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davidg
5 Posts |
 Posted - 12/15/2004 : 18:24:01
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This morning I posted a therapeutic rejoinder on my previous "I am not feeble. I am strong" thread. After writing, I knew that I hit my TMS monster on the head. I was sure I scored a lethal blow. I pinpointed the two incidents that caused my back to self-destruct and leave me a pathetic, bed-ridden man.
Nevertheless I suffered throughout the day. The pain got worse as the day wore on. I told myself that I must have really pissed off my subconscious because I was in agony. At one point when I got up out of my seat, I even screamed out in pain. I am a junior high teacher so you can imagine how much it must have hurt to show my vulnerability to the students.
I dusted myself off and asked the kids how many of their parents have back pain and more than 75% of the hands went up(fascinating). I explained that I was suffering right now just like their parents. I made a joke and got back to the lesson.
I had to leave school early today because the pain wouldn't stop. I hobbled to my car and slowly climbed in. Every bump made me wince. When I got home, it took five minutes to get out the car. I called my mom and we discussed TMS (she suffers with dizziness - her TMS equivalent. BTW she is GinaG on the forum) I believe this was also instrumental in my relief.
Well a few hours ago the tension and pain went away. Not 100%. I still can't lift weights yet, but I am ecstatic that I have defeated the monster. I expect to be lifting weights in a few days.
I feel like celebrating. I have my life back. I can finally walk with a normal gait. I can get up and down from chairs without the pain.
Only one problem. I need to overcome the fear of relapse now. I jumped the first hurdle, now the second.......
Fellow sufferers, it is essential to pinpoint the exact problem or problems that is causing your episode. The problems do not need resolution, just acknowledgement. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2004 : 19:56:31
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Dear davidg,
I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling great. Keep hitting that monster on the head till it can no longer rear its ugly head. Well done
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2004 : 07:38:43
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quote:
Originally posted by davidg
This morning I posted a therapeutic rejoinder on my previous "I am not feeble. I am strong" thread. After writing, I knew that I hit my TMS monster on the head. I was sure I scored a lethal blow. I pinpointed the two incidents that caused my back to self-destruct and leave me a pathetic, bed-ridden man.
Nevertheless I suffered throughout the day...
I have found that the symptoms take 24-48 hours to subside, and sometimes they get worse before they get better. There is no magic "off" switch.
quote:
Fellow sufferers, it is essential to pinpoint the exact problem or problems that is causing your episode. The problems do not need resolution, just acknowledgement.
First of all, you cannot pinpoint the exact problem. There is absolutely no way to know what is going on inside your unconscious. The resivoir of rage is filled by many different factors. It is not any one incident that leads to TMS symptoms; it is the overflow of the resivoir.
Also, I suggest you stop using the word "suffer". As painful as they are, think of TMS symptoms as a benign signal that we are not acknowledging some feelings. The pain is a reminder to turn our thoughts towards our emotions. |
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davidg
5 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2004 : 09:47:52
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When I say "pinpoint the problem" that is what I mean. Two incidents happened that "broke my back." I initially pushed the problems away by trying to sleep them off. Like magic, the next morning I had terrible back pain. I believe my mind was trying to keep me from remembering or resolving them.
Perhaps the two problems "overflowed my reservoir", but acknowledging them did help to ease the pain.
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polly
127 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2004 : 10:07:38
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David,
I woke up this morning without pain for the first time in a very, very long time. The first thought I had was that it's working. This is such an amazing feeling.
I'm not going near wondering how long this will last. I'm reveling in it for now. I DO know that I can do this and that's all that's important to me.
I have a problem that even Sarno thinks I need more surgery on. The plastic in my knee replacements are broken. If this is how I can feel, I don't have to let anyone cut me anymore.
What a great day. I'm glad to join you in this topic.
Polly |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2004 : 19:59:37
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| That's wonderful Polly! First off it's great to experience a moment without pain, just to feel that feeling. Secondly, that you were able to bring it about through your own will. It empowers you to go forward, no longer fearing the pain, breaking through the pain barrier. Hope you have many more pain free times. |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2004 : 10:34:04
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Polly, thats such great news. Maybe you won't need the surgery after all. If you can be painfree today, why not tomorrow? |
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polly
127 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2004 : 10:35:40
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Thank you, Tom. Coming back to this board has been a tremendous help. And, you are a great inspiration.
My consult with the doctor got pushed back to Jan. 7th. I think that's a great thing. I'm using the time well. I've decided that there's no way I'll do hip surgery, I was never going to do back surgery, and I might be able to live with the knee problem the way it is. If it can't get worse, maybe I can handle the problem. I'm so afraid of ever being cut again.
It's amazing what your mind does when you have a time-out with the pain. I just keep telling myself that I can do this and I guess I'm starting to believe it. |
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I feel great!!!
