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hematite
USA
21 Posts |
 Posted - 01/12/2008 : 00:55:15
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Hi! I have been working with Sarnos stuff and also Adyashanti's stuff. This week, I just got really relaxed and accepted everything as it was. I was having a wonderful week, and then blammo! I got so enraged I think I permanently damaged my relationship by screaming at my boyfriend lots of cruel stuff.
So when the symptoms are gone, I'm just aaaaannnngrrry. I think even journaling may not protect me from an outburst because it came on so suddenly. The first time I did Sarnos book I had a panic attack so intense I basically left my last boyfriend's medical school graduation before meeting his parents. That was one of the events that might have led to our demise.
I pay lip service to all of this emotional stuff. But the reality is I forget how real it is and that I must be pretty emotionally challenged if I have a body that has: psiriosis, tmj, back spasms, acid reflex, severe gluten intolerance, etc. I've had life threatening disease as well, but somehow managed to survive.
Does anybody take medication? When I take OCD medication I seem to get suppppper angry and when I take mood stabilizers my pain goes up significantly. The only thing that helped briefly was an antipsychotic, which would have been wonderful, but I gained 10 lbs almost overnight and then began obsessing about weight. And now it really doesn't seem to work anymore.
So what to do with all that anger and anxiety? Any suggestions would be really welcomed. This site has really inspired and given me hope. If you guys can't offer a solution I don't know who can!
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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2008 : 15:10:31
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I have anxiety and panic disorder. I know the rage episodes well, I have them. I do not take meds nor do I plan to. I am working with a counselor and hopefully that will help in time. I am supposed to now look beyond the rage and instead of looking at I was mad at so and so because they this or that. I am supposed to look at how the thing made me feel. It is interesting to look at it that way. Example, I was livid because something my hubby should have discussed with me, he just left and did it without saying a thing to me. I was MAD, but the whole thing I am supposed to look at is not ok I am mad at him for doing whatever. I am supposed to say ok I felt like this when this happened. Then I am supposed to use self talk and remind myself that indeed I am not invisible and I do matter.
Have you tried that type of approach? Looking at how you feel inside?
I am also supposed to be working on an exercise plan to get rid of the extra adreneline and stress. Tried that? |
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hematite
USA
21 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2008 : 16:01:46
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| It sounds good whatever you're doing. I'm a little confused about the method you speak of. What is the difference between rage and what you are feeling inside? |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2008 : 19:04:02
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quote:
So when the symptoms are gone, I'm just aaaaannnngrrry. I think even journaling may not protect me from an outburst because it came on so suddenly. The first time I did Sarnos book I had a panic attack so intense I basically left my last boyfriend's medical school graduation before meeting his parents. That was one of the events that might have led to our demise.
You need to really start paying attention to what the root causes of all this anger are. We don't snap for no reason, usually it's compiled stress/rage being expelled at one point in time. This other stress can come from anywhere, but pay special attention to personality characteristics (perfectionism, goodism, low self-esteem) that is driving you up the wall. The worst part about personality characteristics is that they're integrated into the psyche and so you can't run away from them.
Once you start figuring out why you are having these sudden bursts of anger, you'll start seeing patterns. The more attention you pay to it the more it will start to seem like that movie Groundhog's Day. You repeat your same actions over and over again. The more you become aware of these patterns the easier it is to finally start to let them go.
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I pay lip service to all of this emotional stuff. But the reality is I forget how real it is and that I must be pretty emotionally challenged if I have a body that has: psiriosis, tmj, back spasms, acid reflex, severe gluten intolerance, etc. I've had life threatening disease as well, but somehow managed to survive.
I've had more disorders than that, and my emotional problems (as near as I can tell) all boil down to only one thing.. and that is low self-esteem. Don't get caught in the thinking that you must have some chaotic emotional problem in order to have all of these TMS episodes. Even little things like having to do the dishes and vacuuming can cause enough emotional build-up to cause TMS. The only problem you're having is you aren't fully aware of the dimensions of emotions you're actually generating.
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Does anybody take medication? When I take OCD medication I seem to get suppppper angry and when I take mood stabilizers my pain goes up significantly. The only thing that helped briefly was an antipsychotic, which would have been wonderful, but I gained 10 lbs almost overnight and then began obsessing about weight. And now it really doesn't seem to work anymore.
Classic symptom-imperative and placebo effects at work. When you start "treating" one symptom, your brain adjusts and starts ramping up another one to compensate and hold onto its strategy.
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So what to do with all that anger and anxiety? Any suggestions would be really welcomed. This site has really inspired and given me hope. If you guys can't offer a solution I don't know who can!
You recognize it. Say to yourself "I'm angry" or "I'm feeling pretty anxious" and leave it at that. Emotions come and go. It's constant flux. The problem that us emotional repressors run into is that we don't acknowledge the way we're feeling at all. We hide things from ourselves until it gets to the point where it's too much and we develop TMS or any of it's armada of equivalents. You have to "come to terms" with the way you're feeling. That's how emotionally healthy people run their lives, and it serves as the model for the rest of us recovering.
Author of tms-recovery.com
A collection of articles on emotions, lifestyle changes, and TMS theory. |
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qso
USA
52 Posts |
Posted - 01/13/2008 : 17:43:44
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Hematite (and others) -You may also benefit from some deep meditation techniques. Before I had TMS I thought meditation was simply extreme relaxation. I was so wrong - it is a powerful probe of the subconscious murky depths. Be warned -you will find some nasty stuff down there. I found things I had been carrying around for 35 years and didn't even know it. However, after the initial shock, it was a huge relief and purging- before that I had always thought I was looking for something but never knew what it was. I get less angry now with everything. The following book shows you how to do it and I highly recommend it: "The Journey" by Brandon Bays.
QSO |
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rage when not obsessive
