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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
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Erata
63 Posts |
 Posted - 07/09/2010 : 17:12:41
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Okay, I know stress levels in my life have been off the charts in the past, but in the last month, my contentious divorce, after a 20 year marriage, finally was finalized and my ex’s ridiculous law suit against me was dropped. But I can’t sit back and take in the relief or the enormity of the divorce, because I’m in the middle of helping someone I dearly love plan a major, major life event (and I can’t admit I’m pissed about the bad timing of this without hurting others, but really, its terrible timing for me, personally!)
In the last week, the papers on what we’ve worked hard and long to accomplish (saving the family farm) have been signed, I lost a beloved pet, my daughter’s fiancé had an accident, and my other daughter, who lives thousands of miles away, with two small children, called me yesterday to tell me she’s being stalked by someone who is clearly mentally ill. She was hysterical, but I couldn’t react emotionally because I had to try to be clear headed and collected enough to help her calm down and sort out what needs to be done in order to protect herself and her kids.
Where I’m going with this, in addition to the ‘stress test’, is that, except for mourning my pet, I’m unaware of any feelings (like intense fear for my daughter’s and grandchildren’s safety) I have about these events because I generally roll up my sleeves and step up to the plate and deal. Instead of being able to access my feelings, I’ve been in relentless pain. Does this sound familiar? |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2010 : 17:11:24
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WOW Erata! You may be off the TMS chart for life's stress creating events. Your reservoir is probably at the 100 year flood stage. In the old days we had family to support us, but now it's the break-up of the family and far-flung family members that are creating the tensions.
What's amazing is that you are able to write such a coherent and composed post about your situation. Hang in there.
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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Erata
63 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2010 : 09:58:27
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Thank you so much for your acknowledgement and encouragement (and this summer is better than last summer!). The good news is that people have jumped in to help my daughter--she and her family have found another place to live, probably better than where they are now.
You’re so right about family break-ups and distance. I’m estranged from my family of origin but feel like I’m very much the lone adult for my children and that’s a tremendous weight. I think probably being able to compose and write coherently is a large part of the problem for me because I’m dealing with it all intellectually, but not emotionally feeling the impact, and we all know that has to go somewhere!
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HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
