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MikeySama
Netherlands
55 Posts |
 Posted - 11/13/2010 : 17:04:57
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I'm stuck...
I've dealt with TMS succesfully over the years and am painfree. I'm convinced my brain eventually started to realise that physical pain wasn't going to do it anymore. So it started with keeping certain memories, which i don't enjoy, stuck in my mind. The perfect distraction, and I have no doubts in my mind that this is TMS.
I started from scratch to deal with the new TMS symptoms. Reading the books, journalling, etc. It simply hasn't helped...
The symptom started about a month after i graduated and started working... I've gone back to that moment in my mind and thought/wrote about all the things that have happened since, and the amount of pressure that i've put on myself since that time. Which is quite a lot...
Some of the major issues i've identified
- I'm not really happy with my job. I like the work, but I really hate the office hours and the overtime that is often required of me. It's also a fairly high stress job and my need to achieve and strife to do well plays it's part...
- A major change in my life going from being a student for 8 years (college, university). To working fulltime. I find it odd though, because i actually have more free time available now then i had in school.
- I've always wanted to be a writer, but afraid of failing miserably at it has kept me from pursuing it.
- My mom died 5 years ago and recently i've started to realise, how much of my life she's actually missed out on. And i think i might be mad at her for it
- I wanted to live on my own. Which is something i've managed to do by buying my own house. I realise my inner child has some issues with this, because now i have to take care of myself a lot more...
- I hate the fact that nearly everyone i know has a relationship. It's something that has put a lot of pressure on me to find love. This was further triggered by me meeting a girl, that i've madly fallen for - but she's not interested and is also taken. We have become friends, but yeah...
It's the basics again... the strive to be good and wanting to achieve. It's not really working though...
These are all pretty heavy things. I've also realised that i'm just not happy with my life, at all. In fact i'm very unhappy, despite having achieved quite a lot in the past year. I think it all boils down to way too much pressure that i've put on myself...
I'm going back to therapy next month... but i tried that earlier this year and it simply didn't help.
I kinda stopped journalling and reading the divided mind for a about a month now, because i felt a bit of a TMS overload coming on - which hasn't helped in the past either...
I don't know anymore...
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Call me Mike :) |
Edited by - MikeySama on 11/13/2010 17:08:11 |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 11/13/2010 : 17:28:57
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You've made major changes in your life recently. The problem started with a new beginning. A beginning you don't want to make, it seems.
I would say go for what you need to and you will have a lifetime of freedom from symptoms.
Want to be a writer? It's easier now than any time in history. Try it! Publish your own stuff, either on the web or in book form. It's cheap and it's easy. Just do it and don't look back.
If your job is standing in your way, and if you don't have major obligations to others, quit it. Find something with less pressure while you get that writing finished.
Re your mom. My father died when I was young. He was worried that I would not make a go a the biz I was running. It went well for many years, but I was angry (a little) at him, but also my mother who survived. Believe that she can see. Even if you don't believe in a hereafter, her life is everywhere around you.
Love will come when it does. You can't make anybody like you, love you or want to be with you. And love will go when it does too. It happens.
Do what you need to do. You know what it is. That will help.
I'm speaking from much further down the road than you, and I've see what happens to a dream deferred.
Young men dream dreams; step out of the sleep and do it!
Call me Al. |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2010 : 05:40:37
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Hi Mikey,
I was floating around and this post jumped out at me. I started reading it and skipped all your issues and went straight to the end. I'm guessing life is sh*t for you right now....and that's probably because you're focusing on all these negative things. I'v been in the very same position so I'm not being condescending here. You must stop listening to the BS in your head and start looking at the great things in your life.....and they exist even if you can't see them.
Constant negative thoughts = negative emotions you can't handle = TMS
Simple, but not easy!
You might not ever stop the negative thoughts....you just don't have to believe and buy into it. Don't judge or label what you just read.......simply do it and see what happens!!.....what have you got to lose?
D |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2010 : 09:22:57
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quote:
Originally posted by Darko
Constant negative thoughts = negative emotions you can't handle = TMS
Simple, but not easy!
D
Well put Darko! That's one of the best summations of TMS theory that I've seen. The reservoir of rage runs over, resulting in distractive symptoms. Accept the symptom for what it is, a defense mechanism, trying to protect you from overwhelming emotional pain. Carry-on with life, understanding the pain is real but benign. Or, if one is TMS savy, reflect on what emotional issues may be at the root of the symptom and see if you can melt the pain symptom away.
Cheers
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6415
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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Edited by - tennis tom on 11/18/2010 20:51:17 |
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MikeySama
Netherlands
55 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2010 : 10:52:35
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I'm starting therapy in 2 months again(am on the waiting list). The main thing i want to achieve from it is to stop being negative all the time and to stop putting so much pressure on myself. I've been stuck in a negative spiral for the last year now and i need help to get out of it.
Negativity overload or something.
An example:
Positive experience:
I bought a house. A great achievement and i'm happy with it.
My thoughts:
Well... great. But i'm here all alone.
Positive experience:
I became good friends with a girl. Which i've never been able to really do.
My thoughts:
I can't have more with her. Why can't I find someone that loves me.
I always assume the worst. I understand why TMS is kicking up again, because it's protecting me from going completely overboard with the negitivity.
What Darko says is true... i feed TMS with my own negative emotions to the point where my mind can no longer handle it.
Thank you.
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Call me Mike :) |
Edited by - MikeySama on 11/18/2010 10:55:27 |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2010 : 14:29:00
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Just to chime in, writing need not be an either or thing.
If you want to write, then by all means write. Many very fine writers had day jobs, some even keeping them after achieving fame and fortune. Wallace Stevens was an insurance executive and he stayed with that despite finding wide acclaim as a poet.
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2010 : 16:37:26
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| yeah thanks TT....it's some of my better work :-) |
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No relief at all...
