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csmoon
USA
38 Posts |
 Posted - 09/13/2007 : 07:39:19
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I read Dr.Sarno's book about three weeks ago, and have listened to the audio program every day since. Challenging my fearful mind and doing things that I wouldn't dare think about in the months prior has been unbelievably liberating.
This morning I woke up with a dull stiffness, but no pinching, burning, and shooting pain, such as I have hed for some time now. I also noticed that most of my discomfort was on the right side. This confirmed for me that tension is my entire problem, not some disease. I have regained full range of motion in my shoulder, which was all but useless a short time ago. Last night as I lay in bed, I started to get back some of the sentimentality that has been lacking in me for longer than I can remember.
I credit this to ignoring pain and paying attention to life. I didn't say this was easy, as it was not. I now see that permanent resolution of this menacing pain is within our reach. I have also paid very close attention to my temper and my tendency to catastrophize about how I felt, political strife, monetery issues, feelings of guilt, resistance to anything that I did not want to do.
I have concluded that if I don't want to do something it is not because I fear the "doing" or the "thing," it is because I fear the feelings that come with the thing. These are attributed to embarrassment, self-consciousness, disgust, boredom.
My experience in the past two weeks has proven to me that TMS is a nervous disorder plain and simple, and that muscle pain like mine is nothing more than a heart palpitation or sweatiness or itchy feeling. As he states in Healing Back Pain: "Pain is, was, and forever shall be a symptom. If it is severe and chronic, it is because that which is causing it is severe and has gone unrecognized." My temper and negative attitudes have been severe and chronic much, much longer than my muscles have hurt. My frustration with the medical community has been palpable. My irritation with the perfunctories of life have also been registered by anyone who ever met me in the past 20 years.
I am forever indebted to Dr. Sarno for the hope that I now feel for a normal life. |
Edited by - csmoon on 09/13/2007 07:42:48 |
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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 09/13/2007 : 09:10:21
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CSMoon, Reading your post this morning filled me with gratitude. I never noticed that quote before -- it's a good one.
You are not your thoughts. You can change your thoughts. This was the message that started sinking in for me during my recovery from TMS. (full disclosure: that particular phrasing is shamelessly (!) borrowed from the pop spirituality memoir, Eat, Pray, Love)
:) cb
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 09/14/2007 : 09:03:11
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quote:
Originally posted by csmoon
I have concluded that if I don't want to do something it is not because I fear the "doing" or the "thing," it is because I fear the feelings that come with the thing. These are attributed to embarrassment, self-consciousness, disgust, boredom.
Wow ... wow .... wow! CSMoon, what you have discovered (and articulated above) in just 2 short weeks, some of us have taken ages to understand. Thanks for so concisely caputuring and sharing the essence of TMS. Good work! Now, let the tears flow, pillows be punched, and party on!!!!!!!!
>|< Penny
"Feeling will get you closer to the truth of who you are than thinking."
~ Eckhart Tolle
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csmoon
USA
38 Posts |
Posted - 09/14/2007 : 11:13:12
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Penny,
Many thanks for your kind words. I went through some pretty intensive therapy for anxiety a coupleof years ago, so I kinda got a head start toward dealing with this thing. The effect was the same with pain or any of the symptoms I was so scared of when my anxiety was at its worst. It stultified me. I became obsessed about it. But I didn't see it as a distraction, necessarily, from worry and anger, I see it as a simple result. I'm not trying to argue theory, just let you know that I am dealing with pain just like I used to deal with insomnia, heart palpitations, termors, and other nervous symptoms.
What got me thinking this way was reading the success stories forum over and over as well as reviews of Dr. Sarno's books. I started to see people who got better from challenging the pain without psychotherapy or deep journaling or scrubbing out their subconscious feelings. I don't know that many won't need that. But I am so aware of my past and all its scars AND of my personality and its trappings that I felt I could do this.
But I'm not out of the woods yet. I have plenty of staring down left to do because of my lack of confidence in doing things. These I will take on one by one until I no longer need to joust windmills in my mind.
Sincerely,
Don Quixote |
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Pinching myself
