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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
 Posted - 08/31/2009 : 10:20:04
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Hi,
I've been off the boards doing pretty well for quite some time.
Well the issues are back in full force again.
My neck is in pain and the headaches in the back of my head are back daily. I'm also dizzy and the anxiety symptoms are back too. I'm having a really hard time sleeping because I can't get comfortable, this is after I spent a couple of months sleeping quite comfortably.
I have been under a lot of stress. We bought a property the end of last year and we resold it recently. I won't get into it but it was a horribly stressful ordeal, I ended up in tears after fighting on the phone for a week straight to get things straightened out. Well I accepted terms on it with a small down. I just wanted it done and over with and no more stress. Well the buyer has already decided he can't afford it and the first payment is due tomorrow. I'm far away so it's not easy for me to relist it for sale and deal with the whole process again if he doesnt pay and I have to forclose. I had a cash offer the day after I told the guy I'd take payments and I really wanted to take the cash but he said he really wanted it and has so many plans for it I felt for him and sold it to him. NEVER AGAIN.
We've also have an offer in on a house and it's got some issues but nothing we can't deal with hopefully.
Now to top it all off I'm super mad at my parents. Wow, thats another long story. I have a brother that is a deadbeat dad and I don't make secret of the fact it pisses me off. I'm pretty close to the mother of the baby so we do talk often. My parents live in the same town as me although they are not together. The baby is about half an hour away. The brother is in another city, he moved when the baby's mother was pregnant.
So anyway my brother was here for a week,the day he left my mother finally told the baby's mom that he'd been here and that he'd tried to call her and went by twice to see her but she wasn't there. There was never a message left on her phone and she had no clue he was anywhere near. My mother knows the baby's mother is online in the evenings and also has her phone number and could have called or left her a message. She obviously found time to do it the day he has left. Of course she (my mother)makes it sound like he tried so hard to see the baby but the mom was no where to be found so it must be her fault.
I had no idea he was up here because my parents never said a word to me. I found out when the baby's mom told me she had heard from my mother he had been up.
I found out the reason no one told me was because my mother told my dad not to say anything either because I put him (my brother)down. I actually never say anything much to him at all. I hate to say it but I don't like him much. He's not a nice person and I could tell some stories there. My mom actually had to call the police on him when he lived at home and threatened to kill her. Yeah but she's protecting him from any mean words I could say about him being a deadbeat sperm donor.
OH and my mother the last time I talked to her, asked ME to take the items that my brother supposedly left for the baby to the baby's mother. In 7 months hes given these 3 freaking things.
Are you kidding me! Uh no, I will NOT take it there, do it yourself for your precious son. Course I never said it, I likely won't say anything much to her, I never do. She's only seen her granddaughter one time in 7 months, she can do it. OH she did tell the mom she was coming down over the weekend AGAIN and never showed AGAIN. I was down there yesterday. My dad said he didn't want to get in the middle of things between the mom and dad of the baby, I said "It's not about A and B, it's about the baby now."
I have 2 boys and I had another child, a little girl who died at 2 1/2 months old. I only get to see a burial plot if I want to see my daughter. It really pisses me off they don't care more about that little girl.
God I don't even know if I should hit send on this. It sounds crazy but it's my life. The house we have the offer in on is far away from here so there is that positive thing. I'd miss the babies but I've lived away from here before and it felt like a lot of relief.
I feel like the stress is making the symptoms act up again so I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it again. Oh new too is this week I've had two random episodes of severe stomach pain that last a few minutes and I don't know if that's related or not. |
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fibri
Belgium
56 Posts |
Posted - 08/31/2009 : 12:03:43
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It sounds like you are going through a really tough time. That must be hard for you.
What I hear in your post is lots of anger. Maybe you could try to figure out why these particular things make you SO angry... well, of course you can see how they'd make anyone mad, but is there something from the past that is being triggered in all this, that drags up old rage?
Your TMS symptoms make a great distraction from your very real practical problems. Tell your brain that you have enough to worry about right now, and it should leave you in peace and not be so mean!!
Good luck! |
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Erata
63 Posts |
Posted - 08/31/2009 : 15:59:59
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I could really relate to your anger with your brother, his abdication as a parent, your parents' closing rank around him and the resulting estrangement, instead of needed family support.
I also felt very sad reading about your own baby daughter's death and imagine what this must bring up for you and also how painful it must be for you to witness your family of origin's lack of responsibility towards her.
Thank goodness she and her mother have you, but maybe it's also a lot for you to shoulder right now and adding to your physical pain. Not that you should change your relationship with them, and you can't change your family, but perhaps just accept that you have so much going on right now, no wonder you're experiencing symptoms.
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Need to talk
