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lidge
USA
184 Posts |
 Posted - 10/07/2007 : 11:56:48
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At least one member has mentioned that he lost a parent early in life.
I am curious as to whether this early loss of parent or someone else close like sibling is more common in those with TMS than the general population. Of course that leads to all sorts of problems but just taking a very unscientific show of hands.
I think Sarno mentions early loss- are we part of that 20% for whom just "knowing" is not enough and therapy is a must?
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sensei adam rostocki
USA
167 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 12:36:40
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ANY loss can contribute to TMS or any other psychological or psychosomatic problematic condition. Death or divorce can leave bitter scars on any young person as it did in my case. This is an aspect of my childhood which never occurred to me until I worked on curing my TMS. I found myself completely surprised by the huge anger I felt having to grow up without any father or father figure. It was certainly a major contributor for me...
CURE-BACK-PAIN(dot)ORG |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 07:40:23
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From Dr Sarno's MindBody Prescription:
Many years ago New York psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe studied the causative role of stressful life events “in the natural history of many diseases.” They reported on a list of these events, some of which were negative but many identified as socially desirable and “consonant with the American values of achievement, success, materialism, practicality, efficiency, future orientation, conformism and self-reliance.” The list is reproduced here. We postulate that these events produce “disease” through the mechanism of internal rage. The events are listed in order of decreasing stress:
1. Death of a spouse
2. Divorce
3. Marital separation
4. Jail term
5. Death of close family member
6 . Personal injury or illness
7. Marriage
8. Fired at work
9. Marital reconciliation
10. Retirement
11. Change in health of family member
12. Pregnancy 13. Sex difficulties
14. Gain of a new family member
15. Business readjustment
16. Change in financial state
17. Death of a close friend
18. Change to different line of work
19. Change in number of arguments with spouse
20. Mortgage over $10,000 [in the 1960s]
21. Foreclosure of mortgage or loan
22. Change of responsibilities at work
23. Son or daughter leaving home
24. Trouble with in-laws
25. Outstanding personal achievement
26. Wife begins or stops work
27. Begin or end school
28. Change in living conditions
29.Revision of personal habits
30. Trouble with boss
31. Change in work hours or conditions
32. Change in residence
33. Change in schools
34. Change in recreation
35. Change in church activities
36. Change in social activities
37. Mortgage or loan less than $10,000
38. Change in sleeping habits 39.Change in number of family get-togethers
40. Change in eating habits
41. Vacation 42. Christmas
43. Minor violations of the law
Both positive and negative stress generate unconscious anger, whether or not one is consciously angry. Accumulated anger is rage, and frightening, unconscious rage leads to the development of physical symptoms.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Read chapter 4 of Dr. Sarno's "The Divided Mind." Also chapers 3, 4 and 5 in Dr. Scott Brady's "Pain Free For Life" are very important. |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 09:29:09
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quote:
Originally posted by sensei adam rostocki
I found myself completely surprised by the huge anger I felt having to grow up without any father or father figure.
me too bud...me too |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 10:13:20
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My Mom and Dad divorced when I was 14 and Mom brought me up. I never had a male role model growing up to socialize me as a responcible male and I feel this is a source of my internal rage.....
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Read chapter 4 of Dr. Sarno's "The Divided Mind." Also chapers 3, 4 and 5 in Dr. Scott Brady's "Pain Free For Life" are very important. |
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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 13:03:01
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| My TMS symptoms started the same year (1999) in which I lost my father and then a month later my brother. So although I can't be sure I'm harboring any deep rooted anxiety over their deaths (early but exptectant death of my brother at age 44), it is worth pondering because I never had a symptom until about 5 months after the passing of both. |
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sensei adam rostocki
USA
167 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 19:24:15
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Hi Shawn, Very similar to my situation, except my folk were divorced before I was born. I met my dad at 21 for the first time after years of being told what a bastard he was. In addition, when mom was mad, she would say the worst things possible to me as a kid..."You remind me of your father. You are acting just like your father."
It turned out that dad was a good guy after all (for the short time I get to know him prior to his death). Made me see my upbringing and the psychological issues it created from an entirely new perspective...
CURE-BACK-PAIN(dot)ORG |
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lidge
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 20:28:03
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You are a wonderful group of people here. I am sitting here trying desperately to make the connections that you have to rid yourself of pain. Your posts trigger things for me. But the pain today is
unbearable.
I'm sorry I didn't mention divorce. Yes of course its a horrendous loss.
Adam- your mom sounds like my grandmother who raised me-when she got mad she compared me to my father who she did not like.
Checked out your website- as I feel the pain surging through my lower back down my legs I am trying to keep some of the facts you mention
in mind. Wish my body would listen.
I have wondered whether others have been as desperate as I am now and your story answers it.
I appreciate so much everyone sharing- helps me believe and gives me
a bit of hope. |
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sensei adam rostocki
USA
167 Posts |
Posted - 10/09/2007 : 15:53:02
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Hi Lidge, Keep working at it. Sometimes, it takes a long time to sink in, but you will get there if you keep trying. Best, S.A.R
CURE-BACK-PAIN(dot)ORG |
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holly
USA
243 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2007 : 16:18:06
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| The loss of my dear mother was a BIG TMS ignighter and still is after 5 years. |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2007 : 16:43:25
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quote:
Originally posted by lidge
Adam- your mom sounds like my grandmother who raised me-when she got mad she compared me to my father who she did not like.
Checked out your website- as I feel the pain surging through my lower back down my legs I am trying to keep some of the facts you mention
in mind. Wish my body would listen.
Sensei Adam is a sneaky dude
you have to be careful on his website if you heard of it thru here. You could get lost in the "structural".
However, his website appears to have been created to "bait" and "lure" back pain sufferers looking for a structural cure and cleverly lead them to the "true cause" and cure(what we know of here) of their pain. Very clever, very sneaky.
This in turn doesn't scare off the "oh it's not in my head crowd".
I highly reccomend slapping down the 10 bucks and downloading his E-book. It was easy to do, and has been instrumental in my recovery.
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lidge
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2007 : 17:03:06
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Skizzik-
I figured that one out Skizzik. Didn't download the book but
I sensed that was the crux of it. You two aren't a tag team are you? |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2007 : 17:49:39
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te he,
Lets just say I feel like I owe him more than 10 bucks for the 78 pages he sent me.
He doe'snt say too much here. But boy does he get down and dirty in his book. You wont hear him promote it here. I highly doubt he makes any decent income off it. But I'm glad I got it. |
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Topic |
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Early Death of Parent or Loved One
