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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
 Posted - 01/12/2005 : 10:08:41
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Hi everybody.
Tom1832's post got me to thinking....remember those stupid pictures of an amorphic androgynous human..????....we were supposed to illustrate and quantify our pain???? Numbers and pictures.
I had to fill it out everyday at the chronic pain center,though I did one at virtually every medical facility I was ever treated at.
Ive got a better one: Where are you today ?
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Anger at someone close to you: 2
Fear of finances,bills,income: 9
feeling trapped,or encircled : 6
workplace fear,anger,rage : 10
something you've been avoiding: 9
feeling inadequate,low self esteem: 8
self righteousness,vindication: 9
jealousy,resentment,fear : 5
residual feelings from childhood: 9
here's my pictures:  hurt , left out,  indignant,  can't see a way out, feeling sorry for myself, why is God doing this to me?
if they had asked us these questions and scored them on a 1-10,I'm sure we all would have recovered sooner.....but then again,how honest would we have been.
I woke up terrified this morning.really scared.I keep trying different things to get my career jumpstarted,and none of them are panning out.My financial situation is deteriorating fassssst....I live in Paradise,but can't enjoy it,because I'm so absorbed in my fear.Also,I've been eating like a freakin' pig,as it's my last respite.....which of course just inflames the "poor me" feelings of depression.
However,if I wasn't feeling this terror,I'm sure my autonomic nervous system could cook up something special to keep it out of my head.....I'll take the terror.
P.S. Haven't had physical pain in 2 years...haven't been sick since I joined this forum(physically that is)
peace,love and a whole bag of peanuts roasted in their shell.
Baseball65 |
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Tunza
New Zealand
198 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2005 : 12:17:43
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Hi Baseball65
I feel a bit shy about replying to your post as you seem to have so much insight and I am not always as articulate as I would like.
It's been such a short time since you finished with your job (and awful boss). I know you need the money so you want to sort things out quickly but with your abilities you are bound to sort it out so can you give yourself a couple of days break?
I have had lots of different jobs and I find it so hard not to let the self-doubt creep in each time: will I ever be employed again, maybe this time people will see through the facade (when I get offered a job I always worry that I did too good and "acting" job in the interview and that I will get "found out" as soon as I start the job).
Here's an idea (by the way I'm really worried that you'll hate it but I'm going to say it anyway as I know you're polite enough not to shoot me down publically): Could you look at your last couple of posts and reply to them as if they were written by someone else on the board who you wanted to help out? What would you say? Your support is so invaluable to people here. Maybe you can be lighter on yourself if you approach it like this?
Kat
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Albert
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2005 : 12:52:48
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I don't what the industry you work in is like. Perhaps an old contact can hook you up with a job. Or perhaps your experience might transfer over to another related trade. Some people might find it interesting that you've worked on movie sets. I don't know. Perhaps it's common to meet people who have worked with Hollywood in the LA area.
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2005 : 14:02:14
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Baseball65,
I think you are RIGHT to feel the way you do at this time. If you didn't feel anxious, fearful depressed, etc., then there WOULD be something wrong with you. Give it a few days to all sink in and you should be feeling more emotionaly back to your normal self. Keep exercising and that should make you feel stronger and better.
Good luck! I think you'll land OK, you're a very intellegent and talented guy.
tt |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2005 : 20:25:15
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Hi everybody.
Tunza,Albert and Tom..thanks.
How would I reply to myself: Hmmm...."hey brother...relax...your families healthy,your kids are great and get good grades,your wifes beautiful and supportive,you live in a great place....stuff has always worked out in the past...just relax"
As far as being sought after because of credits and experience......I'm like a Porsche...evrybody ooohs and ahhhs over it,but very few can afford it.
I just did new business cards.I confidently put in the little "info" squares,that I have 20 years experience,references on request,do faux finishing and Marble/woodgrain,do interior and exteriors and custom finishes.....what I DID'NT put was "free estimates" and "affordable"
I never try to underbid anybody....I always tell people if they want to cut corners,they called the wrong guy...I only do Perfect work,and I'm accountable for every square inch,show up on time,and don't start other jobs til I'm through.
I also only put bids in on jobs where I know the person actually wants the work done...if you put "free estimates" you get a lot of ...uhhh...speculators,and drive around ,do a lot of paperwork and get little return.I'm NEVER the lowest bid
Most people would rather "save" a bunch of money,and have a painter who's sloppy,late and running five different jobs(like the one I just left)....boy...all that money you saved!!! The guy came once a week for a month and had your whole house torn apart.
I try to explain this to people,but they always would rather trip on that dollar to save a dime.
I know intuitively things will work out,I just needed to vent my terror.Also,I feel guilty doing anything that Isn't moving towards getting a job....
Thanks for the support..it felt good to know you guys care.
Baseball65 |
Edited by - Baseball65 on 01/12/2005 20:28:35 |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 01/13/2005 : 15:33:27
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Baseball65,
Just so you know, you're not alone. My husband "couldn't wait" to quit his old job and start the new gig as a loan officer. He kept saying to me "I'll be happy when I quit that job and I can focus purely on the loans." Well, guess what? That moment has arrived and he's still not happy.
I think it's Dr. Wayne Dyer who says that if you're always saying "I'll be happy when" you'll never be happy. I gently reminded my husband of this yesterday. So what if he's not getting a bunch of huge leads just yet. They will come and we'll manage to get by until they do. Freaking out isn't going to do him a bit of good. I said "Yeah, but I just thought my boss would call and wish me good luck." I reminded him that his boss, like my parents, didn't have it to give him in the first place so why would they start now. I told him "It's like going to the well looking for water when the well is empty. He will never give you what you want and if you keep hoping he will you'll always come up empty handed."
So, just hang loose and enjoy a few days to take some deep breaths and relax. Tell yourself that everything is going to work out, cuz it always does. Just go with your feelings and don't try to explain them or fight them. The universe always gives us what we need, remember that. You'll be okay.
Good luck!
Laura
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What level are you at Today?
