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Tunza
New Zealand
198 Posts |
 Posted - 01/20/2005 : 12:29:37
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I just had to post this to express some of my anxiety to someone as I'm home alone. We just had the 11th of a swarm of earthquakes here in Wellington, New Zealand that have happened over the last few days. It's not that each one was huge (the one a few minutes ago was only 5.5 on richter scale -when I checked our geo science website just now - which usually doesn't do much physical damage, just makes people jumpy) but it's the "What if" anxiety about the "big one" that New Zealand is overdue for (apparently).
Now I've expressed that I'm going to go about my daily life and if the anxiety bubbles up I'm going to acknowledge it, feel it and then move on (instead of my usual trying to deny I'm scared or the opposite of talking obsessively "about the fear" with others - ie I want to instead just sit quietly with it and letting it run it's course thru me). AnneG is this what Claire Weekes said in her book? To kind of surf the fear (I read her ages ago and can't quite remember). If I try and cognitively rationalise the fear away it doesn't work.
Sorry if my post is a bit jumbled. Thanks for listening.
Kat |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2005 : 12:46:01
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Dear Kat,
I feel for you. I live in Southern California so I'm familiar with earthquakes. I remember the one in 1994 very vividly. In fact, our two young daughters came down with chicken pox right in the middle of it, which heightened my state of anxiety (How would I care for them properly and bathe them in Aveeno bath with no running water and no electricity in the house?) They keep warning us that California is overdue for "the big one" as well and if I were to give it any thought, I think I'd make myself crazy. After the Tsunami, I think everybody has rattled nerves.
Last night, while unwinding before bed and watching the news, they were talking about these Chinese people who had come in over the Mexican border and were going to Boston with some Iraquey (I was half asleep so might not have the story straight) who had a "dirty bomb" i.e. nuclear device. Scared the heck out of me for a second, and then I thought "I can't spend my life living in fear of 'what ifs.'" I've got enough stuff in my life that is going on around me right now.
I didn't find your post to be jumbled at all. It sounds like you are doing the right thing by acknowledging the anxiety and then moving on. Just keep doing what you're doing and try to find some ways to alleviate your anxiety, either through meditation, exercise, a cup of cammomile, or whatever. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
Laura
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Tunza
New Zealand
198 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2005 : 12:58:23
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Thanks so much Laura for your supportive post.
I didn't hear the news about the nuclear device. I'm trying a news-diet where I don't read the newspaper (except to check the weather) or watch the news on TV. I have a tendency to catastrophise (don't think I spelt that right) along with a very active imagination so I know my subsonscious mind will dwell on the negatives and add fuel to the fire.
So far the diet is going well.
I'm hoping to lose pounds of worry (-:
How did you stop worrying about aftershocks being another big one after the '94 quake. Did the fear just fade out as time went on?
Kat |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2005 : 21:11:46
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I was just going to suggest a news diet (Dr.Weil is a big proponent and recommends them often), or if that's too much, at least abstain from the news directly before bed--who wants all that negativity absorbed in their unconscious anyway?
Seth |
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2005 : 10:11:00
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Yes, Kat - Claire Weekes (and I have one of her books at hand now) advises -
Float past tension and fear
Float past unwelcome suggestions
Float don't fight
Accept and let more time pass
That's at the end of a chapter on dealing with fear where she identifies physical responses that the body makes when fear starts. That chapter offers advice and ideas on how to overcome fear.
It wouldn't do any harm to re-read one of her books - they really are classics of the anti-anxiety/depression genre.
I'm sure you're not alone in your fear, Kat - everyone in geologically sensitive areas must be. I know it's easy for me to say from the UK - an 'earth tremor' of 2.5 made the news here yesterday. You are right not to cognitively rationalise the fear away - because it is not an irrational fear - letting it run its course is a much better idea.
Best wishes
Anne
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Tunza
New Zealand
198 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2005 : 14:13:27
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Thanks for that Anne. Your posts are really helpful for me because of your experience with anxiety. I have had panic attacks at different stages of my life and although they are now limited to a phobia of plane flights and boat trips I do have other anxieties. I am so aware of these now with doing the TMS work and how much havoc they cause in my nervous system.
One example is dealing with customers at work who are even in the slightest bit angry or impatient. It sends me into a spin as I always want everyone to approve of me. I have always known that this doesn't help my pain levels but now I understand how enraging this must be to my unconscious mind.
I must find where I put the Claire Weekes book and read it again like you suggest.
Seth - although I am doing the news diet thing I do find it difficult sometimes as it kind of draws you in with a sort of fascinated horror at how awful humans can be to each other. And news producers play on that side of human nature as they know it makes for good ratings.
Kat |
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Louise
USA
68 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2005 : 17:16:55
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Kat -
I too lived through the 1994 Northridge earthquake. Believe me, it was very stressful, and the first few days after the quake were anxious times. Every aftershock was cause for momentary panic. As I remember, we had one big (6.7) scary quake, followed by (at first) lots of moderate (under 4.0 or so) quakes with a couple of 5.0's thrown in to keep us on our toes. It got so that you'd feel a quake, and say "hmmmm, that was about a 4.5" - sort of like a "rate that quake" game.  Pretty much anything under 5.3 or so produced no damage - just frayed nerves.
Try not to worry too much about your cluster of quakes - the smaller intensity cluster-type quakes are only VERY rarely a precursor to a big quake. At least that's what our Dr. Jones of Cal Tech tells us. She's quite the celebrity around here - after practically every noticeable (above 4.5 or so) quake, she's on TV telling us not to panic.
To answer your question, yes, after a while the fear and anxiety faded and the aftershocks got further and further apart. Plus, I guess having survived a pretty big quake with only a broken chimney and LOTS of broken glass, china, pictures, etc. makes me feel like me and my little house will probably make it through the next one in fairly good shape. I still live in LA. Actually in my opinion, the most stress and anxiety producing element was dealing with my insurance company. I'm still in the midst of a Bad Faith lawsuit against them. Compared to the crap they put me through, the quake wasn't too bad.  |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2005 : 19:04:02
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Hi Tunza.
I too lived through the Northridge quake,as well as whittier Narrows,and Sylmar(we had just moved there in '71 the month before.welcome to California!)
They are very real and very scary....they threaten our "fight or flight" chemicals like nothing I've ever felt...because you can't do either!!!
I think it would be good for you to talk to a friend,or someone and review your fears thoroughly..I'm not sure that THAT one is a "journaler". It,like aging,is something that brings us right to the brink of our vulnerability and mortality.And yet,we'd go mad if we thought about it every waking second.....very sticky,and certainly something to cause a lot of repressed emotion(mostly terror)
Oh yeah,one other note to LOUISE...Northridge was measured at 7.2 by virtually every seismic station around the globe.The rule of thumb with seismology is,the further the station,the less directly affected the instruments,and the more precise the measurement.They use a system not unlike baseline interferometry,which is how they measure stars that are light years distant.
The federal government has FEMA mandates for aid that go through the roof for any quake OVER 7.0.....all the first reports were 7.2-7.4.
The quake was only LATER downgraded,taking the lowest professional reading when the Government realized the scope of the damage,and how much money they would have to shell out.
...ahhh,another thing I'm powerless to change and in a complete rage against...the Government.
..Oh yeah Tunza...Not to downplay the importance of preparedness,but seismologists use that "overdue" word a LOT...otherwise,they have a tough time procuring funds from the sources.They still haven't predicted one accurately to my knowledge.
peace,love and secured book shelves
Baseball65 |
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Tunza
New Zealand
198 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2005 : 12:21:29
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Thanks Louise and Baseball65 for your input.
I've just been sitting here thinking what feels different about my anxiety over earthquakes. I mean why does it feel different to my other fears? Then I realised it's because I don't feel ashamed of it. Since I have been living with anxiety symptoms since I was an 8 year old (and then in the last decade increased/spreading pain on top of that) I have always felt so stupid for fearing things like plane flights, boat trips, sometimes even socialising.
You see my workmates have been admitting to me that they fear earthquakes too and we have been a good support to each other. Whereas I have recently realised just how much I fear talking to our clients on the phone. I really fear them not liking me which comes back to my fear of abandonment. It means I can't focus on the content of the conversation as I am worrying so much about them judging me. I find myself winding up conversations too quickly because I want to run away (fight or flight!) and then I have to contact them again as there's stuff I'm meant to have said in the first conversation that I forgot.
Doing the TMS work has really put the spotlight on my fears and since just reading the books wasn't enough to "cure" me I now see know that I am going to have to work on my fears.
A few years ago before I read about TMS I got really fed up with my anxiety and went and did a tandem skydive. I was so nervous when I rang to book it that I had to hang up and run to the toilet. I felt so high (ha ha, pun) after the jump (at sunset beside a beautiful lake) that I walked on a cloud for months and it really helped me. It did take a lot of energy to fight that fear to do the jump and I don't think I could do that evey few months just to keep the rest of my anxieties at bay.
Actually I think people with anxiety are really brave. They have to face really intense fear. I did a back-packing trip around the world with my boyfriend in 1998 and I had really intense panic attacks on planes, buses, trains etc and even sometimes at night in our tent. I didn't tell him about them as I was ashamed and I think that fear that he would find out about them magnified the panic. I remember by the time we returned to New Zealand I had this weird muscle tic thing all over my body. Any muscle could tic or jerk (from as small as that little flutter you get in your eyelids when you're tired or stressed to as big as the reflex the dr test your knee for healthy reflex). I had a neuro exam but they didn't find anything and when I saw a hypnotherapist who helped me calm the panic attacks down the tics went away. They sometimes come back for a few minutes at a time but not for weeks on end.
Oh yeah - I do remember in my internet travels stopping at a website and coming across someone talking about how they had those tics. Even though I hadn't had them for ages while I read that site and for about an hour afterwards I got the tics back like crazy! That's how suggestible I am!
Kat |
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Shaken not stirred
