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Pd245
58 Posts |
 Posted - 08/05/2009 : 16:15:07
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I've posted here before - I have neck tension/bracing and migraine issues which I attribute to TMS, as all tests are normal.
I've made some progress (I have been exercising on a treadmill and doing housework with no ill effects), but I can't seem to get to the bottom of my neck tension, which I guess could also be called bracing. My neck freezes when I use the computer or my iPhone. The freezing creates irritation and heat in my neck, visual disturbances and then a migraine in the back of my head after using the device for less than 10 minutes. If I stay away from all devices for a few weeks I can get back on and tolerate the computer longer, but the more I use it, the less time it takes to create the headache.
I've been to cognitive/behavioral therapy for this, which has been helpful in identifying certain emotions that might set off the freezing - such as fear, inner conflict, and frustration. It does seem that the freezing is tied to an emotion that is NOT repressed. If I dig down deep, I can identify thoughts I have before the freezing, like "This will create a headache, I should get off of it right now," "I can't stand listening to this person drone on anymore, I'm sick of being polite" "I can't understand what you're saying, this is too hard, stop talking right now," "I'm scared this will cause a headache, I'll lose control," things like that.
This information is great to have, but having it doesn't seem to help the pain and bracing. I've challenged the thoughts, journalled and dealt with lots of emotions and childhood issues, yelled at my brain, talked gently to my brain, reasoned with it, done deep breathing, felt the fear and let it pass through me (it doesn't pass), tried visualizations, hypnosis, posture work, relaxation at the computer, etc. I'm frustrated and just putting this out there hoping that someone has insight or can relate. In terms of the computer, I did have a job that was stressful, and I know I was always tense and stiff behind the computer, so perhaps this is a conditioned response? I really love being on the computer, not sure why it would become some generalized fear response.
I'm not really sure why I was able to get to the point where housework didn't create muscle spasms. I just really wanted to do it and stuck with it. THe same practice hasn't worked with the computer, because when I say To hell with it, I want to be on the computer and I'm going to keep going, I pay for it for days.
Thanks for any help. I'm ready to get back to work. |
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anniess
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - 08/05/2009 : 17:59:11
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Try not being impressed by your symptoms. Just say, "I am not impressed," and repeat as necessary. Good luck!
ann shaffer |
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Pd245
58 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2009 : 13:54:29
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Thank you, anniess, it's very kind of you to reply!
I agree with that - to not take them seriously. I have gotten to the point where I'll laugh at the symptoms and say to myself, This is ridiculous! I'll say to the symptoms, You're reacting to nothing, you're silly! This is silly, and I'll continue to do what I'm doing.
But the symptoms persist. The headache comes and this circle has been going on for about two years.
It's endlessly frustrating and I can't understand what's going on. |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2009 : 14:37:49
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Pd, so sorry to hear you are having this problem! I sure know how FRUSTRATING it can be, to have tried a **great many things**, which haven't worked !!!
Not sure if this will help or not, but just a suggestion for the Berceli Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). There has been quite a discussion about it on another thread:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5666
Not saying that your bracing/ migraine issues are related to trauma, but the TRE is also good for stress..
Hope that you find something that works! I have definitely felt that "endlessly frustrating" feeling in the past, and it sure is a relief when something finally works. Berceli's TRE would definitely be in that something-that-finally-worked category for me, so just thought I'd mention it, if you hadn't heard about it / considered it / tried it ....
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crk
124 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2009 : 16:00:44
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quote:
Originally posted by Pd245
It does seem that the freezing is tied to an emotion that is NOT repressed. If I dig down deep, I can identify thoughts I have before the freezing, like "This will create a headache, I should get off of it right now," "I can't stand listening to this person drone on anymore, I'm sick of being polite" "I can't understand what you're saying, this is too hard, stop talking right now," "I'm scared this will cause a headache, I'll lose control," things like that.
Hi Pd,
I think it's very tricky for those of us who have accepted the TMS diagnosis and had *some* success with pain elimination to "finish it off" so to speak.
You are very perceptive to see where there are emotions that are not being repressed. I have had that experience too. "I see them, I know them - now why am I not well?"
Here is what worked for me, and I've been doing great these days. I hope it helps.
Step 1) A flare up of pain is ALWAYS a signal that I am thinking negatively about my Self, criticizing my Self, lacking confidence in my Self, and hating some part of my Self. Even when it seems like the pain comes from a physical habit (your getting on the phone reminds me), it is a mental thinking pattern that causes the pain. In this way, TMS can be thought of as a gift; it is a little alarm bell of poor mental health. I accept that I don't want to be rid of the pain - I want to be a mentally healthy person and know that the pain is gone for good because I don't need it anymore.
Step 2) Flood my mind every day (many times per day at first) with positive messages about myself. Make sure all are stated in the positive (what I am, not what I'm not). (There is another thread on positive self talk.) This step should feel good. If my "B.S. Meter" goes off ("that's not true!"), ignore it. The negative self talk certainly isn't true, so this is at least a balance to it. Moreover, it is true, because I choose the messages I want to say. I'm not going to say, "I am a brilliant brain surgeon." --yes, that would be false. I AM going to say, "I am stronger than any problem I face. I am in control of my life and I never give that control to others. I am intelligent, kind, and full of energy and determination..." Etc.
I hope this helps! Thanks for sharing your story. |
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Neck bracing
