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johnnybill45
USA
9 Posts |
 Posted - 04/13/2010 : 09:23:14
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I've had what I figure to be TMS since about 1994. Comes and goes, but never has been 100% gone. I've read all of Sarno's books - twice, and I am convinced my pain is pyschological. However, I can't seem to shake it no matter how hard I try. I read Monte's inspirational newsletters, other books about mind-body issues, but I still can't get rid of this pain for good.
Recently, after moving cinder blocks and dirt all weekend to create a raised bed garden, I had severe back spasms for two days. I really don't believe it was the physical labor, but I did not have spasms like this since 1996. When my back is somewhat OK, I go to the gym and I run about 3 miles, three times a week and do some resistance training. I feel my life and relationships are great. Work is great, wife is great. But I do fall into the "do gooder" category and have anxiety over whatever goals I set for myself. Recently, I started getting hives for the first time in my life. When my back feels fine, I get hives. This happened after reading a post on this website about hives!
I felt reading Sarno's books helped a lot, but there is still something missing. As in Hillbilly's post awhile back, I realize I am a deliberate muscle tenser. Anyone else have a situation similar to mine, i.e. TMS comes and goes for more than 20 years, but is never completely gone even for one day? |
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2010 : 01:06:05
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Hi Johnny
Sorry to hear you're still struggling,I noticed many people read your post but you had no comments.
Since you read Dr Sarno and other self help books and threads and having little information mentioning generalities wouldn't help much here but I just wanted to say that you seem to have some answers built in your post as far as a cause for your symptoms. Obviously there seems to be a mind/body 'faulty' connection and something to work on psychologically as everything is great BUT...
It may be helpful to you if you could develop a bit on the cause of your anxiety so maybe someone could find something to help you with.
It is in the nature of TMS to come and go I mean the intensity or come back as relapse somewhere else in the body sometimes according to your emotional state and other factors involving your nervous system .
As long as the cause is still there to some degree (Let say you haven't been able to figure it all out yet) it is likely that it will not leave you alone because the problem has not been addressed effectively regardless to how long you had pain for. Becoming pain free can be as simple as it can be difficult, as fast as it can take a long time and as easy as it can be hard because it depends of many things. Maybe you can try to dig out why it worked well for you the first time in order to realize what you are sensitive to that allowed the theory to work for you and go from there if you haven't done it already.
The message you're getting from your body here seems to be : there is something in your life you're not paying attention enough to or are not yet aware of so you're just being reminded physically and as typically with TMS it's unconscious so you do not know what it is yet. If you embrace the theory one thing's is obvious there is something there and you better not doubt it. I hope you find what works best for you . |
Edited by - catspine on 04/19/2010 03:04:39 |
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johnnybill45
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2010 : 14:20:39
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Wow! A reply! Thanks for listening. All good advice, thanks for that.
In my opinion, if the cause to my TMS truly lies in the subconscious, it needs to surface to the consicious so I can see it and then deal with it. But it hasn't, or I'm just not admitting that what I see is what's causing it. What I see is that I play in a band and I must practice guitar, and I must practice bass, and I also must maintain good health and go to the gym and not eat the crap typcial of our Western diet. But I never have enough time to perfect my music and I sometimes resent the people that need my time and interfere with my practice. And everytime I turn around, a friend wants to go to lunch and eat Western food, and I can't resist the temptation. I'm not overweight anymore, and I want to keep it that way. But on the other hand, I need these people in my life otherwise I'd lose the love and social life that I also crave. Meanwhile, with still not enough time to practice, I got a keyboard and am learning that as well. Often, I don't sleep enough because I feel so urgent to get up and get off to the gym otherwise I won't do it. Gym has to get done in the morning, it just has to! And I hate going to band practice being unprepared and not have memorized my parts. These might be things causing the TMS, but I can't let any of them go. My wife tells me to relax and don't be such an organized, perfectionist freak - so I'm working on that.
I was not abused or mistreated anymore than your normal American kid, so I don't think I'm harboring issues about that. It's probably that I have too much on my plate and I'm not willing to give anything up. Well, that's not completely true. I did give up the practice of magic (I'm also a magician) and rarely do that anymore. But I can't give up music and exercise. |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2010 : 16:03:04
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quote:
Originally posted by johnnybill45
In my opinion, if the cause to my TMS truly lies in the subconscious, it needs to surface to the consicious so I can see it and then deal with it.
This is not going to happen. The 'unconscious' feelings cannot be felt, nor do they need to be felt in order to recover.
You seem to be on the right track, identifying the pressures you put on yourself in life. This is the source of the unconscious emotions. Unconsciously you are in a rage about all those self-inflicted pressures. As long as you continue to explore those things, the symptoms should slowly fade, as long as you don't pay attention to them and accept they are benign. |
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2010 : 01:06:28
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Hi,
I'm sorry Johnny but it's the wrong time if you want to give up magics ... because if you can't use that you're going to have to work at your problem a bit more but do not despair it will very likely be worth it.
While I'm at it what if you practice your magic while your friends are stuffing in the fries and burgers? If it has worked for many others chances are you'll do well too. Chances are if you cut off the bad food you will not have to exercise so hard either and have more time for keyboard practice too... Sorry I just got carried away those were just a few ideas and I do not know if any of it is feasible for you.
There is a lot going on there and it sounds like an overload. It will be for you to choose but the simplest way out of this is to sort out your priorities, w/o good health nothing else can be well done, and if you cannot have the quantity then go for the quality instead you're better off doing less but better than more and never be pleased with it anyways. It can also apply to family time and sleeping pattern by the way but you know that already.
Pleasing your friends will not get you pain free so you may want to try to take turn about where or what you eat a friend can easily understand that so it will only be half as bad for now until it gets better. Ultimately even if doesn't look that way at first you may be a better influence on their health later on when they will need one.
You said you're not overweight anymore it would be terrible to ruin all these efforts to stay healthy and you know it and probably resent having to do it again if you give in to the "western diet" too often. There is a conflict in your mind right there that's big enough to create a lot of internal tension.
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But on the other hand, I need these people in my life otherwise I'd lose the love and social life that I also crave.
Still you can make a wise decision that will not hurt your friends feelings or ruin your social life,At the moment you have a problem and it's not yet getting better you may want to take care of that first before it takes care of you if you push your luck too far. It kind of like driving: you must slow down a bit when there is a hazard on the road so you can resume your cruising speed later on.
Simply explain to them your need to do certain things for your health at this time they will understand .
Since you don't know what the cause of the tension is for sure then try to proceed by elimination of the suspected causes one at a time , I'm pretty sure you can use your perfectionism for that purpose. We are not even talking about doing away with something immediately here but maybe doing things differently and see what happens while monitoring the results for improvements.
Let us know how it goes you probably still can beat it again while it's still not full blown TMS relapse gone crazy. At any rate if you're missing something you better find what it is before it finds you.
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Just can't figure it out
