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seimon_23
United Kingdom
17 Posts |
 Posted - 04/26/2008 : 08:35:47
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Hello All. Can anyone offer any advice on where to go next once you've delved as deep as you can into your psyche looking for all the harmfull emotions that are the cause of your TMS? Over the past month or so, I've explored every dark corner of my mind - issues with my family, why I don't have a better job, why can't I have a stable relationship with anyone etc. I wont list everything but, I think I've been pretty thorough and honest with myself and still the pain persists. Which means part of my mind says, 'There you go, I told you this Sarno stuff was nonsense! You've got a physical condition and it's not going to get any better!' And I know now that this reaction is simply part of a fear cycle that only perpetuates TMS's ability to create pain but, in the absence of 'concrete' results, doubt is gnawing away at my resolve. Where do you look once all the skeletons are out of the closet? How can you tell which is the one that's causing all the pain? What if its more than one? Dammit, shouldn't I be getting better now? I mean, now that I'm aware of my fears and anxieties; shouldn't my pain just start to melt away? Just this week I had a pretty frank discussion with my mother about how I don't feel that I'm living up to my parent's expectations. It ended up with me in tears and punching the walls and, sure enough, I got a TMS reaction: pain that I normally associate with using a computer keyboard (so called 'RSI'). However, even though I realised and accept that this was directly linked to my emotional state, my pain level over the next few days only got worse. In spite of my repeating that my pain was psychological in my head, like a bloody mantra, and trying to focus on those negative emotions at the root of it. I do accept Sarno's hypothesis - so many of the symptoms, so many of the personality traits, so much anecdotal evidence from other posters here and elsewhere strikes a chord with me and yet my pain simply says, 'Screw you buddy, I'm here to stay!' Does this sound familiar to anyone else? Is it all simply a part of the recovery process? Is my little virtual temper tantrum so 'run-of-the-mill' that its boring everyone? Forgive me if that's the case (but it has helped to vent my anger at people who understand ). I have no intentions of abandoning the Sarno technique, but I'm seriously considering seeking out a good psychoanalyst (no mean feat when you live in the countryside of Wales) because my emotional baggage is clearly to heavy for me to lift on my own. Thanks for listening. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2008 : 18:15:13
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Very simple: you are still emotionally reactive to the pain. You still fear it. You still doubt. The distraction still works. So it won't go away.
You need to change your approach and take a straightforward approach that you know the answer and you don't care about the pain. You can't engage with the pain and still expect it to go away.
For practical help, try Fred Amir's book (now free online, even) for deconditioning strategies and ways to use simple rewards and punishments to improve.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 04/27/2008 : 09:28:24
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quote:
Originally posted by seimon_23
Over the past month or so, I've explored every dark corner of my mind - issues with my family, why I don't have a better job, why can't I have a stable relationship with anyone etc. I wont list everything but, I think I've been pretty thorough and honest with myself and still the pain persists. Which means part of my mind says, 'There you go, I told you this Sarno stuff was nonsense!
IMO this is not the proper mindset for recovery. I suggest you keep reading Dr. Sarno's book.
First of all, it is not possible to identify "the" reasons for the pain. It's not as if you can suddenly find some repressed emotion and have an "a ha!" moment and the pain just vanishes. The pain is a distraction from unconscious rage that you cannot feel. All you can do is explore all the conscious thoughts and emotions that may add to the reservoir.
By shifting your thoughts to the psychological realm, it is a reconditioning process. You are telling your brain that the distraction is not working because you are exploring these "dangerous" emotions anyway. You must do this over and over, every time you are aware of the pain.
Many people have unrealistic expectations and are quick to become frustrated and doubtful when results don't come quickly. It is critical to take a long-term view and accept that this is a life-long change in the way that you think about and react to the pain. It is not a quick fix. |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 04/27/2008 : 14:07:14
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Hello in the UK. Don't give yourself a time limit. I have been doing personal writing therapy for over a year now (Sarno diagnosed TMS in January 2007) and there are still things that occur to me that I write about. So it's unlikely that in a month you have given yourself the release of emotions that you may need for healing. Also realize that we will realize some issues, but there are other buried issues which we may never uncover.
Seeing a psychologist may be helpful to you. I also suggest creating a nurturing inner voice to overpower the many-years-in-the-making harsh one we all seem to have at one point or another. Speak kindly to yourself. e.g. the doubting voice comes to you, bring up your nurturing one like you are speaking to a child, (you ARE in fact speaking to your inner child) "now, dear, what good does talking that way do. . .we are going to try Dr. Sarno's method. It has helped so many people. I belive it can help me too."
AND issues will come up in our everyday lives, in fact, one part of the "beaker" Dr. Sarno shows patients is made up of everyday factors.
Don't give up. Doubt is a strong adversary . . .
Best wishes for healing,
Lori |
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Anna Lee
United Kingdom
2 Posts |
Posted - 05/01/2008 : 00:26:50
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Hello Simon
I was in a similar place to you just a few weeks ago. Then I had a bit of an aha moment. In that moment I really understood that I had to get to a stage where the pain DID NOT MATTER. Only by the pain not mattering have I begun to lose the fear of it. And I do believe it is the fear of the pain that keeps it alive no matter what other stresses may have started it.
Since reading Sarno some months ago I thought I did fear the pain less but actually I did not because like you I so wanted the pain to go away. And by making the pain matter so much, it assumed epic proportions. I thought about it nearly all the time and avoided situations that made the pain worse. Like sitting. In fact until a few weeks ago I had given sitting up entirely. And life seemed very grim indeed.
Now I say the pain does not matter. I accept the situation as it is. I have started to sit and now manage this for up to 3 hours a day. There are times when this seems to make the pain worse. But I know this is to do with sitting being almost like a phobia so without realising it I tense up almost every muscle in my body. Now I am approaching sitting in a more relaxed manner, tensing up less, fearing it less.
As with the pain I had to make sitting not matter because the more it mattered the more I feared it when I failed. And I have failed... often. Before my aha moment, the pain mattered, sitting mattered, failure mattered. Each time I tried sitting the pain worsened so that within a couple of weeks I stopped sitting and went back to lying down. Now I am managing each day with more acceptance of my situation. Knowing that if my fear levels are lower I will get better, but that this will take time. I put no deadline on this as any deadline raises expectations and anticipation of failure leads to fear, to anxiety.......
Other psychological stress adds to my fear and anxiety levels. I too have many, many issues which I am aware create much stress for me. I now meditate and do breathing exercises and these techniques seem to help me to process that type of stress better so adding less to my overall fear levels. It is these fear levels that keeps adrenaline pumping away, making us hypersensitive to pain, to fear, to emotions. It's a vicious circle that must be broken.
I am not cured yet. The pain levels go up and down. I still get anxious when I sit but I think the anxiety levels are going down. There are times when the pain does matter, when sitting does matter but I am able to get more quickly to the place where they don't. And so hope that I am breaking that circle and starting on a virtuous circle instead. I know all of this, for me at least, will take some time.
Good luck to you Simon and my very best wishes
Anna Lee
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seimon_23
United Kingdom
17 Posts |
Posted - 05/01/2008 : 13:40:04
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| Many thanks to everyone who took the time to reply to my rant Anna Lee in particular - your experiences have really struck a chord with me. Since posting my topic, I did some more research on the net and came across some (poor quality) audio recordings of people discussing TMS and Sarno's therapeutic techniques. This was a big help, I wouldn't say the pain vanished but, it did help me to put it all in perspective and come at the problem from a new angle. Since then, I've been reading Fred Amir's Rapid Recovery from Back and Neck Pain which is helping tremendously. Its taught me to realise that my continued pain is nothing more than a conditioned response to a specific stimulus (using a keyboard) and my road to recovery lies in breaking that association. I'm a born worrier, and the slightest setback sends me off into a spiral of anxiety and depression (exactly what the TMS feeds off). But now, I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that every day is a battle. Some days I'll advance, others I'll retreat but that doesn't mean the 'war' is lost. In the long term, I'll win. |
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Facing my demons - pain proving resistant
