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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
 Posted - 04/27/2008 : 23:22:37
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Edited by - la_kevin on 04/18/2011 03:55:37 |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2008 : 02:17:28
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grind away.
what's helped me today is absolute refusal to divert from "my life."
i mean, no bs. no tms thinking, no insecurities, no schemas (read up on these), just what i want and what i'm not getting. i know i have tms and a whole armada of other things i use to distract myself from what's really going on with me, and i just can't let these things tug me around anymore. it's too ridiculous.
refusal to divert. thank you everyone in that post i had.
Author of tms-recovery.com
A collection of articles on emotions, lifestyle changes, and TMS theory. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2008 : 08:44:20
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quote:
So can muscles ALWAYS be tight from a non TMS explanation? I know it's counter to everything I know of TMS, but could this be the one 'REAL INJURY'? Or is it maybe some manifestation of TMS that is 24 hours a day..constatnt.
I think that constant mild stiffness is more likely to be from TMS than from anything else. I don't know any injury that would cause constant stiffness (it should get better after a while), and you've had so many tests and treatments I'd think it's probably none of the major things you're supposed to rule out.
It's the T(ension) in TMS...
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2008 : 16:19:08
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If you know you have TMS and you have eliminated many other symptoms as such, then I would bet that any other chronic pain symptoms that you have are very likely due to TMS. This is especially true if you have been "cleared" by a physician in the past and the symptom is almost always benign, as it seems to be in this case (nothing truly alarming immediately comes to mind, but what do I know). I would avoid worrying about being the "one in a million," as I myself have done in the past. That will only hold you back from reaching the 100% pain-free milestone that you are seeking (ooh ooh what do I win!!??).
FYI, I observed Dr. Sarno's monthly alumni panel discussion last week and one of the panel members reported a similar complaint that he was able to overcome, first without psychotherapy, and then again (after it had returned) with the aid of psychotherapy. He said that the unilateral stiffness was so bad at times that doctors would point out a scoliosis-like curvature on physical exam that could be attributed to the constant muscle spasms on one side of his back.
So I agree with Scott and ACL -- grind it out!!!
Best,
MK |
Edited by - mk6283 on 04/28/2008 16:22:08 |
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Logan
USA
203 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2008 : 09:35:19
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Kevin,
I had a similar experience. About 8 mos. after getting free of every other TMS symptom - at its peak it was pretty much body-wide for me, to the point that, if one was inclined to believe in "fibromyalgia," that's what you would have said I had - after 8 mos. of serious psychological digging and behavorial reconditioning, I still had this lingering stiffness in my neck and shoulders.
You know what it was? Fear. Fear that all of this was just too damned good to be true, fear that all of the pain was going to come roaring back at any second. I was <tensed up> waiting for it.
Also, I think it was a case of FOLO, as my software engineer mate would call it. "First On, Last Off." It was the first symptom to come on the scene; it was triggered by a "whiplash" fender bender that kicked off my four years of hell; and it was the last symptom to go because I still, slightly, believed that it was a "real injury."
It sounds like you've had this stiffness for a long while, longer than any other symptom; therefore, it's going to be more stubborn to evict. You might try what worked for me to get rid of the shoulder stiffness: buy John Lee's Facing the Fire and do the anger release exercises he suggests. Maybe you could even buy a punching bag - I keep meaning to and incorporate regular beatings of it into you workout.
In the beginning of my TMS recovery, I saw a psych counselor who, although not a Sarno devotee, believed in the mindbody connection. She told me that anger, unlike other emotions is kinetic. You have to literally get it out of your body. She suggested I buy some cheap dishes at a thrift store and smash them or buy play-doh and make little figures of people who angered me, and then pound them flat. "Ha-ha," I thought, "I'm seeing a therapist and she's the one who's crazy!"
At the time, I was so focused - mistakenly - on trying to uncover the hidden, Freudian "root" of my TMS that I disregarded the whole anger aspect. But months later, when I was desperate to get rid of that last symptom, I bought Lee's book and he said the same thing. I figured they must both be on to something and doing the anger release exercises was worth a shot.
I'm telling you, as I did these exercises, at first I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet BUT then I felt the capillaries in my shoulders open up and the blood pouring into those muscles. I mean, I'd read about ischemia in Sarno's books, but here I was <feeling> its reversal. It was instantaneous and amazing. It took me about, I don't know, a month or so of doing those exercises a few times a week and I was 100%, no 110% better. Better than I'd ever been.
Congratulations Kevin on how far you've come. Try this. And I bet you'll get all the way "there." |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2008 : 12:39:53
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Maybe I should try this. I still have on and off stiffness in the upper back and shoulders that I know is just from being tense or stressed (it isn't 24/7 and it really doesn't bother me much even when it's there but it's obviously associated with times of worry), but I wonder if dealing with some of the anger in a basic physical way could help.
I think in part I haven't done any of that because I'm still afraid of the anger. I'm afraid I'll start and not be able to stop. When I picture myself smashing play-doh figures I see myself smashing the figure and continuing to smash it into the tabletop until the table breaks.
...I think this is a sign that I need to do some of this...
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2008 : 14:40:30
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| Edited because of personal info and privacy. |
Edited by - la_kevin on 04/18/2011 03:56:41 |
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Logan
USA
203 Posts |
Posted - 05/01/2008 : 07:59:30
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quote:
Originally posted by la_kevin
It's funny you say that because my back stiffness was one of the first problems when I got injured at work years ago. Logic would say that after 6 years, you would think it would be 'healed' by now.
It's eased up a lot today.I dn't really cry that often, but the other day, I had this weird burst of crying in the shower the other day and many symptoms eased after that.
More evidence.
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"Over thinking...over analyzing...separates the body from the mind." Maynard from the band TOOL
It's funny that you say that, Kevin, because I was going to also add that after doing the anger release thing for awhile, I found myself crying in the shower over stuff that I so should have been "over" by then - my great-grandparents and grandpa dying, my cousins and I losing touch over the years, the rift that had come between me and my formerly favorite aunt. I was in my early thirties yet there was a part of me that was 8; who felt the world had fallen apart because my family had dispersed.
Sorrow is the flipside to rage. I believe Sarno says as much in the MBP; but I think it often goes unremarked on this board. I'm glad you got it out and feel better. It's still hard for me to have a good cry; even when I know I need to. And I'm a woman. For guys, I imagine it's that much more difficult to overcome the social taboo against crying. |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 05/01/2008 : 15:47:30
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| Edited because of personal info and privacy. |
Edited by - la_kevin on 04/18/2011 03:56:23 |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/02/2008 : 13:01:29
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I think the griefs we experience keep resonating for a long time after they happen, like when you hit a tuning fork and the sound just goes on and on and on, fading away, until it finally merges with the air. And often times we don't even realize that something is a grief until later and we haven't processed it. There are parts of us that are still eight or five or twelve or eighteen.
I sometimes find that reading books where sad things happen is a good way to trigger me into states where I can get to my own sadnesses that I might otherwise write off because I'm trying to just stay together and get through the day/week/month/year.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2008 : 19:10:49
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quote:
Originally posted by armchairlinguist
I think the griefs we experience keep resonating for a long time after they happen, like when you hit a tuning fork and the sound just goes on and on and on, fading away, until it finally merges with the air. And often times we don't even realize that something is a grief until later and we haven't processed it. There are parts of us that are still eight or five or twelve or eighteen.
I sometimes find that reading books where sad things happen is a good way to trigger me into states where I can get to my own sadnesses that I might otherwise write off because I'm trying to just stay together and get through the day/week/month/year.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment.
No doubt.
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"Over thinking...over analyzing...separates the body from the mind." Maynard from the band TOOL |
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AmyAJJ
98 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2008 : 00:49:48
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Hi Kevin - Have you tried talking to your back/mind and letting it know that you understand where this symptom of pain is coming from?
I never thought I'd be one to get into this, but I talk to myself out loud a lot now that I'm more into Sarno's work. I talk to myself on the treadmill (no one can tell because it looks like I'm singing to my headset) I talk to myself when I'm getting in to the car, bending over to pick things up, laying in my bed with a cramp in my leg.
I'm telling the pain that it's unacceptable and that I realize that there is anger or whatever emotion that is there and that I don't need to be distracted from it right now because I'm handling it just fine.
I have talked myself out of my back "going out" when I was walking through my house hallways, I've talked myself out of my back "going out" when I was sitting in a car and trying to reposition myself in the seat. Tonight I talked myself out of a pain shooting down my leg as I was trying to go to sleep.
I also always thank the pain when it leaves because I'm trying to establish a trusting and understanding relationship with it. I let it know that if it really wants to protect me, it will spare me from the pain that just tends to make me angrier or more sad, etc. But the most helpful thing that I've found to tell myself and my pain is that I'm aware of the emotions and it's okay with me that they're here. I'm not scared of them. So there's nothing to distract me from. I'm doing fine.
So far I've found this particularly helpful with acute pains that come up. My more chronic tightness in the back like you're describing is something I talk to also and with each passing day it seems to be releasing its grip on me.
We're talking to ourselves all the time anyway in our heads - and often it's not very nice what we're saying to ourselves. Well, I'll speak for me and say that I often say unkind things to myself. So who cares if I'm talking aloud to myself and saying things that I think might actually help me? I've gotten over the weirdness or embarrassment that could come with it and I just do it. If someone over hears me and says, "what?" or "Huh?" I say, "nothing. I was just talking to myself." Nobody seems to care!
Basically I'm talking about reassuring the pain (that is ultimately trying to protect you) that there is nothing you need protecting from anymore. That you're quite capable of dealing with the emotions - whatever they may be. |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2008 : 00:59:43
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Oh trust me, I talk to 'it'. I know full well that it is TMS. After 7 years of chronic pain, there is no other reason(I found out about TMS about a year ago)I know all the concepts and 'tricks' but I slacked off on applying them till late. Now I'm having the good ole anxiety sleeplesness from my starting journaling again, which happens every time.
When I went through TMS therapy though I learned that the 'how' you talk to TMS is important. Getting angry at it doesn't do squat. Doing the things you mentioned help. Just the other day I jogged for about half a mile, for the first time in a long time. The whole time saying "You're not broken" to my legs. It works.
Now that I have started journaling again, my neck went out and has been stiff for two days, and I am having sleep startles and surges of anxiety everytime I close my eyes. Just took a sleeping pill, lol. This stuff is maddening.
Anyways, thanks for the responses.
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"Over thinking...over analyzing...separates the body from the mind." Maynard from the band TOOL |
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The Last Thing That Won't Go
