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penguins
39 Posts |
 Posted - 04/04/2008 : 09:54:01
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Hi There, I am new to the forums. Today marks 3 weeks since I started reading Dr. Sarno's books. Yeterday I came on here and wrote a post asking for help with a stumbling block that I had hit. I had been 90% better and then I worked out with weights and did the exercises I originally thought caused my "herniated" disc. Anyway, I wound up in a lot of pain and felt extremely discouraged. So, I wrote a post asking for help. When I tried to post it, it didn't work and disappeared. I didn't have time to re-write it, so I went on with my day.
Long story short, I found an interesting comment (Can't remember if it was from here or not):
Conflict between one's inner needs and desires AND the need to maintain one's self image (a self image which may be based on one's higher value's or those of others) generates powerful subconscious undercurrents - so TMS emerges to prevent those threatening feelings from surfacing - an avoidance mechanism to evade the reconciliation of very powerful, but (seemingly) incompatible mental directions. Look for conflicts which threaten your self image.
Well, I really took this to heart and had a major breakthrough between yesterday and today. I won't go into details (unless someone really wants to know), but this rang true for me so much that I feel like a light switch went off. Right this minute, the pain in my neck/upper back is about 98% gone. I cannot believe it. I feel like I got over such a huge hurdle and I'm so proud of myself for it!!!! I know the pain may come back, but this is proof that it's TMS. Next step is to work on the plantar fasciitis I've had for over a year and a half (of course I've had and done every treatment known to man for the PF --except surgery -- all to no avail. TMS at its finest I am sure!).
Anyway, I just wanted to share a success with you all. I am simply amazed at the difference between yesterday's lost post and today. Thanks for listening!
--Jennifer 
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Kristin
98 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2008 : 13:24:59
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That is wonderful! I have been working through many similar ideas lately, namely, "what or who is my authentic self and how am i influenced by others ideas of me and issues from my past that are either helpful or hurtful?" I wouldn't mind hearing more of your story, infact, I'm very interested.
Congratulations. This work is very rewarding in so many ways! |
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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2008 : 14:53:36
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[quote]Originally posted by penguins
Long story short, I found an interesting comment (Can't remember if it was from here or not):
Conflict between one's inner needs and desires AND the need to maintain one's self image (a self image which may be based on one's higher value's or those of others) generates powerful subconscious undercurrents - so TMS emerges to prevent those threatening feelings from surfacing - an avoidance mechanism to evade the reconciliation of very powerful, but (seemingly) incompatible mental directions. Look for conflicts which threaten your self image.
[/quote
Jennifer, this is a very timely post, considering the recent discussions on anxiety. I remember that quote and think of it often, but have had difficulty accepting that I needed to give up some of my self-image-related thoughts and goals because they just aren't realistic and cause a lot of my anxiety. I think this may be a source of anxiety for many other people as well.
Besides reflecting on the anxiety discussions, I've also been thinking of how some of the success stories mention that the person changed their ideas of what they should be doing/producing/achieving and that led to recovery. (The one's I specifically remember are Newmom's and Penny's.) So the last few days I've had much less anxiety and I think I'll be able to keep the anxiety at bay now.
Nice post, thanks for sharing what helped you. |
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penguins
39 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2008 : 06:06:22
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Kristin and LittleBird, thank you so much for your responses. You both have given me new things to really think about. I thank you so much! What I've been doing is copying and pasting quotes that seem relevant to me into a Word doc. and then printing them out and reading them throughout the day. I now have portions of both your posts in there. Great food for thought! I just wrote out my story below and it turned into such a long one. I didn't intend for it to be so long, but here goes...
My story is going to sound irrational and superficial, but I'm sure you'll agree that despite that, the mind makes it very real and difficult to deal with.
I spent the first 32 years of my life overweight in a family where EVERYONE was thin. My father was/is an extremely critical, obsessive compulsive, difficult person. It's the classic "I'll never be good enough" story for me with his perfectionistic ways.
So, fast forward to after my son was born 4 years ago. Somehow I got it in my mind that after I gave birth to a child I would finally become a thin person like the rest of my family. I worked so very hard with tons of exercise and eating right. I lost almost 50lb and transformed my body into one that was pretty much all muscle with lots of definition. HOWEVER, even at my most fit looking stage I thought I was still fat. I had been diagnosed in college with exercise bulimia (never made myself throw up, but used exercise to purge the food I ate due to emotional eating). Ironically I hurt my wrists during that time, was diagnosed with tendonitis, and given splints to wear and cortisone injections. Despite all the exercise I was doing at that time, I was still overweight.
I was forced to stop various things exercise-wise and then became distracted with my degree and where I was headed in life. I went from exercising all the time to barely doing anything for the next almost 10 years. I gained even more weight over this time period. While I was always thinking in diet mode, it was like I was resigned to being heavy.
So fast forward again to after my son was born and I had changed my body into what I had always dreamed it to be, but still wasn't happy and really still thought I was overweight. Well, combine that with the fact that my military husband was in and out of Middle East deployments, we'd just moved to a new state and I was angry, resentful, sad, etc. that I was being left AND had to care for a 2 year old by myself. I became crazy with emotional eating and exercising to purge it. It'd be a normal thing to rack up 1,200 calories burned on my heart rate monitor after a few hours of exercise. I was so afraid of gaining everything back. I thought I liked all the positive attention I now got due to my new body, but at the same time, I felt such pressure to keep getting thinner and more cut and to maintain this image. I felt like I was in a prison. I really did.
About 3 weeks before my husband was due home from the first deployment (a very stressful time for a military spouse -- both good and bad stress) I was doing step aerobics and thought to myself, "What would happen if I couldn't workout anymore?". Would you believe that one week later I started to get plantar fasciitis in my right foot? Here's the kicker (no pun intended), exactly one week after that I developed it in the other foot. Wasn't that convenient.
I didn't know it at the time (but as I said in my first post, it all came to light two days ago) but I hated the horrible feeling of being imprisoned by the exercise/food/emotions cycle and having to maintain an image that was not me. I hadn't allowed the new fit me to become one with my inner self. I always felt as though I was looking at this person from the outside and I hadn't made her (sorry to sound so corny) my own. My god I created the pain to escape from the prison. This is becoming extremely cathartic for me right now because as I am typing this I feel emotions really coming to the surface.
I didn't feel worthy or deserving of this new body. I never felt good enough all my life, why would this be any different? Why would I allow myself the pleasure of accepting the fact that the new body was a result of MY efforts alone? I did it. There wasn't a magic pill that I took. It was all due to hard work (often being completely exhausted from lack of sleep due to a baby, too, but continuing on). I just couldn't accept that, yes, I was successful and that I should enjoy the success.
So with the plantar fasciitis diagnosis came all the standard treatments, and of course, the major anxiety about not being able to do anymore cardio or lower body weights. Talk about anxious when that had been the outlet for so long. So what did I do? Really focused on upper body weights. Took one thing and just moved it over to another. After 6 months of that guess what happened? Yup, herniated disc in my neck. Again, so convenient. The thing is, like Sarno says in his books, I woke up with a stiff neck one day after a particularly stressful week. The pain was on the right side of my neck. I had it there for over a month until an MRI said there was herniation on the left side. You know what I'm going to say next. You got it, the pain then moved to the left side, and from then on proceeded to switch from right to left throughout the day with certain times of the day being worse than others.
Now that I had the herniated disc diagnosis, pretty much my whole exercising life was thrown out the window. Naturally my body went from the great shape it was in to now, where I've pretty much lost all the definition I had and have gained some weight. I'm still what others would call thin, but of course, for months I've been feeling devastated about it and see myself as heavier than I've ever been. I was so depressed, in so much pain, miserable to live with, irritable all the time -- just not a happy individual. My husband is a saint, let me tell you! I did go through a number of treatments for the disc, but like the feet, to no avail.
Finally, 3 weeks ago I went into a store called Healthy Back with the intention of trying out an inversion table because someone said it really helped her to get better. While there I noticed Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain. I had heard of it before, but automatically dismissed it each time I saw reference to it. This particular day though, I was desperate for anything that could help.
I went home and completely immersed myself in the book and anything I could find online about TMS. I read Amir's Rapid Recovery and then went on to The Mindbody Prescription. I was 90% better like I had mentioned in the first post, but when I tried weights, it brought tons of pain back after the fact. I was so discouraged for a day or two. I continued to believe though because I really knew in my heart of hearts that it was TMS causing this. That's when I stumbled upon the quote that helped me to get over the hurdle. My inner needs were in TOTAL conflict with this new self image that I thought I had to maintain. Two "incompatible mental directions". The avoidance mechanism was pain. All along I thought the injuries were from over excising. I just continued to be in pain because I didn't understand what was really going on. Completely amazing how interconnected the mind and body truly are.
So now, this very minute, my neck/upper back is 98 - 99% pain free. If I start to feel the least bit stressed or have a negative thought I will feel a twinge. Each time that happens I now say to myself, "I'm on to you." That is working so far. My feet are killing me, but I have it in my head that I need to focus on one area of pain at a time. I also don't think I've totally embraced the feet thing being due to TMS even though all the signs point to it and it makes total sense. I've been working out again (kickboxing, step aerobics) and naturally think the pain is due to that and fear that I am making it worse. However, I'm putting faith in the TMS diagnosis since it's really been true for the "herniated disc" and am continuing to do the cardio that I have so greatly missed. I think it will take some time for the feet to come along. Sarno does say that foot pain tends to linger in people.
I also decided that it's time to go back into therapy and have scheduled an appointment for next week with a psychologist who treats eating disorders. I am ready to really face the fact that I need to delve deeper into my emotions. I was in therapy for over a year during all this craziness, but I was still hiding behind the pain, so I wasn't able to see what was really going on. There is so much to my past (especially my father's critical nature) and never feeling like I was good enough.
Throughout all this pain for the last year and a half I have always said that this has to be happening for a reason. Here's something interesting and then I will finish my ramble. My father has been in debilitating back and leg pain for years now. I just sent him the three books I read plus a ton of printouts of online stuff and success stories regarding TMS. Despite all of his critical ways, I so desperately want to help him be relieved of his pain. That right there shows emotional healing on my part I think. Believe it or not, our relationship has improved over the last year since I started having back pain -- because we now had something in common that we could share. We both really understand what chronic pain is like. I think it has helped us to bond in a way that was never possible before.
So, if you've made it this far in reading my story, I thank you for taking the time to do so. I never intended for this post to become what it did, but I am so grateful that I have now exposed myself and "aired out" a lot of things that I have been unconsciously keeping inside for so long. I truly am on my way to a pain free and happy life. Thank you so very much for listening!
--Jennifer
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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2008 : 14:42:15
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Jennifer,
I really enjoyed getting to read the account of your experience, and it wasn't too long at all. (Other forums may emphasize brief posts, but here it's useful to get things out and share the feelings.)
I related a lot to some of what you've been through. My dad was a critical perfectionist. I felt I could never meet his expectations. I happened to be thin as a child, simply because I was active, but started putting on weight in my teens. My mother had gone from being in great shape and very attractive in her twenties to being overweight and then obese, so I had a fear of doing the same, having seen how it affected people's attitudes towards her. And even though she was overweight, she didn't want me to be, so I felt pressure from her about it, along with pressure from my dad to stay thin like him. (I was the only girl, but my brothers were all thin and fit and seemed to view my mom's weight problems as weakness/laziness.)
In my late teens and again in my mid-twenties I went through periods of exercise bulemia, and my weight was up and down. When I was getting lots of attention for being in great shape I felt it wasn't right that people only seemed to care about the outside of me and I was torn between enjoying the "approval" I was getting from everyone and feeling like it wasn't right for me to be so focused on the "superficial." The episode in my mid-twenties, which started when I got divorced, was very much about wanting people to stop looking at my outside and care about my inner self. I got to a point where I was too depressed to exercise anymore and I was swinging back and forth between starving and binging. The weight piled on.
I lost weight a few years later and overcame the emotional binge eating while dating my current husband. But then we got married, had a child and his other children moved in with us and I discovered that my husband considered everything outside of his job to be my responsibility, while expecting me to bring in an income too. I had a lot of anger about taking care of the kids on my own, especially since my husband was there, he just wouldn't help. While I managed not to go back to the emotional eating that I used to do when I was under stress, I developed chronic pain and fatigue.
I'm so glad to hear that you're doing much better. I do think your feet issues are very likely TMS and that you'll get rid of that pain too. It's also great that you've been able to connect to your dad more. You are definitely on your way to pain free! |
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penguins
39 Posts |
Posted - 04/06/2008 : 05:31:43
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Hi Littlebird, thank you so much for your post! We do have some similarities in our experiences don't we? Interesting how your pain came on when you were responsible for the children without help from your husband. My two areas of pain started while my husband was on his deployments. Each time he was gone. Very interesting...
I appreciate you sharing with me your bouts with over-exercising. It really is helpful to hear from someone who has been through a similar situation. I completely agree wtih what you said about how you didn't like that the fit you was receivng so much positive attention whereas unfit the attention wasn't there. It's such a clashing of emotions because of course the positive attention feels good, but then the inner self thinks, "But wait a minute, that is superficial and based soley on my looks and not myself as a person." I totally agree with that.
I am so thankful that I have discovered the knowledge of TMS and this forum. I hope so much that my feet will also be due to TMS. I'm just not there yet with that one. Hopefully it will come.
Thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my posts. I hope to "see" you again on the forum!! Have a great day!
--Jennifer :) |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2008 : 00:42:01
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Wow Penguin, Thanks for your posts! I never heard of exercise bulemia before and that sounds like me after I had my daughter. I became obsessed with eating healthy and exercising 5 times a week and dropped 30 lbs, but STILL I thought I was fat. (I looked ill I was so thin.) That's when my TMS pain really took hold of me.
Historically, if I look at my lifetime obsessions I've gone through periods of habitual behavior that have attempted to cover my inadaquate feelings. First tons of extracurrilar activities in high school, then smoking, then binge alcolhol drinking, then after college I was a workaholic, then after having kids I went health crazy, then Internet research crazy. I realize that I have a very obsessive personality, and consider myself recovering, especially now that I can see a pattern in myself.
By chance are you reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth? Some of your sentiments about the power of mind and other things made me think you might be. For me it's been a great book to help me and complements my TMS work.
On another note, I'd love to congratulate you on the fact that you know your TMS pain may come back... this is HUGE for you to be able to accept this. Accepting that your body expresses itself via TMS will really help you get in tune with the cues your body is giving you. For me, now when I get a physical manifestation I now understand that this is a signal to check my emotional honesty. I am really good at keeping negative emotions hidden, not only from others but from myself. When I get twitches of stabbing pains I challenge myself with questions, instead of stopping what I'm doing.
Good luck and thanks again for sharing your story. I could relate to your life very much.
>|< Penny
"Feeling will get you closer to the truth of who you are than thinking."
~ Eckhart Tolle
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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2008 : 14:13:52
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quote:
Originally posted by Penny
For me, now when I get a physical manifestation I now understand that this is a signal to check my emotional honesty. I am really good at keeping negative emotions hidden, not only from others but from myself.
Penny, that is such an important point, that we keep emotions hidden even from ourselves. Before I started this TMS journey I thought I knew what I felt, because I thought about it all the time. But I was only looking at certain aspects of my life and was totally blocking out the anger I feel in other areas, because I just couldn't admit to myself that I had anger in those areas. It didn't fit with my self-image. It's been a slow and difficult process for me to admit more of the feelings to myself, but I'm getting there and I am seeing physical and mental progress.
It's also the reason I really didn't get anywhere when I went to therapy in the past--I couldn't be really open to all of my feelings and I'd just get stuck and think that the therapy wasn't helping me--it just seemed to make me feel worse.
Penny, I love how your posts always seem to strike a chord with me. I learn from everyone here, but certain people seem to have more similarities to my experiences and thinking, so I pick up especially good insights for my situation from them. You're one of those people I particularly relate to and learn a lot from. Thank you for continuing to post on this forum. |
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penguins
39 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2008 : 17:24:58
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Penny! Yes, the obsessive personality and how it manifests all throughout life!! You and I are definitely similar. You really have me thinking about other times that I've probably had physical manifestations, but thought they were something else. Also, I did the same as you with throwing myself into work in my twenties, then I dated nothing but non-commital 30-somethings (a few of who had alcohol/drug issues) until finally meeting my husband when I had reached a more stable place mentally. I'm not sure how I got to that better place at the time, but thank goodness!!!
It's interesting that you bring up Tolle. I have not read the one you mentioned (I will!), but did read The Power of Now a few years back at the suggestion of my then therapist. I've been trying to make myself aware of being in the moment these past few days when I notice anxiety building. I had such resistence to the idea of being in the present when I was in therapy. I'm starting to really understand why it's so important.
I am amazed at how the pain now comes and goes. If I anticipate it, it most certainly happens. I am really happy that I can quite quickly make it go away. That's the pain in my upper back and neck. My feet are such an albatross though. They are so much worse and I'd like to believe it's the TMS shifting, but I've been doing lots of exercises that I'd stopped due to the disc stuff which have always hurt my feet more. So each day they've gotten worse. I so desperately want the plantar fasciitis to be TMS. I just have such doubt about it. I know that will only hold me back from finding resolution if it is indeed TMS. I think I've exhausted all the Internet searches possible (there's that obsessive personality again!) for people who've banished their PF pain by accepting it's TMS. Maybe one day it'll happen.
Thank you so much for reading my posts and writing back! You've given me a lot to think about!
Littlebird: What you said here totally rings true for me:
"Before I started this TMS journey I thought I knew what I felt, because I thought about it all the time. But I was only looking at certain aspects of my life and was totally blocking out the anger I feel in other areas, because I just couldn't admit to myself that I had anger in those areas. It didn't fit with my self-image."
It's amazing how much I have learned about who I am truly angry at over this past month. The part about it not fitting your self-image really makes sense for me.
Thank you so much for posting. You are so very insightful!
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2008 : 23:48:44
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quote:
Originally posted by penguins
My feet are such an albatross though. They are so much worse and I'd like to believe it's the TMS shifting, but I've been doing lots of exercises that I'd stopped due to the disc stuff which have always hurt my feet more. So each day they've gotten worse. I so desperately want the plantar fasciitis to be TMS.
Penguins, Dollars for donuts ... I bet you your PF IS TMS!!!!! Try really hard to ignore it and do what your brain wants to do anyway, despite AND IN SPITE of the pain. I used to run regularly and stopped when my fibro hit. Part of my recovery meant running again and continuing to run through the pain. It was dreadful experience, but after about 10 mins of physical pain and me telling my brain (and cussing like a sailor AT the pain) guess what happened? The pain stopped for the rest of my run that day. It was like it knew I had made up my mind that it wasn't going to stop me even if it continued and I had chased it out of me. I think I had expressed some rage during that 10 minutes and took my body back. My pain did come back later that day but it was reduced. Then I knew it was TMS. But again, I made up my mind that I was NOT going to let it stop me, even if it meant I fell to the ground in agony, or was carted off to the funnyfarm. 
Sounds really dramatic, but this was pivotal moment for me accepting TMS.
Your conscious doesn't want your PF to be TMS, so I wonder if it must be serving you in some higher way, like getting you out of something you don't want to do, or being somewhere or with someone you'd rather not.
That's great that you had read Power of Now. I enjoyed that one too. Right now A new Earth is on Oprah's book club and there is a free online webcast on Monday nights. They discuss Tolle's ideas with him and answer lots of viewers questions. It's pretty neat and has definitely helped me have greater presence and awareness to the truth in my current situation. You can read more about it on Oprah's site. You don't have to have read this book to benefit.
Good luck with everything and thanks for reply!
Hi LittleBird ... you know I feel EXACTLY the same about you and your posts help me too!
Penny
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penguins
39 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2008 : 05:21:35
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Penny, you know yesterday afternoon I thought maybe, just maybe, the PF is TMS. I was doing a kickboxing video. Before I started it my feet hurt. During the workout they didn't hurt that much (which I do notice a lot. They won't hurt during). Then towards the end of it my son woke up from his nap and came in the room and started bugging me with, "Mommy, when are you going to be done?" and "Come play outside with me." My husband was taking a nap, so he was of no use in helping. Do you know that the pain in my feet got worse like almost instantly? At first I figured it must have been because I'd been working out for 50 minutes. But then, I started to really think about it all. My son is a huge source of emotional stuff for me. I was definitely feeling anger that my husband was napping and that my workout was getting interrupted.
What you said is very interesting:
"Your conscious doesn't want your PF to be TMS, so I wonder if it must be serving you in some higher way, like getting you out of something you don't want to do, or being somewhere or with someone you'd rather not."
Imediately I think that the PF is a way of preventing me from being able to get my body back to the shape it was in when I was super-fit and thin. As much as I consciously think I want to be there again, it was such a hard place to be emotionally, and I also equate that time period with my husband's deployments and being left (and of course the hardships of dealing with my son alone).
I also have knee, ankle, and wrist issues. I was always told tendonitis. Right now in the last month since I started back with the cardio I used to do, besides the PF, my knee and ankle are really hurting. Oh and interestingly, my old stomach issues have come back a bit. I was put on a low dose of Prozac recently, so I attributed the stomach to that and naturally, my brain tells me my knee and ankle (oh and shin splint pain the other day) are a result of the exercise. I'm a big mess!!!
I so hope you are right that it's TMS. When I write it out like this, it really does look like it. I just receieved the Mindybody Workbook (Schecter). Some of the reviews on Amazon said it was a waste of money, but for me, I want to have the structure of the journal right in front of me. I've spent so much money on all my injuries. The $18 that it cost seems like nothing compared to that. So, if it helps, great. I'm willing to try.
Oh I do have a question. One problem I have with continuing to workout through the pain is the fear of eventually tearing the fascia. I've been programmed to believe that I will only get worse. I'm currently wearing my third set of orthotics that, like the first two, haven't helped a bit (nor did the 7 total cortisone shots). I don't mind feeling the pain in my feet if I can continue to workout. It's the FEAR of what could happen that's so hard. I know that's a crux of TMS. I just have these terrible visions of tearing or worse rupturing the fascia and then having to wear a boot thing, etc., etc. If someone could tell me that I could continue my workouts with no repercussions, I would deal with the pain (lord knows I'm used to it since it's been over a year and a half of feeling pain somewhere every single day). I so want to trust in the TMS diagnosis for my feet, but it's so hard.
When you were going through this, did you think you were doing damage by running through the pain? I'm not really familiar with fibro (other than Sarno's books). What did you fear? The neat and clean part of PF is that the docs and everyone on the Internet talk about tearing and rupturing. With your fibro, what did you fear? Also, it does sound good for my case that it usually doesn't hurt while working out, right? The pain comes later and more so the next day (and often even worse on the second day after--but I think I learned to anticpate that one from Internet research).
I'm curious to hear more about the different things your mind told you when returning to your running. Thanks so much Penny. You are so wonderful to take the time to post to me and everyone else on here. Your responses are so very helpful. I can't thank you enough!!
--Jennifer |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2008 : 17:21:13
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quote:
Originally posted by penguins
I'm currently wearing my third set of orthotics that, like the first two, haven't helped a bit (nor did the 7 total cortisone shots).
I have orthotics too, and 2 running shoes; one with, one without. Funny thing is now I don't notice which pair of running shoes I use, so I feel really skeptical that these impacted my pain level at all.
quote:
Originally posted by penguins
When you were going through this, did you think you were doing damage by running through the pain? I'm not really familiar with fibro (other than Sarno's books). What did you fear? --Jennifer
I feared EVERYTHING. I feared I'd get hit by cars. I feared I was going to die from the pain of fibro. I feared I would get even more intense spasms that would land me in a wheelchair. (My fibro was in my back.) I got to the point of physical misery and self-inflicted limitation that I decided that if I did injure myself it couldn't possibly be worse than what I'd already endured.
With any type of activity there is a risk of breaking or tearing something. But funny enough, one time I was running and I ran on top of a very large rock and completely rolled my ankle. I was convinced it would be a full sprain, but I had ZERO pain and it never swelled or anything.
One difference between "the me with fibro" and "the me now" is that now I choose to take risks in order to reap the fruits and benefits of actually enjoying myself. This applies to my friendships, employment, and physical activities.
I was so afraid to die (probably because I had recently given birth to my daughters and I had a ton of new responsiblity and anxiety AND subconscious anger about their need of me) I had forgotten how to live and what I enjoyed. When I started to get better, I decided to live a little more wrecklessly and in doing so, retrained my brain about pain boundaries.
You are bang on about fear being the krux of TMS for some of us. Fear ruled me and practically every decision I made. I'm not saying we should take unnecessary risks with our health, but I believe that we have our happiness to lose if we don't do the things we enjoy.
I can't tell you that you won't injure yourself Jennifer, but I can say living in the moment and not letting fear of something bad happening control your decisions can completely transform you from where you are right now.
I often think of this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, "As soon as there is life there is danger." We cannot control things or people around us, only our own actions and how we choose to spend own energy in the time we have on earth. I choose to live more joyfully and fully and with less self-imposed limitations. I've gained 15 lbs and I'm squishy and happier.
((((((Hugs!!!)))))
Penny |
Edited by - Penny on 04/13/2008 17:23:20 |
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jcoleman310
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2008 : 12:06:57
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Hi folks. I am new to the TMS Help Forum and I've enjoyed reading the various posts on this site. I've suffered from TMS for a long time. I am a retired neurologist and also have a doctorate in neuropharmacology. Unfortunately, we were taught very little about the mind-body interaction in medical school way back in the dark ages when I went and frankly, until I stumbled upon Dr. Sarno's book, I had little idea of the mind-body connection and I shutter when I think of all the hundreds of patients I treated with the usual treatments when in retrospect, I now know they were suffering from TMS.
I've seen in some of your various posts about PF and carpal tunnel, etc and I am convinced that these are predominately TMS. Right now I am suffering from knee pain and for some reason, it never occurred to me that this could be the old TMS coming back....but now I know it is and I am working on it. But perhaps most importantly, I am trying to assist family members that I know are suffering from TMS. I have a daughter in med school and finals are approaching so what happens...she gets TMJ. I am certain TMJ is nothing more than a type pf TMS and will likely go to her school and try to educate her about this condition. I am certain that I want her to be more educated about TMS than her dad was.
Good luck to each of you. I know you can overcome your various manifestations of TMS because I see in your post that you know what you are dealing with....and that knowledge is more powerful than any medication or procedure. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2008 : 12:19:49
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penguins -- our bodies are stong and fit and will adapt to what we do to them in the scope of a normal, healthy, active life. If you have TMS then the pain is physically benign, so you are not hurting yourself by pushing through it. All the things you are still struggling with sound like they are also TMS -- tendonitis, PF, knee pain -- all classics. That orthotics and cortisone didn't help is also a strong sign of TMS -- you can't fix emotional pain with physical measures; if it was really physical they should have helped.
Sometimes it just takes a while to get rid of the conditioning for all the symptoms, so keep working!
Penny and Littlebird -- as always, echoing my thoughts! I am still realizing how much emotion I keep hidden from myself. My therapist recently has given me homework to each day record each time I feel an emotion (not necessarily every time but all the time I can recall). This has been helping keep me aware and see patterns. It's interesting how many small and large emotions I go through in a day!
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2008 : 14:10:58
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quote:
Originally posted by jcoleman310
I am a retired neurologist and also have a doctorate in neuropharmacology. Unfortunately, we were taught very little about the mind-body interaction in medical school way back in the dark ages when I went and frankly, until I stumbled upon Dr. Sarno's book, I had little idea of the mind-body connection and I shutter when I think of all the hundreds of patients I treated with the usual treatments when in retrospect, I now know they were suffering from TMS.
JColeman,
Welcome to our forum! Given your background, you may be interested in Candace Pert's works. She is a neuroscientist (I think that's her background). She has a marvelous CD called_Our Bodies are our Subconscious Mind_. It's quite remarkable and I bet you'd enjoy it. She talks about neuropeptides, molecules and physical matter and how emotions impact their activity. Another book by her is _Molecules of Emotion_.
On another note ... don't go beating yourself up (you are a TMSer aren't you?! heeehhee)! Many people are not receptive to TMS ideas because physical pain serves them greater somehow way than getting well. Most people want and expect medicinal/operative approaches to ending their pain. In fact, my MD told me years ago that my emotional health was the root of all my physical problems. I was furious with him, and set on a path to prove him wrong and sought to get "proper diagnosis"! 2 years later, now I realize --ironically--he was the right, but I wasn't ready and hadn't suffered enough to hear him. This is true with my family and friends, many of whom have TMS. They often challenge TMS ideas by saying "oh yes, you have TMS, but MY pain is real." RRRRrrrrr!
Look out for number one . On this journey, assist yourself before assisting passengers seated next to you. 
Best of health to you!
Penny |
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jcoleman310
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2008 : 20:19:56
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Thanks for the "welcome". I know Candace Pert and her work I am very familiar with her work on neuroreceptors and did a lot of that type research myself way back a long time ago...
Yes, I suffer from TMS and seem to forget that when I manage to get it whipped, it may show up again in another place. In fact, I've had some knee injections with hyaluronic acid when suddenly it hit me....this is TMS...and now I'm working on it again and hopefully with the same good results as with the original back problem.
I am wondering if any of you other folks have had knee issues? |
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Getting over those stumbling blocks!
