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CFSgirl
Canada
9 Posts |
 Posted - 11/18/2007 : 18:58:06
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I had CFS for six and a half years and was unable to work. After I read The Divided Mind four months ago, my recovery began. It has been so fast that it is hard to believe. I am returning to teaching two days a week - but my GP is completely caught up in feelings of rage towards me. He says that I have control issues and that until I deal with them I won't be any better. He doesn't understand TMS at all, nor is he interested. He is furious that I went ahead and stepped up my volunteering hours without consulting him - he is an extremely cautious man - fair enough, but I think he feels betrayed in some way. I recovered after reading a book - and after he'd spent six years filling out forms to justify my disability claim. He went so far, in fact, in our last meeting as to say that I was putting myself ahead of my students and that I wasn't thinking of them but only myself in my return to work. He also said, popping his head back in the door after leaving and shaking his index finger at me that, "You have not finished with CFS.... You've got to take care of your health." Neither myself or the person with me had a clue what he was talking about. The session got really nasty and I'll have to find a new GP.
I don't want to hold back more than I feel is right. I feel great when I get home from volunteering and am even cooking dinner on those nights and managing well with my kids. After six years with this illness, I'm pretty comfortable with my ability to forsee a crash. I believe that Dr. Sarno is right when he says that we have to try to increase our activity to pre-illness levels as quickly as we can without feeling pain (which in my case I take to include fatigue).
Thankfully my family are great and they reassure me that my Dr's description is not accurate. Ironically, my philosophy of education involves giving up a great deal of control over my students' learning.
This undermining of my recovery by my doctor did lead to my first experience with the symptom imperative, however. My knee has decided to hurt for no good reason. Rather than worry, I laughed when it happened. Now I know how to talk to my subconscious and tell it to step down.
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lidge
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2007 : 19:40:47
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CFSgirl- what an incredibly bizarre GP you have! Has he never heard the expression- don't argue with success! Most doctors don't take chronic fatigue very seriously, so perhaps he felt you "owed him one" for helping you get on disability. Whatever the reason, the "nocebo" he hurled at you is pitiable- if nothing else your recovery has uncovered the fact that your GP had some interest in keeping you sick.
Many months ago I actually went to a psychologist and proposed Sarno's theories as perhaps applicable to my situation. He told me virtually the same thing- that I was looking to control the situation. Unlike you, I did not have the courage of my convictions and it has cost me many months of pain and misery. I applaud you for having the fortitude to press on- the best of luck to you CFS girl! |
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mcone
114 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2007 : 20:25:11
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quote:
Originally posted by CFSgirl
He says that I have control issues and that until I deal with them I won't be any better.
A few things jump out at me from the account you've provided. You indicate that your GP doesn't understand TMS at all. Yet, the GP's statement seems to be implying that your psychological disposition (i.e. "control issues") are playing a role in your condition. Isn't that an acknowledgment of mindbody?
My reading on CFS suggests bewilderment on part of medicine - multitudes of different hypotheses and marginally useful treatments - but no consensus on exactly what causes or cures CFS. What methods has he been using to treat you? and how does he come off believing that he knows better than to pursue the Sarno approach, or that he even knows anything definitive, for that matter, about CFS?
Congratulations on your success!
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lidge
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2007 : 11:31:07
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That's a good point Mccone= seems her GP was saying she could get better if she dealt with her control issues - very odd.
CFS Girl- was it this same GP who diagnosed you with CFS in the first place? |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2007 : 14:01:19
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CFSgirl, wow. It is too bad your GP reacted that way. It sounds like you are doing exactly what feels right to you. That way lies good health! Congratulations.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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CFSgirl
Canada
9 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2007 : 21:33:31
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Thanks everyone for your encouraging words. One of the most interesting facets of my recovery is that I've become far less controlling over time. I used to be so frightened of being taxed for fear of becoming worse that I felt that I really needed to control my environment. I am now able to let go and enjoy my children and husband in a whole new way. It is wonderful to have the energy to play and the freedom to do so without fearing a crash.
As far as work goes, control goes hand in hand with teaching, but I've always felt that my job was to control the environment and some of the variables - not the kids. Nobody can control another person let alone 20-30 of them.
I have to believe in myself enough to know when I am pushing myself to hard - all of us with TMS must learn this lesson - pushing beyond the subconscious's comfort level requires a lot of work psychologically. It is something to be approached gradually and with a great deal of care. Luckily we now know what the subconscious's response will probably look and feel like.
Take care everyone. |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 11/20/2007 : 07:22:39
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Ugh, it's stories like this that add to my total disdain for some of our "respected experts". Totally mind blowing when you think of how someone's ego my come into play with someone's "treatment". I would ditch him too. Almost sounds as if he WANTS you to be sick to prove himself justified in something. Weirdness.
I have to throw myself into the medical whirlwind too here soon (for my sleep problems). I am NOT looking forward to more Doctors and tests. I've had enough over the years telling me everything and fixing nothing.
Yes, I have a stick up my butt for the medical field if that isn't obvious by now.
What's funny is my Mother is involved very deeply in the Medical field. She feels the same way. But she was a career nurse, and nurses are Angels surrounded by Satan. |
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JohnD
USA
371 Posts |
Posted - 11/20/2007 : 07:38:56
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| As sad as it is that a Doctor would act that way, and you definitely deserve better! But at the end of the day its just one peron's opinion. I don't think of my doctor as a respected expert, I think of him as someone who has good diagnostic tools (blood tests, Xray, MRI etc...) who I can consult from time to time when I make decisions about my health. |
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 11/20/2007 : 16:17:31
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I think it was a John Lee book which explains that unreasonable anger is not usually related to the present situation but relates to something that happened in the angered person's past which is being resurrected.
Or perhaps he has had disagreements with fellow medics who insist CFS is psychosomatic and you have just ruined his argument.
It causes great debate here in the UK. |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 11/20/2007 : 17:45:37
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quote:
all of us with TMS must learn this lesson - pushing beyond the subconscious's comfort level requires a lot of work psychologically. It is something to be approached gradually and with a great deal of care. Luckily we now know what the subconscious's response will probably look and feel like.
Wow CFSgirl - that is a great line.
I have just pushed myself too hard, and got into physical trouble. I'm noticing how relieved I am that the minor drama of what is happening to me (I hemorrhaged - it's hard to argue with blood loss) has brought in several friends to care for me. I am dealing with the loss of my remaining family of origin in UK - not that they are any kind of support for me. But I'm aware that my subconscious doesn't know this and is scared, so it found a serious symptom I couldn't work through at the gym (although I tried, which is part of the problem).
Well, back to the drawing board.
Thanks for your inspiring news. Also, please change your name, to Gettingbetterallthetimegirl or something.
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 11/21/2007 : 20:07:37
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I'm thankful for your great dose of self-confidence to take on a wacky doc. Sounds like you've got the right attitude to find a new doctor!
Rock on! I agree with Penny on the name change, though. You are no longer your symptoms... |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 11/22/2007 : 23:35:35
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Sarno: 512,321
GP: 0
You win !
Take care, -Stryder |
Edited by - Stryder on 11/22/2007 23:37:11 |
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Enraged GP
