hi! I started a new job on Monday and TMS symptoms came back big time. I don't know how to take care of myself on a job. I moved to NYC area and, after having been on SSDI for almost 9 years, I am now going to make enough money in 24 hours a week to make it worth going off of ssdi.
But the pain is back. I worked pretty straight thru my first day without taking a break and this is my problem. There are no places to get up and stretch that I discovered the first day. So maybe I'll need to ask and that is scary but it's really bad right now. Not as bad as the past but i was very harmed as a child psychologically around work and have fought work tooth and nail ever since.
I'm a person who naturally likes to have fun, but as I grew up in a family with a strong farming tradition, fun was not very much on the agenda.
My mother still lists details about all the things she does on her days off, as if this proves her goodness and while I feel in a good place with her, I know there is huge rage in me when it comes to work and even activity.
TMS made activity impossible for me. But now I'm faced with the challenge to work 24 hours a week and I'm being paid almost 50,000 and my boss said mon if I do higher level tasks in the 24 hours he'll pay me more.
so of course I need to go for it. The first day I felt good, but went to a meditation for an hour afterwards then walked for 2 hours in heals around Manhattan. Returning home I started to fade and have been in a strange place since.
I know now that maybe for the first few weeks just go to work and back and not much more on the days I work. I can have fun on the other four nights.
This new job would sure beat watching every dollar, although I only have medicare and I need an MRI (as I had brain cancer) annually and an MRA (I was diagnosed with two brain aneurysms in June - good news, they are small and thick walled so hopefully not a problem) and probably some form of pychological therapy so that's at least 200 per month for copays.
Just writing out how I feel is releasing some of the tension, so I'm sorry if I added too many financial details but I must say that since TMS info and going through this spirituality process my life has gone from living nightmare to living in the NYC area with two great roommates, weight loss! (yeah) Yoga in my life and so much more.
But the job has thrown me a real curve ball so any advice on becoming newly employed would be much appreciated!
thanks,
H
|
starting work
Posted - 12/10/2008 : 10:31:42
