No fear!
[/quote]
Life is good!
JB |
|
|
|
thecastleaugh
6 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2011 : 12:36:55
|
quote:
Originally posted by Goodney
Thecastleaugh:
You are not crazy at all, don't worry. You're right, I have had TMS for a long time, most of my life in fact. I suffered terrible physical and emotional abuse as a child, and looking back, I realize that the unexplained stomach pain and abdominal discomfort throughout my childhood were only the first manifestations of TMS.
I hear what you're saying when it comes to feeling good about feeling bad. It seems absolutely counter-intuitive, until you keep in mind how tricky the subconscious can be. For me, somewhere along the way I developed a mindset of worrying and obsessing about negative outcomes in every given situation (my "catastrophizing"); it became a habit, it became my familiar way of looking at the world, and it became comforting because it gave me the illusion that I could anticipate and avoid the danger by simply anticipating and preparing for the worst.
Oh my gosh, thank you for that! I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I thought I was crazy... That post really made my day just now. I came from a similar situation (not physical pain, but mental), and this reaction has really been getting in the way now that I'm no longer in danger. I'll keep your post in mind the next time I feel like that. Thanks again!
-------------------------
"What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
"What do you mean: an African or European swallow?"
"What, behind the rabbit?"
"No... it IS the rabbit!" |
|
|
|
Goodney
USA
76 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2011 : 20:58:21
|
Thecastleaugh:
You are so very welcome. You are NOT crazy and you are NOT alone. I'm glad to help. |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
|
|
Raging TMS
