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Taoist Pilgrim
United Kingdom
25 Posts |
 Posted - 05/26/2010 : 05:01:22
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I posted on here last year and some of you kindly offered me some advice on my situation but things haven’t really moved on at all and as I still look in here pretty often I just wanted to see if anyone could help me anymore really.
Over the last 2 years or so I have been suffering from a variety of physical symptoms. I have seen various GP’s during this time and have always been told that there is no obvious physical cause for these symptoms and that the likely explanation for them is stress and/or anxiety and that worrying about them only heightens this stress and anxiety. I have to agree that I do find myself fixating and worrying about these symptoms all day long and this has gone on for a long time now.
I have had a variety of symptoms such as chest pain, internal buzzing and vibrating (seems to be muscular in origin), dizziness, joint pain, sciatic type pain, muscular pain and tension, foot pain, shoulder ache/pain and aching arms etc etc, my eyelids have also been twitching constantly for 2 years. Most symptoms seem to come along and disappear but will then often return. I do have to say that my worry about the symptoms becomes all encompassing and my focus will change between symptoms and as to how serious I think they are.
The latest issue which has been going on for about 5 months is a very weird feeling right thigh and right sided knee pain, this knee pain feels physical as it hurts when I stand up and bear weight on it…it seems that this came along and directly replaced the chest pain I had been having. My right thigh muscle has been feeling very strange and has been like constantly internally vibrating. I also have been experiencing some strange feelings in the side of my neck that seems to travel up to my ears and which I have managed to convince myself is lymph node cancer or something equally drastic! I have to say that all this stuff is more like aching than really painful but I know it is not normal and something weird is going on, the problem is that all I get from GP’s and the neuro I saw is an anxiety brush off and no real answers.
I did have a health scare a few years ago which made me concentrate/worry more about my health and my mother is also very neurotic about her health so I’m wondering if that has contributed to this? I have been reading about TMS and it has rung bells with me but just feel that it would be dangerous for me to give it a 100% belief when if I let this go and it is physical then I’m shafted.
I do have a fair amount of stress going on and I’m sure that worrying about my health 24/7 for the past 2 years must have taken its toll but it is just so hard to see something so physical as a mental problem. I suppose I have to accept that whatever this is it is not a physical illness as I cannot just keep going to the GP to get told the same thing over and over, I know that I have been labelled a crock and stuff by them. When I look back over the last 2 years or so I really cannot think of a day when I have felt symptom free or not concerned about my health in some way.
I suppose I’m just after some opinions from people on here as to the likelihood of all this stuff being TMS or similar. I worry that as this has been going on for over 2 years then it just must be something serious. I suppose like everybody else on here I want (and know I need) to commit to the TMS diagnosis/belief 100% but I’m really struggling with this as all this stuff is just so physical and I’m struggling to let this go and just live with the symptoms as I’m worried that this is now going to be my life. I suppose the core worry is that if I let these symptoms go and do not keep pressing for a diagnosis then it will be too late.
On one level I take some solace from the fact that after all this time with these symptoms I am still alive but then again I cannot help but think every time I get a new symptom then this is some disease progessing. I suppose though if I don’t tackle this correctly then I cannot expect to see or feel any improvement.
Thanks for reading guys.
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FSecondo
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2010 : 08:50:33
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I am not the expert here by any means. I am suffering excruciating back pain that I believe is TMS, and I am moving down the treatment path for TMS. That is my only “credential.”
Reading your post the thing that jumps out at me is the constant fear that something is drastically wrong with you and the ensuing attention that there MUST be something wrong.
If you are truly open to TMS, read Sarno’s book. Read the physiology and psychology of TMS. Questions for you: Do you have the personality traits he mentions: overly conscientious, hostile, competitive, do you (are you even aware) repress emotions, etc.? Are you experiencing pain from the oxygen deprivation where he says you should: neck, shoulders and lower back? From my readings it is not enough to accept TMS as a possible culprit- you must understand how the syndrome works.
It sounds like you did receive a diagnosis and do not want to accept it, or are worried that you were misdiagnosed by doctors. If you saw more than one and they all could not find any physical ailment, I would accept that.
Finally, if you are not experiencing pain- I mean pain that makes you not want to walk, put socks on, etc. – then you are lucky compared to me and others from what they have posted. I would read Sarno’s books and get to a place where you can quit fixating that there has to be something wrong with you.
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2010 : 09:49:38
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quote:
Originally posted by Taoist Pilgrim
I suppose I’m just after some opinions from people on here as to the likelihood of all this stuff being TMS or similar. I worry that as this has been going on for over 2 years then it just must be something serious. I suppose like everybody else on here I want (and know I need) to commit to the TMS diagnosis/belief 100% but I’m really struggling with this as all this stuff is just so physical...
I'm not sure what more you need to get you pointed in the right direction. I'm afraid the rest is up to you. You have seen medical doctors and ruled out any serious disease or structual issues. Even the doctors have stated that stress/anxiety may have something to do with it. Yet, you are unable to let go of the physical explanation. Effectively, you cannot even complete step #1 of TMS treatment.
Perhaps you are unconsciously unwilling to give up the distraction that this belief gives you. Maybe the symptoms have become an ingrained part of your being, a habit that you just cannot afford to give up. What will you do all day if you don't have the symptoms to worry about? Where will your thoughts go if they were not consumed with worrying about these symptoms? You need to answer these questions for yourself.
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I suppose though if I don’t tackle this correctly then I cannot expect to see or feel any improvement.
Exactly. You know what you have to do, yet you are unable to do it. As difficult as it is, you need to try to take a leap of faith and just believe it is TMS and do the work. Read Dr. Sarno's book over and over until the concepts sink in. Do not allow your mind to be consumed with worry. Accept the symptoms and think psychological. All this anxiety comes from someplace. There are emotional issues deep inside you that you are not facing. Spend your time trying to find those issues, rather than worrying about symptoms that medical doctors have told you not to worry about. |
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2010 : 05:25:21
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TP
There is always going to be a doubt because your mind fabricates them so just try to keep it to a minimum for now and see how it goes, that is easy to do you'll have to set the limit and decide where the worrying must stop for a while.
In order to achieve this it would be helpful to take a deep breath when you detect the repetitive thoughts invading your thinking .
i used to do this in the following way: Inhale slowly while consciously focusing on the top of your head and exhale slowly too while focusing on your navel and so on several times while paying close attention to what happens ... and if you can't turn off the thinking then try to think of your breathing only. repeat as often as the repetitive thinking wants to pull you down toward worrying.
For a while I had many of the symptoms you mentioned particularly the ones in chest and the neck and on the side of it and got tested (negative) for lymph nodes cancer. Because I suffered from pure TMS before I was able to treat some of the symptoms but some remained no matter what I did. Altogether it went on for months and months.
As I also tested positive for TB I began to think there was something else going on and actually there was: but it was not what I imagined most of the time it was anxiety on top of TMS! Unfortunately the TMS techniques were not working for the anxiety so I had to resort to different means and only then was I able to make a difference. Much to my surprise I was forced to admit that there were two different issues at stake: TMS and anxiety and those had to be addressed as such and accordingly for best results. Then I started to make progress toward healing again and have been much better since.
Of course while the symptoms were increasing so was the tension and the anxiety. Someone reminded me wisely that although I was not feeling good at all for a long time there was no sign either except for the symptoms changing location that it was getting worse. This observation made a big difference. it was like suddenly there was a way to win over this thing again...
Being more in the present moment helped considerably . Elimination of the tension had the same effect. Trusting yourself is essential.
There is a time for everything a time for hardship one for learning and a time for using what you learned from the hardship. not to mention that you got a good chance to overcome this if you want to .
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Taoist Pilgrim
United Kingdom
25 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2010 : 14:56:00
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Firstly, thank you for taking the time to reply..tis much appreciated.
I have read Sarno's books and also fit the TMS traits but of course there is that doubt that is constantly nagging at me. I'm sure that everybody has to suffer from that to varying degrees but I suppose my obvious hypochondria makes it hard for me.
Yes, I take the point that many people are in far more physical pain than me and I am grateful that I do not suffer hugely in that way but I still feel my life is being destroyed daily by these symptoms and the worry about them.
I agree Dave, I don't really know what more anybody can say to help me to accept the TMS diagnosis, I have been trying for over 2 years with little success so maybe there isn't an easy answer. I keep buying books and searching on forums such as this one for what I suppose is that golden nugget of information or insight that will make everything alright but I know the reality is that this will never happen.
One thing I notice is that my symptoms do seem to shift all over or vanish and return, an example of this is that I have a pain in buttock today which feels like a sciatic type thing...this wasn't there yesterday and it probably won't be there tomorrow. I'm sure that this isn't the pattern you would see with a structural issue. My (hopefully) irrational constant worry is that all my symptoms are due to tumours growing and impinging on all my nerves and causing this stuff. I suppose logic should tell me that if this was happening it would just get worse and worse rather than come and go over such a long period.
Anyway thanks for the replies. I know all this is me reassurance seeking which is totally self defeating with this condition but what can you do hey, we are all human. |
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2010 : 17:13:13
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quote:
Anyway thanks for the replies. I know all this is me reassurance seeking which is totally self defeating with this condition but what can you do hey, we are all human.
Thank you T P You're welcome .
Yes we are all human but still there is a lot YOU can do you can be sure of that at least. Hard doesn't mean impossible and it doesn't have to be that hard either. It may look like a mountain to conquer at first but one step at a time will get you a little bit higher each step you'll take.
What I 'd like to say is keep on posting and reading. because it will help you overcome a few issues as something will come up for sure in the exchange that will click for you someday initiating the recovery process even if you can't believe it today.
There is a difference between being resigned to your fate and accepting it. I do not know if you're aware of it but in the first case it leads to you giving up but when you accept you'll say : Okay that's what it is so what can I do about it? The result will be completely different.
Please don't ignore the part of you that is still looking for an answer, reinforce it, bring it up , it knows what it needs, it is your life wire. Every time your mind is drifting to the dark side picture something nice that you like it doesn't have to be elaborate just focus on it for a while and don't let anything in the moment interfere with it. repeat as often as necessary.
If many of us got out of it so can you you do not have to feel miserable all the time.
There is something that's not working right ? well you 'll fix it at your own rate and little by little you'll be fine.
The opposite of doubt is trust, can you invest in trust again a bit more and not give doubt so much credit? what has doubt done for you?
It seems to me that something is undermining your confidence, do you have an idea of what it could be?
You mention having read a bunch of books already was there one that impressed you more than an other? Maybe there is something else that's in the way you must deal with first before you address the TMS issue. That doesn't mean that you don't have TMS it doesn't mean that you have some kind of terminal illness either or something drastically wrong with you physically. By the way there is something positive doubt can do for you : you can say : I doubt there is anything wrong with me physically!...
You seem focused on what is happening in your body at the expense of what could be happening psychologically (which is a good sign somehow that could confirm the existence of the psychosomatic disorder in which case there is help available believe it consciously or not)
There is hope don't give up.
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Not really moving forward...any help here please.
