| Author |
 Topic  |
|
catspine
USA
239 Posts |
 Posted - 02/23/2010 : 01:28:40
|
Quote from Mala
quote:
Also I think it is easier to be philosophical when you are not in pain.
It depends Mala, if it is easier for you do it that way, go for it because you're still lucky and it would me a mistake not to but for me it was the opposite .
Sometimes it is when there is nothing more to loose than one starts to listen to the obvious. In fact when my back was at its worst and I had no solution in sight that's when I let go thinking: that's it! end of the road !...at best I'll be in a wheel chair for life and at the mercy of everything else and then out of the blue I discovered that there was a different reason I never heard of as the real cause of my problems like repressed emotions and how the brain plays tricks on us and from then on everything was easy and better than it ever was. I never had several options it was black or white so the choice was fast to make and it also made a lot of sense so there was no hesitating.
I never had to dig into my unconscious to find what it was that was repressed I still don't know , just to know that the reason for the pain was psychological was enough to destroy any previous doubt and time did the rest mostly. When the symptom imperative showed up a year later it was much harder to identify them as such they were so well camouflaged under the onset of the TB and a serious staph infection due to a spider bite that the real reason for all the inexplicable symptoms went unnoticed for months and those were proliferating dangerously and wreaking havoc with my body . Only time and observation and questioning my bodily memory made me aware of what was going on and only then was I able to make progress.
I think it is important to know how your body gives way to TMS and recovers from it : how much pressure you can take and when and what the nature of it is and how you manage to improve when you do. what triggers it or not what you read or dream about what you can smell or feel how your vision gets better or worse. What your physical/mental condition is (tired worried, energized, hot, cold, dehydrated, doubtful, faithful, angry relaxed etc) If there is one thing TMS does for you very well is to develop your senses to an extreme level and you must constantly be aware of that because it also uses it to piggyback and start symptoms as well as it can help you detect something 's wrong before it even starts. How you handle the information will determine the outcome.
It is really a condition that if it doesn't break you it will make you stronger. Either way will change your life.
|
Edited by - catspine on 02/23/2010 01:48:56 |
 |
|
|
mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2010 : 20:43:17
|
So I continue to journal. I even wrote a couple of letters to people in my past. The pain is really bad. It seems like the knee and back pain are kind of connected. When one is hurting so is the other. I found it hard to walk yesterday.
I have noticed one thing. Since I have been in Bangkok i have been wearing very flat sandals and i keep feeling not quite right when I walk. I know Sarno says that footwear has nothing to do with it but I think a little bit of a heel on a shoe is more comfortable. Has anyone felt that?
The pain is very bad and gets to me especially at night. I feel like all the ligaments down my left side from my neck to ribs, back, hip, inner thigh, knee, calf are all inflamed & stiff & pulling. When I move I can hear the ligaments in my back snap.
I am leaving today to go back home to HK and just packing the suitcase was an effort in itself. Thank God the flight is only 2 & 1/2 hrs.
A couple of days ago I got a call from a friend who wanted to invite us to The Annual Welsh ball on Saturday. My initial inclination was to say No but then I thought that would be giving in so I accepted. I actually went to buy something nice to wear yesterday but there was no joy in the process. I just wanted to find something and be done whereas not too long ago it would have been a fun thing to do. So I have got myself a new dress & I will wear high heels even if it kills me. Now there's something to look forward to. 
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
Edited by - mala on 02/25/2010 00:05:52 |
|
|
|
catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 02/28/2010 : 00:55:35
|
Mala
I'm thinking that the reason the pain is more intense at night is because that's when nothing else is distracting you like it may be the case during the day and you can focus on the pain again. If your nervous system is overloaded by the pain already the first thing it will do in it's own way is remind you of the issues that have to be dealt with first and you're back top square one until you start your day again.
Again I may be wrong but maybe you can make use of that thought.
Also did you have fear of darkness when you were a kid and forgot about it? A simple test would be to fall asleep with a light on and compare what happens. For more accuracy the test must be repeated a few times.
|
|
|
|
Teddybear
13 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2010 : 02:16:19
|
I posted this some time ago. I think you will find this useful, since both fear and conditioning are your stumbling blocks as well. In my post, I elaborated on several specific and personal situations regarding how I overcame my fear and conditioning patterns successfully. I am looking forward to your reply.
''
Hey dtes87,
Relentlessly playing videogames is exactly what I did, after learning about tms. That, I assure you, contributed to my recovery immensely! I reconditioned myself by facing what a feared most: using my hands for an activity as strenuous and repetitive as gaming.
I urge you to believe me when I say that - after clearing healing back pain in one sitting one evening, approximately a year ago, I grabbed my nintendo ds the very next day, and started playing, intensively, relentlessly and excessively. It was my way of resuming the (physical) activities I had put on hold out of fear - not necessity - of the RSI. Since I could do everything I wanted to – it was but a dull pain, it was the fear that debilitated me - but I chose not to, so as to not aggravate my arms.
I have to admit that I was not fearless from the very beginning. I had conditioned myself to the point where not a minute would pass without me scanning and analyzing everything that could potentially aggravate my RSI. As a matter of fact, I monitored my pain levels constantly. When I assessed my condition however - after spending hours upon hours bombarding enemy tanks, gaining levels successively, scrolling through endless walls of text, and catching the occasional pokémon - I fortunately did not notice any sign of deterioration whatsoever. I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. I was really relieved.
Needless to say, I didn't time my irresponsible gaming behaviour. Moreover, nearly a year passed since then, and the initial novelty has gone. Still, I vividly recall making excessive use of both my computer and my handheld relentlessly the following days and weeks.
Back then, I spent more and more time playing videogames, typing, writing, scrolling and clicking, everything with increasingly less inhibition. And the fear that enveloped me decreased. *In that order.*
10 months ago, I thought with dread of the years to come. As a matter of fact, I pictured myself carrying this burden for the rest of my life. To be honest, I was consumed by fear. In hindsight, it was the prospect of being handicapped by RSI permanently that debilitated me. Not so much the physical pain I felt. It was but a dull pain. However, the fear that it emanated was what truly suffocated me.
Simultaneously, I felt my life had just begun, yet it was already soiled by this sordid disease. I was really depressed and disappointed every single time I woke up in the morning, only to discover that the pain had neither decreased, let alone vanished. Since you are extremely young as well, I am certain that you can relate to my anxiety.
Lately, I haven't really thought about where I once was, and how far I've come.
Thank you, dtest87, for reminding me of how grateful I should be for being pain free.
I hope my story can give you relief, however small, whether you have tms or not.''
Go to Top of Page |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
|
|
Overcoming Fear & conditioning -real egs. please
