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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
 Posted - 01/12/2010 : 10:00:02
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Wow, winnieboo, what you wrote was wonderful..it's helping me too!
Thanx!
Basil,
Please check in with us today and let us know how you are doing..I did two special prayer sessions for you yesterday. People here are really trying hard to help you and you deserve their help! Hope you feel much better soon!
Blessings and hugs,
Karen |
Edited by - Singer_Artist on 01/12/2010 10:02:02 |
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basil
52 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2010 : 13:05:52
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Hi
Thanks for your prayers Karen, really means alot.
Thanks for everyones support, I am battling and have decided to go back to medication for now to try and help me stablize. I have a ex partner with a child on the way to think about. I don't think I have even acknowledged this yet, selfishly I think about my arms instead. I quit cold turkey twice with the anti d. Maybe that is the problem. Getting to a good point and then cutting it off sending me back to hell. This time its therapy and learning to be me while medicating. Understanding my emotions and frustrations. I want to get better so so so so much. As we all do.
I cannot believe I am reacting like this to such a good diagnosis but the pain is amazingly powerful. Pulling me out of the real world into my head. I am surprised I have not been run over yet walking to the hospital everyday. I just sit there saying right pychosomatic, so how do I fix this? I have asked seriously about any help on the NHS. Maybe a refferal or something for therapy. They insist on CBT for my anxiety. But after the last month of reading it appears like people have listed here that anxiety and TMS go hand in hand. I am aware of some of Hillybillys thoughts on this. Want to go back and read his posts on this. I do have terrible health anxiety and I realise this now, the amount of diseases I have read up on. I think if I had never read about RSI I would have moved onto something else.
I have made some progress, the back ache and jaw ache has gone. I am yet to journal again, I am not sure where to start.
My Grandad picked me up this morning and in his usual engineering fashion began problem solving and listing what the evidence is. He is a brilliant man and has given me so much confidence today. He always has a notebook to help him with his problems. Bless my whole family helping me with this and ensuring whatever it takes it will be done.
I read Claire weekes in november. I couldn't apply it then but I will get it again from the library now knowing what anxiety is and what it can cause.
I couldn't be a better candidate for pyschosomatic pain. Childhood abuse, rage, perfectionism, high achiever, obcessions and unhappy inside.
Now I need to find a therapist, maybe after seeing Georgie I could get point in the right direction.
My partner actually said to me she is considering an abortion due to me being consistently like this. I never process this stuff! That just sent me into a panic and onto memememee and my arms. I can't process anything right now! Madness. Its so true how pain removes your from stress of life. Not sure about the repressed stuff but jeez I don't have to deal with anything when I have my own little pychosomatic problem. How selfish of me but so true. This is the reason she left me, she said she came second after the pain. That hurts and so does the arms.
I pleaded for pain medication again today and they refused. They are doing me a favour but just a few hours concious without pain would be a god send right now. I have a appointment for the Ant D's tomorrow. Scared myself ****less googling about them now. Why couldn't I have stayed ignorant like I was in my teens.
I am hanging in there, maybe I do feel some hope tonight.
Much love
Basil
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2010 : 13:37:33
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Hey basil,
No more advice to add, just wishing you all the best.
Hilary N |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2010 : 13:44:47
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YEAH!!!! Basil, you do sound a little better! Good for you, Sweetie! You can do it, you are not alone, I promise that! As for the obsession w/ the body, yikes i relate! I google stuff and drive myself NUTS! Bad idea..don't do that, okay? I know, it's hard not to! I almost died when i was 14, had an operation on my lung while WIDE AWAKE! (due to breathing different when asleep) It left me traumatized and i think brought on hypochondriasis, big time..I always think the worst! BUT...i am working on it and now so are you!
God bless you,
Karen |
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drziggles
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - 01/13/2010 : 15:17:02
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Gotta disagree with Panda when she said that medications are "a crutch". For some people with mood disorders, they are a life saver, and lifelong treatment may be required for some people. If you were doing better on them, speak to your doctor about getting back on them.
good luck. Naturally, you should speak with your physician before making any medical decisions. |
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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
Posted - 01/13/2010 : 15:40:51
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Just seconding drziggles here. There's far too much stigma around depression as it is, and it's a condition that absolutely thrives on guilt and shame. Please, let's not stigmatise anti-depressant medication as well.
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 01/13/2010 : 16:18:47
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I was motivated to post on this after listening to a song called "In fiction" by one of my favorite groups "ISIS".
So I read your posts and I'm glad you're still here expressing your thoughts. Having thoughts of suicide is a big thing with chronic pain sufferers. We all know how it feels, some of us more than others.
I guess I could rant about all the things I think you "should" do or give all my unsolicited advice, but I won't.
Just wish you all the best from staying out of the dark place we can all go to in our minds. It sucks, the whole thing sucks...
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"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans"- John Lennon
"TMS is just as afraid of us succeeding, as it is us failing" - Me |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 01/14/2010 : 07:03:56
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BASIL - check out some spiritual help as well! When I'm going through my version of what you're going through, reading certain spiritual books is a lifesaver. I like Joel Goldsmith books and Eckhart Tolle.
Hang in there, bro!
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 01/16/2010 : 14:48:55
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hi basil,
I started reading this earlier today, and finished just now. I was thinking of writing a long rambling post, but I'd probably just repeat what everyone has already said.
I'll say this, everyone here on this board has been where you are, and many more than once, and perhaps again in the future. So just know that even though you feel like a crazed psycho misfit in your life, on this board you're just average and normal and we like you here.
Perhaps you just need to go out and get wasted for a night . Call gramps and tell em the first round is on you, go watch the playoffs and get a cabride home. 
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2010 : 00:47:14
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Hi Basil
How are you doing these days? |
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koukla
70 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2010 : 17:21:08
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Hi Basil,
I was just reading through this thread and I'm sorry you are in a bad state right now. It seems like you are very overwhelmed with your thoughts and it reminded me of something my mom said to me this morning. I'm struggling with some tendonitis tms stuff in my arms right now and I'm feeling really discouraged, and when I was talking to my mom, she told me about this part of the bible that says to "hold every thought captive." It means that when thoughts come into your head you can stop them. You don't have to dwell on things that happen to come into your mind because you can choose to turn those thoughts out and think about something else instead. I found it to be encouraging for me and I've been practicing it all day today, trying not to keep bad thoughts in my mind until I get all worked up and panicky. There was this book that I also read once which really helped me called "How to Win Over Worry" by John Haggai. It was published something like 50 years ago, but it was good. I said a prayer for you too, so I hope you don't mind. -Carolyn |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2010 : 19:51:58
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| according basil's bio he's up and out of bed and not depressed. So hopefully thats a recent posting, hoping he will post again. It was quite the fist post he put there. Lot of prayers goin to him. |
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Sorry to post this
