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Kareem
Canada
8 Posts |
 Posted - 04/19/2008 : 13:17:13
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Hello, I'm a new 22 year old member, I found out about this place after reading Dr. Sarno's Mindbody Prescription.
I've been suffering from sciatica for about 5 months now. My first back injury occurred in July, I sprained it playing tennis, I had bruises on my back that seemed to show it wasn't really mental. I took a weeks rest off, continued working and then got back to school in September. I have to mention something about where I study first, I'm an engineering student and the stress and workload in my school is significant. I also put a lot of pressure on myself, If I'm not the best, I'm disapointed, I always need to have perfect grades, even in subjects that aren't my strengths.
Anyways, in November, in the middle of my second round of midterms, I woke up with a pain in my leg. At first, I thought it would go away quickly, but it persisted during the week. I couldn't stand, I started limping and I could barely contain the pain during my exams. I went to the doctor who told me I had sciatica in the right leg. I basically stopped doing everything I normally did. I then seeked out a physiotherapist whom I went to for 2 months. I did the exercices, I even canceled my winter semester(the pain was too much), but didn't improve. I then went to an osteopath, started swimming as well as a new set of exercices I found by myself(combination of McKenzie, Yoga and Pilates). I improved a lot, I can sit but 3 months later I still have sciatica and I have many of the symptoms of TMS: pain on the behind when pressured and pain moves around the leg.
I have to also mention that while I didn't get MRIs(this is due to big waiting lists in Montreal/Quebec) I did get X-rays that showed nothing. No one can explain my situation properly, I've had different diagnosis, some say I don't have herniated disc symptoms, some say I do, others say my spine needs to be decompressed. One thing they still haven't been able to explain is why when I lift my right leg and put it back down either my back will crack as if ligaments pressed on the bones, or my groin, my knee or even my ankle will make cracking noises. These cracking noises(I can feel them too, not just hear them) started the day I had sciatica.
As for TMS, I know I've had TMS before. When I was in high school, I developed hives which were not explained by any of the many specialists I went to. I even developed a skin/hives allergy to allergy medication! One summer I was working the day and night shifts at a factory, the hives weren't as bad until I started getting them every morning going to work. I hated that job and it only gave me a reason to stop and so did the hives. I also suffered from depression and insomnia for a few months in college when I was 18 after due to my love life. I had strong migraines last year in the middle of my finals
that went away when I finished the exams.
I have no problem admitting I'm someone who's had a lot of rage in my life, towards my father who left me and my family when I was a child, leaving my mother who didn't have a job or money with thousands of debt. Towards my mother for many reasons, towards my own numerous inadequacies(or at least what my mind tells me are inadequacies), towards my people around me and towards the fact that I and my mother have worked tirelessly for almost a decade. I haven't made the list but I know it would probably fill up a page easily.
Anyways, it's been five months now and I know that whatever the nature of my injury is, it should have healed. What do you think? |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2008 : 23:44:01
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pain moves around the leg
This is a strong sign it's TMS. Think about it -- if your leg was physically injured, or nerves were being irritated, it should always be in the same place, because there's a physical location that is in pain. If it's moving around, that means there is no particular physical location. This is also shown by test results showing that you have nothing visibly wrong, and by the mixed-up diagnoses that don't agree with each other.
I think whether you had an injury originally or not, you are 22 and your body is young, strong, and healthy and is healed. The symptoms are TMS and are coming from your mind. You have both family history and personality traits that can be causes of TMS. The fact that you've had headaches, allergies, and depression before, correlated with emotional stress, is also a strong sign that TMS is hopping around in your body trying to find a convincing location to distract you.
Follow the suggested treatment recommendations in The Mindbody Prescription. It has a section that is a letter from Sarno's patient Jim Campobello describing his approach that I found very helpful. Of course, the first step is the basics of accepting the diagnosis, rejecting the physical explanation, and identifying sources of pressure and rage. This forum also has lots of great treatment suggestions.
Best to you in your journey!
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2008 : 09:26:05
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Hi Kareem.
...........Couple of things here.
Those noises? you know..the pops and crackles? If they meant anything nefarious than I should be a cripple...but I'm not. I have really,REALLY loud POP's in both knees when I crouch, My hips when I do stomach crunches, my jaw when I eat(which is embarassing when I eat in public) and of course my back and shoulders. I play baseball, and every first few swings in warm up is like a bowl of rice crispies..pop..POP...pop
If I hadn't read Sarno they would probably be really scary, but he equates them to the sound your knuckles make when they crack.
My GP heard one recently and got really concerned. I have noticed, since she freaked out, I have heard them more often ...coincidence? I think not...I'd attribute it to my own obsessive brain.
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I'm sure I'll get yelled down on this one by the rest of the forum, but here goes.
I didn't really dig "Mindbody Prescription". I bought it out of a sense of loyalty to Sarno, but I found my attention wavering. It was a lot less clear and to the Point than "Healing Back Pain" had been, and I secretly wondered (and thanked God) if I would have had the quick recovery I did if I had read "Mindbody prescription" first. I would have to say that the same thing goes for "Mind Over Back pain" which was his very first book....My downstairs Neighbor in LA had 4 massively herniated discs and recovered with that book, but I've thumbed it and it looks so much like all the other back books, what with it's diagrams and so forth..... I might have tossed that one too.
I feel that "Healing Back Pain" goes right to the heart of the matter. It diagnoses the problem, and goes right to the recovery instructions in a very 1+2=3 sort of way
Diagnosis. Observations. Recovery instructions. Supporting information and bibliography.
I just went through "The divided Mind" and I would say it's his most comprehensive work to date...sort of a Magnum Opus. But for the sake of effectiveness, I would suggest HBP first.
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You're an engineering student. I imagine you didn't just pull that major out of a hat. My Father was an Engineer. He also had Horrible TMS. My son is leaning towards Engineering. He has TMS. I skipped the educational avenue, but people bring me broken things all the time because they know I'll become obsessed with the problem and fix it. I fixed my washing machine last week, took the whole thing apart and put it back together again (and it works!) and I have never had instruction in their operation. I am obsessed with how stuff works.
Engineering and other sciences always attract a certain type of personality.... almost like the ultimate TMS make-up. You're a thinker and a problem solver. You work in the 3D real world, levers, pulleys, gravity, outward radial velocity.Pressure,strength, forces and balance. That's a lot of structural thinking and for the most part that is a wonderful thing. I never tire of reading about science.I love learning.
But, when dealing with TMS which is a proven entity but of unknown absolute function, it must exasperate that type of mind. I know it does for me....and I'm a painter!
You are already on the trail. You can see the issues with Dad splitting,you know some are with your Mom, your personailty, the pressure you and your Mom are under etc,etc. You probably feel like you MUST succeed or you'll have failed your Mom, who I imagine must have sacrificed quite a bit to have raised such a conscientious son..... But can you imagine Kareem with a Father who stayed, so there wasn't constant pressure on the family, your Mom, and than of course you? He could have majored in Liberal arts and Partied like all the other rich kids in your college , with little care or concern for the future because "Hey.. My pops'll give me the family Business... No worries"
You might be a lot angrier than you think. Even at your Mom. In fact, that would be the anger you would need to repress the most. She made her sacrifice so you could rise above...she loves you with all her heart. You could never allow any anger at her to surface.
and...you didn't mention any siblings? That is always relevant. If you're an only child, your the center of the universe. If you're an Oldest child, the mantle is always tossed on your shoulders. If you're a younger sibling, the pressure to stack up.
Lile I said, you're definitely on the trail to beat this. When I was 22 I was criminally negligent. I lived at the mercy of strangers. You're waaaaay more mature than most of the 20 somethings I have ever known. In fact, you're probably more conscientious that I have ever been and I'm twice your age (almost)
That is a curse and a blessing. The Curse is the TMS... the blessing is that you're understanding that outstrips your years is going to be a huge asset when you have the right tools.
and lastly...not getting that MRI was probably divine intervention. When I got My MRI results that showed the laundry list of structural defects, my pain skyrocketed (herniated disc, stenosis,congenital fusion,etc,etc ad nauseum)
Grab a copy of HBP. I think it's like 13 bucks...Oh wait.you're in Canada. OK...it's like 30 bucks (LOL)...still cheaper than a Jar of vicodin.
-peace
BB65 |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2008 : 09:50:21
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quote:
Oh wait.you're in Canada. OK...it's like 30 bucks (LOL)...
Not these days! ;) CAD and USD are 1:1 now. HBP is CAD$11.32 on Amazon.ca.
Love your post, BB. So on the money about pressures and anger.
MBP was my personal favorite Sarno book, though, so I have say YMMV on that one.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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Kareem
Canada
8 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2008 : 11:16:46
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quote:
Originally posted by Baseball65
You are already on the trail. You can see the issues with Dad splitting,you know some are with your Mom, your personailty, the pressure you and your Mom are under etc,etc. You probably feel like you MUST succeed or you'll have failed your Mom, who I imagine must have sacrificed quite a bit to have raised such a conscientious son..... But can you imagine Kareem with a Father who stayed, so there wasn't constant pressure on the family, your Mom, and than of course you? He could have majored in Liberal arts and Partied like all the other rich kids in your college , with little care or concern for the future because "Hey.. My pops'll give me the family Business... No worries"
You might be a lot angrier than you think. Even at your Mom. In fact, that would be the anger you would need to repress the most. She made her sacrifice so you could rise above...she loves you with all her heart. You could never allow any anger at her to surface.
and...you didn't mention any siblings? That is always relevant. If you're an only child, your the center of the universe. If you're an Oldest child, the mantle is always tossed on your shoulders. If you're a younger sibling, the pressure to stack up.
You pretty much described my situation to a tee. We have two sets of higher education here in Quebec, one called college after high school and then we have university. For what it's worth, I did two 2 year diplomas in both music and science in 3 years instead of 4. The scenario you described, I think I've imagined it a thousands times.
I'm not so sure if I'd have gone to engineering either, my mom always said she saw me as a surgeon or an engineer and those are the two programs I applied to. I do feel pretty strongly that if I hadn't gone to medicine and engineering I would've thought I failed my mom. Even when I plan my life, I see stocks, businesses, finance, travel, I don't see anything that has to do with engineering. I couldn't stand sitting on a desk doing turbine calculations alone all day, the thought of it makes me cringe.
But success really is important to me, I can't count the number of times I could've gone out and have fun with friends, only to convince myself I had to work, get better, be the best. I know I have a strong need to succeed, I've had it since the day my father left, but I don't know what I should do about it. I don't want it to go away either...
I do have siblings, an older brother and a younger sister. Maybe I have rage against them, but I don't think it's nearly to the extent I do towards my parents and myself. |
Edited by - Kareem on 04/20/2008 11:22:46 |
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Am I suffering from TMS?
