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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
 Posted - 12/02/2010 : 03:57:32
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Hey everyone, so I'm new to 'knowing about the tms theory' itself but having done a lot of looking back I've realised that I've had diffrent forms of it since I was 13... the list goes as follows, crohns disease, coeliac disease, ibs, two parasite infections, dry eyes, recurrent cysts in my eyes, and 8 opperations to go with them.... the most recent which I'm dealing with now are chronic lower back ppain, apparently due to a unstable sacroiliac joint, candida and on and on rsi, and also cfs....
I always just thought I was a sick person, now I know its all to do with my emotional state, which to be honest is a mess, death of my brother and the diagnosis of my dad getting ms being the main big issues which I'm currently dealing with, along with parents splitting up and me being taken out of school at 14 due to ill health...
The crohns was gone within 2 years, and was replaced with the coeliac disease which suddenly after 8 years
dissappeared about 3 months before this back pain began... symptom imperative the not eating certain foods was obviously not enough to stop me focusing on the emotional, especially since I started to view the not being able to eat those foods as a good thing as it cut out a lot of the junk food.
So I'm trying to see the back pain as a positive that's its good because it led me to this learning and it can unlock a lot of thibgs, I have to admit its harder to beat than the food allergies, I simply avoided those foods... I didn't know about the tms at that point...
I think my unconsious is fighting back big time with the fatigue, trying to make me too tired to keep up the journalling, the reading, luckily for me I'm a stubborn person... does anyone feel like two people sometimes though, the strong one where your not going to be beaten by this and the other where its like your fighting a battle... I'm up and down like anything... talk about fighting your brain... soooo tiring...
I had an appointment with a tms doctor last week, he has suggested me having the mri I already have booked just to rule out sacroiliitis... but as I'm aware that's also a tms thing? But he would agree with the tms diagnosis... sooo good to hear from a doctor and he had something positive to say rather than 'your broken' ... some dr should come with a health warning ' come see me, I'll charge you a small fortune, then I'll make you ten times worse, and I won't even have to touch you'...
I just wanted to say that although its crumby that's we're all suffering in some way at least we found the answer, and it lies within US, NOT anyone else.... and this website is brilliant...beats facebook hands down lol |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2010 : 07:32:20
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quote:
does anyone feel like two people sometimes though, the strong one where your not going to be beaten by this and the other where its like your fighting a battle... I'm up and down like anything... talk about fighting your brain... soooo tiring...
I think your above statement is a situation we fall into. I've read carefully a number of threads posted by some on here who have had success and banished their pain, and it seems that some of their success lies in trying to relax their brains from the endless cycle of focusing on the pain/problem at hand and to slowly but constructively live their lives again.
I am working on this approach. Like you, the more I read about my malady, and the more I go back in time, the more "illnesses" and pain that I've had were due to TMS = anxiety.
This last time, though, after an MRI, I was told that I had a protruding disc, and in an unlikely spot, so my tension level went off the charts and I developed symptoms that weren't even associated with a disc. Or not likely to be, anyway.
I even came across 60 pages worth of posts on a health board about my aching right side. Those people had test after test and there was never anything conclusive. One smart lady kept posting that she learned from a doctor who had had his license revoked for practicing Western medicine along with folk medicine, that it was "nerves" and anxiety. She practiced relaxation and what do you know, she was cured. I recently had this flare up and I have relaxed into it and pushed along and it is lessening.
Trying too hard and endlessly focusing on journalling and TMS cure procedure will, I think, put a person right into the "perfectionist" or "goodist" camp, which may be the reason for the pain.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste -- on constantly thinking about illness and pain. I just wonder: is there anything we should be aware of at this moment?
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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2010 : 09:16:55
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Back2 it... I completely agree that you can get to hooked on the jounalling and constant re reading of the tms homework, I think you have to take the knowledge is, understand it, fully except that its all in your mind, journal at the times when you feel you have stuff to get out, don't sit there and try and force things to come...
I know that I'm all or nothing typical tms perfectionism so I either tend to focus all my time on it, or not at all... its something I'm definetly working on...
I think the main thing is the personality which got us here, even sub consiously its also the thing that make be somehwat keeping us tmers 'stuck'...
Its a very fine line between living around the pain and living with it intill such time as it doesn't have the effect on you and changes direction...probably but hopefully not into some symptom imperative... and the fight starts again, but I guess that's why I've read that people actually find it laughable and that's probably the best way to throw it away, who wants to stick around to be laughed at?
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2010 : 11:28:43
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Hey tom, indeed there is... he's also met and worked along side dr sarno... he's based in brighton, and his names nicholas straiton...
If you google his name you will find him... sorry don't know how to cut and paste on my phone...
nicstraiton@ntlworld.com
His email if that's any good... he's also an osteopath, a truely lovely man.
Hb |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2010 : 07:44:53
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quote:
I think the main thing is the personality which got us here, even sub consiously its also the thing that make be somehwat keeping us tmers 'stuck'...
Its a very fine line between living around the pain and living with it intill such time as it doesn't have the effect on you and changes direction...
I've read some interesting books lately, which were discussed by others on this forum. One is "Hope and Help for Your Nerves," by Claire Weekes. The other, "The Power of Now".
Both are a bit different from the Sarno gospel, but in the same religion. Neither really addressed physical pain, but if you believe that you are being directed by your mind, you may find a few nuggets in both to help you.
Weekes is like your grandmother, telling you in a no-nosense way why you are anxious (you are anxious, no?) and Tolle (Power of Now) does a good job explaining how to live in the present.
I never live in the present (yet). I'm having glimpses of it, and when I do, I am not thinking of my pain and I don't feel anything. When my thoughts wander from the present I am back to feeling "it".
I try this experiment: I literally draw my consciousness back to the moment at hand and start actually looking at colors and textures and listening to sounds and listening what people say and not just hearing them from behind the background noise of pain. I am then amazed by how little time I am "here" and not "there".
I've also excepted that the "cure" won't be overnight and to look at the emotions associated with my thoughts.
Trying to rid the pain by working on it, I believe, will just perpetuate the thinking and fear of it. It's a fine line and a difficult walk, I guess.
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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2010 : 09:07:07
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Hey back to it.... anxious id say most definetely, I'm anxious I won't get better, I'm anxious that I won't ever deal with the issues in my past which will I believe will be the key to unlocking all this physical problems...
I'm completely with you on not living in the present, I'm so caught up with what my future holds, I.e will I ever be out of pain, can I even live this way for any longer? I think living in the present scares me, I find it so hard to just step back from the situation sometimes, its like my heads going to explode...
Since starting on this tms thing I've been overcome with tiredness... almost like my mind is trying to make me so tired that I'm unable to think tms, to think emotional... but then its also tiring I think constantly thinking of things from your past that upset, or anger you.
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2010 : 09:39:07
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quote:
Originally posted by healingback
...I'm anxious that I won't ever deal with the issues in my past which will I believe will be the key to unlocking all this physical problems...
...but then its also tiring I think constantly thinking of things from your past that upset, or anger you.
Hi HB,
Dr. Sarno says you do NOT have to find "the key" moment in your past to rid yourself of pain! You only need to accept his TMS theory:
The mind can cause pain as a defense mechanism--psychosomatic pain. The pain is benign (but real).
Your past is your past, you're suffering from paralysis by over-analysis. Being in the present is about doing what you want to do NOW, thereby causing a positive distraction from TMS pain. Maybe you are in a state of ambivalence and can't decide what you want to do now. I don't know because I don't know you--do you know what you want to do?
You are tiring out your brain by over-thinking this TMS stuff. You are suffering from over-use of the brain. Give it a rest, the mind gives up before the body.
Keep reading TMS books until you understand the theory and it sinks into your subconscious. Stop thinking about your past, that's not getting you anywhere except into a funk.
Hope this helps, good luck!
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6415
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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Edited by - tennis tom on 12/03/2010 09:46:27 |
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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2010 : 11:28:03
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Hi Tom... brain over load sounds like me... I have a whole load going on.. me and boyfriend have decided to move in with each other and down to brighton. . Its a leap of faith. .. in the hope that I can gain perspective and get on top of things. .. so in between the tms stuff, ingnoring the pain and flat hunting im burning out... either that or the tms is trying to distract me?
Im not sure if I believe I only have to believe. . Surely if I have so much pain and anger towards past if I don't ever deal with those issues then surely there still remain. .. and the other little things will just be top ups in my rage bank? I think that if I believe and accept its tms then the pain will go eventually but shouldn't I deal with the issues rather them laying there threatening to raise up at anytime? |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2010 : 15:35:01
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Hey HB,
I have to agree with TT because I was also in the same spot 12 months ago. Tryin to sort the mess in the mind will make your life suck....period! I thought that I could use my mind to "get" something and this would solve my pain issues. Well it didn't and this lead to frustration and hopelessness which lead to severe depression....the worst ever for me. You don't want to go that path.....trust me!
What I found is the mind resists progress and makes obvious things in regards to TMS almost impossible to comprehend. Another trap I fell into was jumping from process to process in order to get away from the pain. This next bit is very important........you CANNOT push something away from you, you can only attract something else. This may sound like crazy 'crystal people' talk but it's not. If you are trying to avoid pain then you are actually focusing on it.....which is exactly what TMS is about.....focusing on the pain!
Forget the pain and focus on how you operate your mind. LET GO was a massive concept for me. Then I used emotional neutralization technology........aka I just say "f*ck it". Then I worked on my faith, just having faith that things will workout ok and my mind doesn't need to get involved in everything. DON'T listen to the BS in your head, it's just sh*t and stories about stuff in the past. I found there is actually nothing to deal with from the past, they're just stories that I made up about stuff, just drop em! Does that mean you'll never have crappy thoughts about thing and act in stupid ways based on the past NO NO NO!
You just need to be aware of it and let it go....let it pass, don't listen to the rubbish in your head. If it has no power over you then you don't get emotional about it so no need for TMS. :-) What you think about is causing you pain....the only thing filling your rage tank is your thoughts. What about the unconscious stuff? Well that's why I try and sit down quietly everyday and think about what is happening and any stories my mind could be creating, expose em and let em go.
You must take time out daily to calm yourself and work ON yourself as opposed to always being IN yourself....if you know what I mean.
Einstein said, We can't solve the problems we face with the same level of thinking we had when we created them. TMS is a MIND body disorder, it's created by the MIND. You will not be able to use this same mind to heal the disorder you must rise above it. Observe and allow your thoughts to pass, don't buy into them and become emotionally attached.
This is THE ONLY reason I have come back from severe pain and crippling depression. This has been my third pain episode which first started 14 years ago, the other fixes were for only a year or two because I still had faulty thoughts. TMS is dynamic and unless you get to the root cause it will comeback again.
It's a new way of thinking and it makes life pleasant.
Also, look up the Sedona Method, the concept is easy to understand so if you watch a video on that facetubespace thing or whatever you'll be able to use it...init :-)
D
PS. Are there any poms left in th UK at the moment.....seems you're all over here in Aus at the moment stinkin the joint up? :-)
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Edited by - Darko on 12/03/2010 15:53:14 |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2010 : 16:36:00
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quote:
Originally posted by healingback
Hey back to it.... anxious id say most definetely, I'm anxious I won't get better, I'm anxious that I won't ever deal with the issues in my past which will I believe will be the key to unlocking all this physical problems...
I believe that there are some people who are in pain because of past things, but the past is gone. It does not exist anymore. Some people have found relief by working on current stressors and some by just doing the "F-it" therapy, as mentioned by Darko.
quote:
I'm completely with you on not living in the present, I'm so caught up with what my future holds, I.e will I ever be out of pain, can I even live this way for any longer? I think living in the present scares me, I find it so hard to just step back from the situation sometimes, its like my heads going to explode...
Faith does play a part, I believe, in healing, as per Darko, too. And, does not Dr Sarno says that "the body heals"? Maybe not on our schedule and not when we constantly focus on it. "Notice the lilies of the field....", etc. The present is where we -- you and I-- used to live, mostly, before the pain/problems began. The future does not exist, either. Now is all we have. We all know this, but sometimes it has to be driven home to us. I think it's not a matter of "stepping back", but "stepping into" the present. I'm working daily on this, so I'm not teaching or preaching but thinking here.
quote:
Since starting on this tms thing I've been overcome with tiredness... almost like my mind is trying to make me so tired that I'm unable to think tms, to think emotional... but then its also tiring I think constantly thinking of things from your past that upset, or anger you.
The thing about trying to conjure the past is that it is really gone and often those things/people who may figure in the past are, too. I looked into my past with TMS, and it did help me to identify what type of person I am -- a "goodist" and "people pleaser"-- and I've vowed to change aspects that I can. I also have to resolve some practical things in my current life and define a relationship, but it is the constant checking and thinking about being in pain that is repeating a cycle that cannot be broken until, as Darko says, your mind can rise above it. I'm thinking that too.
Another thing that is contributing to the cycle, unfortunately, I think, is returning too often to the forum. It helps and it hurts.
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Edited by - Back2-It on 12/03/2010 16:37:55 |
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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2010 : 22:55:28
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Darko... thanks for you thoughts... especially the working on yourself without being in yourself... I completely get what you mean.. with regards to the past and not going back to try and deal with those issues way back then I always come back to 'im not healing because I never dealt with my brothers death' I look at now and think I never dealt with it because I didn't know how to, and I feel/felt that if I dealt with it, I accepted it and that I was ok with losing him, I feel like the child in me blocked it out and chose to see it as I was just a character in a drama series... it wasn't really happening to me... I never really at it, and if tms is repressed anger then surely I need to? I don't want to bury my head in the sand if that's the reason I keep getting sick, or pain conditions.
So you think in short me focusing on the emotional past, is in fact keeping the pain there? But isn't that what dr sarno says to do? Think emotional, or are you saying think emotional but don't search for the key to breaking this apart just think its an emotional thing not physical, I don't have have to work on my past issues?
And us poms, love your country, there's a few of us left here, but mainly we're being taken over by the pol's lol.
Back2 it, the checking if I'm in pain is a deep conditioning for me, its on my mind as soon as I wake up 'is my back stiff' 'do I. Need to stretch' 'should I stretch' such basic questions but yet they send me into a spin,,,, I know I'm conditioned to expect pain when walking, or standing in one place... and probably your right the 'expecting' is what's keeping the pain there, I never expected pain before but my minds caught on and is like a dog with a bone. Stepping into the present is a new one for me, I always just want to jump to the nxt stage... especially when I don't like the stage I'm in...
With reagrds to coming back to the forum, I think your right if your always thinking, reading and analizing tms, your just growing more of it, there's a line between lesrning, and then going away and putting it into practice, and then reading, taking on everyones views and what worked for them and still rolling around in the dirt...
But still this forum is great for the times when you are stuck, or our getting low about it.... |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2010 : 09:47:09
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Hey healing...
I have been conditioned in the last two years to expect pain too, when standing, walking and sitting. I don't have back pain or stiffness when sleeping. Makes one think.
One poster on here who cured himself of pain said that he had to divorce movement from pain and just move. This kind of goes along with the F-it Therapy, I think.
One tip I got from "Hope and Healing" was to "rise upon waking, shower, have a cup of coffee, turn on the radio or TV" and get the metabolism going. This is not to distract yourself, but, as was advised, to be practical. Especially if you live alone, as I do.
Another tip was to "proceed slowly", because of brain fatigue. How much can any one brain take when run into the ground constantly thinking about pain and cure? When adapted to me, which is anxiety-pain-fear-anxiety and more pain and more fear, it means do what you can and not try to over do it. But do it. It's challenging and I don't always, but I am doing more.
So, as far as stretching, exercise, etc.. I changed my thinking and focus. I decided to do core exercises three times per week, because I am old and flabby, and it is good for me. I'm not looking at it to cure anything. Sarno does his exercises for this reason. I'm also just doing a few light stretches in the morning. I used to force myself through Tai Chi movements and evaluated every movement on the stiffness pain-o-meter. It's checking, pure and simple. Now, it's a few light stretches, takes less than a half minute, and then I'm done. For now. Some day, Tai Chi can come back, but only when I am mentally ready for it and not using it for an end.
I'm also really, really trying to do any job, task and thing with a sense of being there and not lost in "What If" and "Oh, My God" land. The one thing I've mostly stopped doing were doing activities just to check on myself. I ask myself if I would have taken this walk or moved this certain way prior to all this coming on? If the answer is "no", then I don't do it. The checking is a curse that has to end -- for me.
Living and staying in the present is a challenge. I'm working on it.
I'm going to give the forum a bit of a rest, too. It serves both good and bad, but going for something other than encouragement and enlightenment, as you said, is, for me, reaching back into the past. I become pain. I don't want that to be my identity for the rest of my life.
So hang in there. I grew anxious and upset when I was not immediately "cured" after reading the books, journaling and attending classes, but I'm confident I will get there.
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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2010 : 10:38:26
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Back to it, well done for you for sticking with the stretching, I'm not at that point yet, I've read to much 'physical' stuff for my apparent loose joint that I've programmed by my own learning, 'a little knowledge can be a bad thing'
I wish you luck with staying off the forums, I think I will have to cut down, me and obsessive personality... circles...
Feel free to contact me through my email if you want to discuss without getting drawn into the site. |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2010 : 17:55:06
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HB,
I'm going to answer you with some questions and semantics. My father passed away when I was 18 and I had all sorts of issues around it as I didn't keep in touch with him as best I could and denied that he was getting sick. I felt very guilty and sad and really didn't know how to deal with this intense rush of emotion.....none of us are taught how.
So,
What is emotion? Feelings in the body which are created by THOUGHTS
How does one "deal with stuff"?
How do you deal with a past issue?
Now lets say an event happens.....it hurts a great deal and we're scared, confronted and find the feelings too painful. So we avoid feeling the feeling or don't know how to get in touch with the feeling....BUT....cause our minds are BS producing machines we play out the situation in our head over and over and over and over. The event happened once and we make it happen thousands of times in our heads, and what's worse we don't allow/observe the emotions that are generated by the event. Where do we expect that energy to go???? TMS is a result of this cycle. When you have a painful (something) you think about the pain and less about the event. NOW read the above again and replace past event with current event.
You see it doesn't really matter if it's in the past or a current event, if you have CRAP thoughts that generate CRAP emotions that you DON'T allow/observe/acknowledge and let pass ( not bind to/buy into/become and act that emotion) then you WILL have TMS.
Another way to put it.
If you eat too many beans (crap thoughts) you get wind (emotion).....you can accept that and fart all over the place or you can deny you have wind which leads to wind pain (TMS)
If you don't like wind pain then stop holding in the farts.......if you don't like the farts then stop eatin the freakin beans!
Allow the pain of your brother out and cry until your face puffs up and you trip over the bags under your eyes. Get it out and anything else that bothers you and then stop adding to it with crap thoughts.
Watch your thoughts.....what are you thinking about? What emotional drivers from the past shape your thoughts? Insecurity, fear, lack and alike will automatically generate crap thoughts for you. DON'T LISTEN TO IT.....you won't stop the rubbish but it will reduce with time as it has less hold over you. The mind is addicted to negativity and disaster thinking so treat it like an annoying little sister and don't listen to it.
does that make it more clear?
D
Oh and don't focus on the pain
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Edited by - Darko on 12/04/2010 18:10:49 |
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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
Posted - 12/05/2010 : 13:44:20
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Hey darko, so basically your saying I don't need to rake up the past, I need to look back, accept it, shake it off (as I can't change it right?) And move on? I feel like I'm in a circle now of I get pain when walking when walking for instance I mean 20 mins and I'm needing to sit down, and I either go to ways I think my god this is awful, I've been told me joints loose and I feel like my body is crumbling away, or I go tms and think ok back to journalling, reading, on this site etc... and then I think if I get to grips with my emotional stuff, how do I even do that?!
I'm postive to a certain extent when I'm sat down with my pain at low level, but then when I'm out and the pain come back I feel like I've gone back to stage one, I think I'm getting to the point where I don't even want to go out, just so I can remain in a positive state as possible. I have an mri tommorrow, to rule out stuff... I kinda feel that intill I've had the all clear on that I'm having to stall on the tms stuff. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
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everyones got a story, maybe u want to follow mine
