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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
 Posted - 10/10/2009 : 14:29:41
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They simply have an absence of the kind of thought that makes them feel the emotional pain that we do. These people have effectively learned to process these thoughts.
I think these two sentences rather contradict each other. It's impossible to know what kinds of thoughts other people have. It seems to me very likely that everyone has the occasional negative thought, but some people shake them off better than others.
For me, what works is thinking about those low self-esteem thoughts in the same way I think about my obsessive thoughts. I read this in a book somewhere or other and for some reason it really clicked.
What helped me was believing that everyone has weird thoughts - but some people hook on to them. Two different people might have a triggering thought - lets say, a thought about swerving into the other lane of traffic while driving. Person A thinks, "what a weird thought. Now, what's for dinner?". Person B thinks, "what a weird thought. Where did it come from? What does it mean? Am I suicidal and just didn't realise it? What can I do about this? Am I losing my mind? I must be losing my mind!" The body tenses, the mind reacts to the body tensing by looking for a threat and coming up with an answer (yes, you're suicidal/depressed/going insane). And then the thought just gets bigger and bigger.
I think it's likely that the same applies to thoughts related to "low self-esteem". I suspect that many many people have those "I'm rubbish" thoughts. It's just that some people don't have such sticky brains and don't get hooked into trying to provide evidence to themselve that the thought is accurate or otherwise.
Oh, and the other thing that helps is deep guided relaxation. It breaks the downward spiral of mind thinking, body tensing and mind thinking some more in reaction to the body tensing. I'm amazed at how helpful this is. I think what I'm saying is that the "blips" or involuntary emotional reactions you're talking about are a reaction as much to what's happening in the body as in the mind. Jon Kabat-Zinn has done some very interesting work on on this subject. |
Edited by - Hilary on 10/10/2009 14:37:39 |
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Actually solving psychological problems
