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 female problems - tms???
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Laura

USA
655 Posts

Posted - 01/05/2005 :  18:00:11  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'm wondering if anyone knows if female problems can be part of the whole TMS scenario. On 12-26-04, while driving to visit my dysfunctional family in Texas, my period began. It is now day 10 of this neverending menstrual cycle and I'm starting to freak out. I know I'm 45 and perimenopausal, but I have never experienced this in my life. It is the period that just won't quit. I went to Barnes and Noble today to try and find a book to read that would give me some insight as to whether or not this is a normal problem. The first book I picked up was by Christianne Northrup and I think it's called Women's Wisdom Women's Bodies or something like that. I've heard about her books before and have seen her on talk shows, etc. but had never read her books. When I looked up "irregular menstrual cycles" I could not believe what I read. She said something to the effect that she's never known of a woman yet with excessive bleeding or an irregular menstrual cycle that wasn't experiencing stress, specifically stress associated with "family." I couldn't believe what I read. Here I was, driving to Texas to see my lovely family, feeling very apprehensive about what was going to transpire and my period starts. Now, it won't stop. My trip to Texas was emotionally draining, considering how upset I am with my parents over the behavior they displayed.

Has anyone experienced anything like I'm talking about? I'm trying to stay away from going to a doctor but if this thing keeps going like this I think I'll be forced to go get it checked out. It's a shame I can't call my mother and ask her if she experienced anything like this in her 40's. Unfortunately, I do not want to have any conversations with her at this point because I'm still fuming mad at her.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Laura

Susie

USA
319 Posts

Posted - 01/05/2005 :  20:20:43  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Laura-Exact thing happened to me about 9 years ago at age 47. I was perimenapausal anyway. A very momentously stressful thing happened and the irreguarity began about a week later. I had a period about 3 weeks a month. Drove me out of my mind. I finally went to the gyno after about 6 months. She said this was fairly common. I went on estrogen and became regular immediately. My mother suffered the same problem when my father died. She was 48. I believed at the time that stress caused a speed up of a hormonal imbalance that was inevitable anyway. I knew nothing about tms and my stress continued as I took the hormones but they were helpful. This was the beginning of what I now know to be tms equivalent symptoms. The irregularity quit but was replaced by alot of other stuff. I don't know if Sarno can help you with this but if he can't, a little estrogen will.
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Laura

USA
655 Posts

Posted - 01/05/2005 :  20:36:10  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks, Susie. I'm freaking myself out reading about ovarian cysts, ovarian cancer, and all sorts of nasty stuff. I always get myself into trouble by doing that.

I'm glad to know I'm not alone and hopefully it will just go away on it's own. I will see my gyno this week and talk to her about the estrogen.

Again, thanks!

Laura
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mala

Hong Kong
774 Posts

Posted - 01/06/2005 :  04:23:38  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Laura,

Unfortunately, I do not want to have any conversations with her at this point because I'm still fuming mad at her

Why don't you follow up on this issue, somehow address it and see if that stops your period. The 'still' fuming mad may somehow be connected to you 'still' having your period.



Good Luck & Good Health
Mala
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Kajsa

Denmark
144 Posts

Posted - 01/06/2005 :  04:43:40  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You must read the book "The words to say it" by the French novelist Marie Cardinal!
It is an autobiography about her life and her struggle with a very possessive mother.
In the beginning of the book she has a lot of psychosomatic problems - one of them is terrible long periods .
She starts a psychoanalyse and manage to heal her self. But not overnight of course!
It is a good novel and in Europe Marie Cardinal is a well known and highly respected author.
I highly recommend it to everyone who deals with TMS (and deal with mothers as well).

Kajsa

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holly

USA
243 Posts

Posted - 01/06/2005 :  06:18:49  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am about your age. (47) After being very regular all my life at about 45 I remember getting periods so heavy that I wondered if I was going to be alive at the end of the day after loosing that much blood. I think it is normal when your pre-menopausal to have things happen like that. Add some TMS stress and it is a recipe for what happened to you. I definitly wouldn't worry too much. Just go to your gyno and get it checked out. I am sure they will tell you they see all sorts of similar things from women our age. I am sure you will be A-OK!
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Laura

USA
655 Posts

Posted - 01/06/2005 :  16:52:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thank you, all, for the input. Mala, you probably are right. I'm mad at both of my parents right now. The problem is, whenever I express to them my feelings and how they have upset or hurt me, it becomes a big family feud and they stop talking to me. This in turn creates more stress. A couple years ago, right at the time my vertigo started, they stopped talking to me and wouldn't speak to me for over a year. I finally called them and tried to make peace but it wasn't easy. After reading your words, it dawned on me that I can't let this eat me up and that I really probably should express to them, in as nice a way as possible, how I'm feeling. I shared something with them about a month ago and asked them not to tell anyone. I probably told them three or four times that the thing I told them was to go no further than the three of us. While in Dallas for the holidays, I found out my nephew told me daughters what I had shared with my parents and broken that confidence. The thing I had shared with them is that my nearly 16 year old daughter had been at a friend's house and when the parents left her friend's big sister offered to get alcohol for them to try. My daughter had some beer and tried a wine cooler. Also, someone brought "weed" which my daughter took one hit of. My daughter is basically a really good kid; honor roll, respectful, sweet. She is everything you could ask for in a daughter. She made a mistake; she caved to peer pressure and she knows it was wrong. I'm over it. At the time it happened, though, I had no one to turn to (didn't feel comfortable telling ANY of my friends) so I called my Mom, in tears. Now that trust is broken.

Anyway, I'm sure you're right. I also think I may have an ovarian cyst. The cramping and bleeding are starting to really annoy me so I'm probably going to see this wonderful female gynecologist who I have heard good things about.

Thank you to everyone for your input. I will look for the book, Kajsa. I'm feeling very emotional today and have been crying quite a bit. Wacked out hormones are not a good time!

Laura
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Laura

USA
655 Posts

Posted - 01/07/2005 :  10:45:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Just wanted to share something. Yesterday, I sat down for about an hour and composed a letter to my parents (typewritten, five pages), wherein I expressed to them my feelings. Last night, my cramps were at an all time worst, and this morning I'm feeling better. I'm not even sure if I'm going to send that letter because past history dictates it will cause me even more grief, but just venting all the anger and feelings really seemed to help. They will NEVER change, but I guess I can change how I react to them. Coincidentally, I used some natural hormone cream yesterday, in the hopes of regulating things. What was the magic bullet? Who knows, but I tend to think the venting of anger really helped me immensely.

Peace -

Laura
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tennis tom

USA
4749 Posts

Posted - 01/07/2005 :  14:14:39  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Probably better off not sending the letter Laura, it will just fan the flames. Next time you see them it will only increase the resentments.

Do one of those symbolic rituals, where you burn the letter, just don't burn down the house.
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Laura

USA
655 Posts

Posted - 01/07/2005 :  15:44:31  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks, Tom. I didn't send it. It was extremely therapeutic writing it and I've gone back and forth about sending it. I know it will just "fan the flames" and nothing will change from it, just the size of the knot in my stomach!

Now, where did I put those matches...
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pault

USA
169 Posts

Posted - 01/08/2005 :  06:31:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Nothing can stir up emotions like family(love/hate)I'm Italian,I know.Even the slightest negative remark can be taken to the grave.Family feeling generate huge amounts of rage(tms)It is very difficult to love parents who do and say things to disrupt our lives,as we cannot vent our anger to them or it will result in more fury.Try to discuss it with a fiend or someone who understands,to unload some of the frustration and leave it at that.Just try to treat them in a manner you would treat a child(who you can't trust)Love them for what they are and try to laugh it off.Good Luck to you.
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tennis tom

USA
4749 Posts

Posted - 01/08/2005 :  07:17:56  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Laura,

Take a look at the article in the link suggested by Tunza. It is relevent to your letter writing.

[quote]Originally posted by Tunza

I just read this interesting article which may motivate some who haven't tried journaling to start:

http://www.longnaturalhealth.com/library2.asp?A=65



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Laura

USA
655 Posts

Posted - 01/08/2005 :  18:20:39  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks, Paul and Tom. For what it's worth, I have burned the letter and instead I spoke directly to my parents this morning when they called. They were wondering why they hadn't heard from me all week (gee, I wonder). Since their phone call caught me completely off guard I told them I was just waking up and would need to call them back. When I called them and my father asked why I hadn't called (guess they don't know the phone works two ways and not just one) I told him I was upset with them and couldn't bring myself to call them. He asked why and I told him "I don't understand why when I tell you something in confidence you run and tell other family members." He and my mother both tried to explain things and for the time being things are smoothed over. I didn't even bother getting into all the other bulls--- that had gone on because I know it's pointless. They are who they are and that will NEVER change no matter what I say or do.

Anyway, the letter writing (and burning) and the telephone conversation really helped me a lot. I haven't felt any of my usual TMS (dizziness) today and my female problem appears to be gone. Yeah!!!

Thanks again!

Laura
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