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fadoozle
33 Posts |
Posted - 11/30/2008 : 21:14:57
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Hello,
I am new to the forum but not to TMS -- I had read The Mindbody Prescription several years ago for what I thought was mild carpal tunnel. It went away on its own but now I am on to bigger problems.
I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at age 19 (I'm now 38). It has been on and off with long periods of remission and almost always flares up during times of stress. I've usually kicked it with azulfidine, an NSAID, but I'm in the midst of a flare that has gone one for almost two months.
Things really started to fall apart for me physically when I found out that one of my best friends has ovarian cancer. Then came the anxiety and, for the first time in my life, symptoms of acid reflux--started with loss of appetite (anxiety-related, to be sure) and nausea, progressed to burping and then finally a need to spit acid out of my mouth in the morning. I took Prilosec with no relief, then switched to Nexium a few days ago and am better, though not symptom-free. Did I mention tinnitus that started around the same time? It seems like TMS city.
I have had some major breakthroughs with TMS, thinking back on all the symptoms I've struggled with throughout my life (psoraisis, anxiety, depression, the colitis, etc.) and how they have always served as great distractions from things and feelings I didn't want to deal with. I am starting to feel free from the anxiety and depression but am afraid to drop the medications.
I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement around success with overcoming GI issues and advice about how to proceed. Is it best to be bold and not look back? Gradually taper? I keep thinking to myself, "repudiate the diagnosis". Does this mean I should just completely ignore symptoms and throw caution to the wind (e.g., drink my usual cup or two of coffee, eat late at night if I feel like it, just as I did before the reflux symptoms started)?
Thanks for any insight. |
Edited by - fadoozle on 11/30/2008 21:30:42 |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 10:44:58
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Hi fadoozle. You are right to be suspicious of intestinal issues. TMS docs will absolutely agree such are mind/body disorders or TMS equivalents. I believe more are seeing this as a stress issue. Have you processed any of these feelings--the ones you didn't want to deal with up till now? Journaling, recommended by many nowadays, not just Dr. Sarno, I believe is a way to get emotions out and "deal" with the hurt, anger, etc. Simply acknowledging pain as TMS does not process the feeling sufficiently and sets us up for another manifestion of TMS. I don't want to set myself up for that! Yes journaling takes time and we have to force ourselves to do it sometimes, but we then reap the benefits. Freedom!
Friend had tinnitus; journaled and addressed some things. Tinnitus gone.
Best wishes,
-L
PS sorry to hear about your friend. Dr. Christiane Northrup has good info on ovaries/cysts/uterus/etc. |
Edited by - mizlorinj on 12/01/2008 10:50:15 |
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hottm8oh
USA
141 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 11:03:23
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I've had terrible IBS since I was 19. I have recently been diagnosed with a "real" intestinal issue, so I strongly recommend seeing a gastro to rule out something structural.
Ironically, since being diagnosed with the "real" problem, I'm having all kinds of neurological-type issues and chronic abdominal pain. I'm waiting to have further tests done, but the wait is going to send my anxiety through the roof. |
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fadoozle
33 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 12:21:27
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Hi all, L, thanks for the encouraging words. As for it being structural--I don't know how much more structural I can get than ulcerative colitis, but I read in The MindBody Prescription that this is considered "extreme" TMS. My gastro is the one who prescribed the Nexium. She said she will do an upper GI scope when I have a colonoscopy later this month (ironically, I was the one who wanted the colonoscopy after hearing about my friend's cancer, and now I dread it because of the prep involved. Doing the prep with acid reflux just seems like complete torture to me. And now I am not so much concerned about dying myself as living with this horrid reflux for the rest of my life in addition to the colitis).
After a day of feeling better, I'm back to no appetite, anxiety, teariness, overwhelm. I have two beautiful children, ages 5 and 2, and I feel like I cannot be in the moment with them because I'm obsessed with my health, and I cannot get any work done because I feel like I can't hold up my own impossibly high standards anymore.
Whine, whine, whine. I guess my frustration is not being able to sustain any positive steps for longer than a day or so. Would love to hear from folks who are making the TMS diagnosis work for them and their healing and have overcome the intestinal manifestations of TMS.
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 12/01/2008 : 12:48:01
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ugh, the term "real". My herniated disc is certainly a "real" structural problem, but need I go down that route? It was not the cause of my pain. "Real" things can certainly be TMS (mind/body) in origin and healed when treated as such. I have found much info in mind/body books and journals.
Again, fadoozle, journaling is the best suggestion. What you are doing with your stressors is of paramount importance. Whom are you trying to please with your high standards? Are you being reasonable? I'd definitely be writing about this stuff. Are you having some time for fun? (pleasure rebalances us) Taking time for your needs? (I know, tough with little ones but they're so cute and so much fun too!) You hold the key to your own healing!
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Edited by - mizlorinj on 12/01/2008 13:04:36 |
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fadoozle
33 Posts |
Posted - 12/05/2008 : 16:10:58
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Hello again,
Does anyone have contact info for whitris? He seems to have cured himself of GERD and I wanted to contact him to see if he had any pointers. Yesterday I felt like I had a breakthrough and was feeling so much better--today my stomach is in knots, my tongue is coated, and I feel awful. I got cocky and drank coffee--maybe that's what's causing it.
Does anyone ever feel like it's hard to sustain the fight with your brain? I have had breakthroughs like this before with affirmations and then I think I scare myself back into the old, familiar pattern because it's unfamiliar to feel free of anxiety and depression. I have experienced it but it's hard to sustain.
Looking for some support and encouragement not to panic, check symptoms online, etc.
Thanks! |
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hottm8oh
USA
141 Posts |
Posted - 12/08/2008 : 10:35:25
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quote: Originally posted by fadoozle
Does anyone ever feel like it's hard to sustain the fight with your brain? I have had breakthroughs like this before with affirmations and then I think I scare myself back into the old, familiar pattern because it's unfamiliar to feel free of anxiety and depression. I have experienced it but it's hard to sustain.
Absolutely. Sometimes I'll have a setback and I start to panic. It can be hard to stay optimistic when you're in the middle of a pain cycle. My DH made me say "Everything will be OK" last night when I was in the middle of an emotional breakdown. I realized after he made me say it that I don't really believe it, and my bad attitude isn't helping things. The best thing I can do is try to go on with my life as much as possible. I don't want my symptoms to stop me from doing the things I need to/want to do. |
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fadoozle
33 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2008 : 14:27:41
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Ok, so I have been having some success with the following strategy:
shouting silently to my unconscious, telling it that I will not tolerate this BS (the reflux), to stop it, etc. going about my day as if everything is completely fine eating and drinking pretty much what I want, when I want saying affirmations in my head (all is well, the reflux is gone, etc.)
Today I am feeling a setback--acid in my mouth, etc. So my question is, with TMS equivalents (not TMS pain), can I try to approach it exactly the same? Do people with equivalents have luck with this? How do you keep going when you feel yourself backsliding?
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