| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Linda615
USA
3 Posts |
 Posted - 01/21/2005 : 20:54:33
|
I need some help understanding where I'm at with my recovery. I first read Dr. Sarno's book a few weeks ago and had an amazing reaction. I was completely pain free for 1 week. I was so relieved and happy to think that I had finally found the answer to my 15 year history with daily pain. I was sitting without cushions behind me and doing all sorts of things I couldn't do before. I was feeling like I was starting a new life.
Then in the past 2 weeks the pain has been coming back in little bits. I have been journaling 3 times a day and being very "present" with my feelings. I have been journaling for the past 1 1/2 years but increased since discovering the TMS diagosis. I feel like I've pretty much uncovered everything that is an issue. I have been especially attentive to my feelings when the pain starts in and noticing which activities trigger it.
Today I vacuumed for the first time in a very long time thinking, this is great now, I should be able to vacuum without pain since this is not a physical problem. Well, I was in incredible pain just 10 minutes into it. I reminded myself that I might be "conditioned" to have pain during this activity but it didn't help any and now this evening I'm hurting terribly.
I know I am not supposed to be concerned or upset about the pain but I'm starting to doubt. I wasn't doubting at all before the pain started returning. I had totally accepted the diagnosis and was embracing my pain free life. Any suggestions on why my pain may be returning after being completely gone for a period of time and what can I do to help it?
Thanks!
Linda |
|
|
mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2005 : 22:17:08
|
Linda615,
I'm so pleased that you experienced a whole pain free week. Hold on to that and don't forget it when and if the pain tries to sneak back which it no doubt will.
It is not unusual for the pain to go way after reading Sarno only to come back again. This has happened to many of us. TMS is sneaky that way. There is no doubt in my mind that the vacuum incident is definitely due to a condidtioned response and also remember that there will be some pain if you are using muscles you haven't used in a while.
Whatever you do don't doubt. It is easy to believe when you do not have pain but more difficult when the pain returns . You must believe it no matter what. Keep journalling but don't overdo it. You sound like you may be obsessing over it a wee bit. Keep active, try to have a normal life and try to vacuum a little every day till you get over your fear.
Keep reading Sarno and remember that pain free week you had.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
 |
|
|
Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2005 : 00:49:37
|
Hi Linda615,
Some people read Sarno and their pain vanishes forever, case closed. Others have very slow gradual recoveries with regressions, a constant battle. Its really different for everyone. Its common to go in/out of pain for some people, I know I do.
When you start to sense pain coming on again, try to think "What is bothering me now to cause this?" When you can recognize this happening, and then associate it with the feeling that you have just unconsciously repressed, then you will learn to short circuit the pain before it gets going too much.
Patience. Keep the Faith. As Baseball65 says, peace.
Take care, -Stryder |
|
|
|
Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2005 : 09:22:45
|
Hi Linda615 ..hey..that's my area code!!!
You were obviously READY to read Sarno.All the journaling you did prior to reading it was very valuable,and was probably the reason you had such an amazingly quick recovery.You were already aware of a lot of the things inside of you,and the very sensible theory of Dr. Sarno explained it all and put all the pieces in place.
I too understood it intellectually right away.I didn't have the amazingly fast recovery you had,though I went from cripple to back at hard labor in 5 weeks.Still there were other "issues" to work out.I too Had journaled in the past,though not with the intent of finding suppressed rage.Also,I never knew about the fortress of the subconscious and it is a hard pill to swallow that there is part of our mind that we are not privy to.
All of us are slightly different.The fact that you immediately thought "conditioning" is a very good sign.I was conditioned to fear running.I was warned I might paralyze myself if I ever ran again.Immediately after reading the book,I was walking through the park where I did my therapy walks.It occured to me,as I was still in pain,that I used to run,skateboard and bike through that park,but never walk.
I immediately sprinted across the entire park as fast as my atrophied little stick of a leg would let me.I got to the other side and lo and behold...I was still in pain.BUT...I was not in any worse pain,nor was I paralyzed.Since I intellectually understood the book,I was a bit bummed that it did not leave right away.
Remember,the same part of our personality that makes us anxious,wanting an outcome right away so we can 'be sure',is the same reason WHY we have TMS in the first place.
I've been pain free for years now,and in the great scheme of things you are doing A++++ triple excellent.I don't imagine you will have a prologed recovery,but there is still work left to do.I still have to write and dig to avoid OTHER things from becoming symptomatic and distracting me....it is a curse and a blessing.
If you continue with the 12 reminders and the searching,stay aware of the conditioning and most importantly,focus on a problem rather than the pain,your pain will dissolve as surely as the rest of ours has.
You are right on time!
peace
Baseball65 |
|
|
|
Linda615
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2005 : 18:55:22
|
Thanks everyone,
Those replies were very helpful. I also looked back over the other posts regarding recurrence of pain and saw that these questions have been answered a lot for people. I appreciate you taking the time to do it again for me.
Mala, you are probably right with me obsessing and overdoing it a bit with the journaling. That's my style though, if a little is good, more is better and I usually add in lots of obsessing. I think Baseball65 hit it on the head too by saying: "Remember,the same part of our personality that makes us anxious,wanting an outcome right away so we can 'be sure',is the same reason WHY we have TMS in the first place." That describes me pretty well.
I have felt much better today. I have hardly had any pain at all and was able to sit for almost 3 hours and read! I'm really enjoying that. When I start to get a little bit of pain I do a check to see what I'm upset about and then follow that by talking to my mind and telling it I will not allow this, it's no longer necessary, and I tell the pain I'm going to ignore you now. Then I switch all my focus on feeling what I'm feeling in the moment. Also, since I believe mine is based on fear (since it goes away when I'm feeling confident) I summon my spiritual faith and really believe that all of this is going to be ok.
I'm finding it very interesting as to which activities are causing the pain to sneak back in. This is going to be a very good guide for me as I continue to grow in my awareness.
Thank you all again!
Linda
|
|
|
|
lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2005 : 20:22:28
|
Regarding the doubt that TMS tries to sneak into your mind; does it always come in a structural form? In other words, my biggest doubt is that my rx antidepressants are causing my problems, which I've mentioned before. I'm pretty convinced that nothing is wrong structurally with me, but this keeps popping up. Could it be possible that this is my version of "structural?"
Seth |
|
|
|
Albert
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2005 : 09:39:26
|
Linda 615:
You say that you believe that your TMS is based on fear. I'm no expert on what can cause TMS, but Dr. Sarno seems to believe that suppressed rage is the main culprit. Because of your spiritual faith, are you afraid to acknowledge that you have a lot of suppressed rage? There's nothing wrong with having a lot of supperessed rage. Having a narcissistic child within in us that constantly gets angry and stores up suppressed anger, is a part of being human. Also, spiritual faith is fine, but if you get well it will be because TMS theory is true and because you did the work. Perhaps this is all clear to you. I wrote this just in case.
I must write this disclaimer. I've been at this for just 4 weeks so I'm no expert. I just wrote what immediately occurred to me.
quote:
Originally posted by Linda615
Thanks everyone,
Also, since I believe mine is based on fear (since it goes away when I'm feeling confident) I summon my spiritual faith and really believe that all of this is going to be ok.
Thank you all again!
Linda
|
|
|
|
Louise
USA
68 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2005 : 10:25:19
|
Seth -
You mentioned that you're on prescription anti-depressants - didn't you post recently that you had, ahem, decreased libido? That is one of the side-effects of some anti-depressant medications. I was on Zoloft for 3 months a couple of years ago. I liked the lessening of my depression (over being in constant pain - this was before I discovered Dr. Sarno) and also the lessening of my obsessive tendencies. However, I pretty much lost all interest in sex - just couldn't care less. Perhaps the meds are having the same effect on you??  |
|
|
|
lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2005 : 11:48:01
|
Louise,
That could be possible, but I have had this issue way before starting the meds, pretty much as soon as my chronic TMS symptoms appeared. I'm under the assumption that the best way to judge is see how I feel when the pain goes away and then adjust the medications accordingly?
Seth |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
Pain gone, now returning
