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basil
52 Posts |
 Posted - 07/14/2007 : 12:41:53
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Hello all
I am about 6 weeks into the whole TMS business with my so called RSI. I really can't tell if I have improved. Still have the 24/7 ache jumping from finger, hand to my other arm then back to my other arm. Its like muscial chairs with the flipping pain. I've had two half days nearly free of pain which was nice.
I have tried the Fred Amir's technique of positive thinking but I can't keep it up and Marc Sopher says positive thinking isn't required. The goals and targets technique doesn't really work for me because the pain is always at the same level and then dissapears when I exercise. Nothing really poses I threat physically. for me to do Everytime I get somewhere I get so positive but then I just get a slap in the face again. I know I shouldn't be posting this and I have resisted for so long but I think I need a kick up the backside and some reassurance. I want my life back so much.
I have decided to leave my part time job as it stresses me so much and the people there constantly make jokes out of how I am feeling. I have gone from been what they thought as confident to pretty much a nervous wreck. I need get back on track with my ambitions for my career and other things.
I find journalling really hard and its making me quite depressed. I find myself questioning everything I do or how react to situations and I think I might be losing the plot. The depression is making the whole situation worse.
My girlfriend is finding it very hard to handle my depression at the moment as I have gone from been so driven to virtually wanting to do nothing. A few people have suggested I go to the Doctors for the depression as I really don't know how to get myself out of this.
I have read divided mind, mindbody presciption and Fred amir's rapid recovery. I also tried a technique called the journey which helped me to understand some of my problems. I think I got alot more to got through though.
I am considering getting maybe Sarno's DVD set or Dr Schechter DVD, audio and workbook set.
TMS must be correct as people here have recovered from RSI and now there is even people on the RSI UK forum who have also recovered after reading Sarno's work.
I think I am just very confused at the moment what I should be doing. I think the worse thing I am doing is condemning myself to failing already. Something keeps saying to me in my head. When I first started a voice kept saying to me that I would not recover when finishing the book or after the first 2 weeks or even the first month.
Gaaaah!
Sorry people I think I just need to rant a bit. I know it sounds weird but If I was unable to do physical stuff but then started to improve and could I could take that as a sign of improvement. Maybe I am just worrying too much.
Any extra suggestions would be greatly appreciated. |
Edited by - basil on 07/15/2007 07:29:04 |
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Sky
USA
96 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2007 : 13:51:52
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Hi Basil,
your typing pain is TMS.
I had the WORST RSI pain from TMS, and reading Sarno's "The Mindbody Prescription" healed it. Entirely.
Address your emotional pain. Address your repressed emotions. Let your world open up to amazing, liberating, albeit life-changing possibilities.
I often find that when I feel a stressful thought or emotion I do'nt want to face, facing it is like getting on a roller coaster for the 1st time. It's scary as hell, the ramifications are petrifying, but once you're on that ride, and life speeds up amazing fast, you find it incredibly liberating and fun, and you realized that all along your fears weren't really well founded. And you'll be ever so happy you got on that ride.
So address your true feelings. Embrace them. Feel them. And feel your pain go away. It may not be immediate, but you ARE on the right track.
I have learned that typing doesn't cause pain. Emotions do.
I'm looking forward to hearing about your recovery and how it happened for YOU. Best wishes, and best of luck. I'm thinking of you. |
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alexis
USA
596 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2007 : 14:02:31
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Hi Basil, I very much remember the "musical chairs" pain you describe from both before Sarno and my first weeks of recovery. Also the disappearance (or unimportance) of pain while I was at the physical therapist lifting weights (something I stopped shortly after starting the sarno approach). The moving constantly around was the weirdest thing -- never fit the symptoms for any "real" condition, and of course it was so depressing.
I wasn't working during recovery because I had already lost my job, and while that had it's own negatives, I don't think it was all bad. At least not in the early stages of recovery. It gave me time to think and read and be away from what were probably some of my instigating stressors. There are other things you can do while starting to get back on track...studying a language, for instance, or even something totally different. I have talked a bit here about my clay work and how that allowed me a great new and fun way to use my hands and regain confidence.
Yes, getting back to work was important at the end of my recovery (I'm full time now with no problems). But there are a lot of valuable things you can do with your time other than working (exercise, self growth, volunteering, studying, spending time with your dog or family or just contemplating the world). Work isn't the end-all-be-all.
Good luck, and don't worry too much about what you think you are doing wrong or "should" be doing. I think it's the "shoulds" that get you. If you concentrate on understanding your own situation, and using your hands, even if it's not at work, I think it likely that you'll soon be on the right track.
I never did the goals and targets really, and not the rewards thing either. For me it was knowledge, a bit of self understanding, and working at a moderate pace to use my hands in new and enjoyable activities. Stick to it, and do what feels right for you.
Oh, and I had lots and lots of doubts like you did. But they cleared more and more, and now its almost unimaginable that I would ever suffer with RSI like that again. |
Edited by - alexis on 07/14/2007 15:30:19 |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2007 : 15:43:16
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Hi basil,
Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. I can totally empathise with you. I know that it can be disheartening when the pain lingers like this, but you have to keep going. If journaling is making you depressed and feel worse, then don't do it. I personally stopped doing it and I know from reading on here that it doesn't work for everyone. I also found that it made me depressed, as I was focusing on all the negatives in my life.
I know it's hard, but try to ignore the pain and get on with life. Do things that you enjoy, be it sport, reading, going the cinema...anything as long as it gives you some pleasure. I find that the thing that works for me is to take my mind off the pain and do normal things. I believe that this signifies to my brain that the pain isn't going to rule my life and stop me doing things.
Focus on the positive that you had two half days nearly pain free. I know it might not seem like a lot, but it's something. You have to completely believe that it is TMS and there is nothing to worry about physically. Perhaps deep down a part of you hasn't fully accepted that and that's why the pain is persisting. You have the hallmarks of classic TMS - the pain moving around, the pain disappearing during exercise then your muscles are being oxygenated, random periods without pain, etc. Stop letting the pain dominate your life!
I personally wouldn't recommend going to the doctor for depression at this stage. All they are likely to do is fob you off with some anti-depressants and you don't want to go down that route, trust me. Try to up your exercise instead. You seem to enjoy it and it eases your pain and will release endorphins which will naturally lift your mood.
Just don't give up. There are lots of others who go through exactly what you're going through.
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stanfr
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2007 : 17:06:19
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| With all respect to the previous poster, i would strongly disagree. If you are dealing with depression as a result of journaling, then that is a big red flag that there are unadressed/repressed issues that need to be addressed. If the depression is too much, i strongly suggest you get help from a therapist or psychologist. It sounds to me like you have deep-seated negativity. I do too, and trust me, it doesnt go away if you simply "move on with your life". Yes, it will be tough, but i believe it is the only path to wellness. Once you've regained your emotional strength, you can move on, but those deep-seated issues mustbe addressed! |
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basil
52 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2007 : 18:16:03
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Thanks for all your support people. I feel a bit better, just came back from a good viewing of Die Hard 4.0, thoughtless viewing :) I always get a nasty attack in the cinema as thats where I had my first bad experience with this pain. Imagine that sitting in cinemas causes my hands to hurt more, madness.
I am disappointed with myself a bit for letting the gremlin beat me down again over the last few days. I am planning take some good time out to get this sorted now.
Sky, thanks you for your kind words. I think I am truly scared of facing some of my problems.
Alexis, I am glad you took time to reply to my problem. I read your story with great interest and how you worked with the doubts of the whole concept. The clay classes are a brilliant idea as I am a bit artistic and also the learning a language while I recover. That would be a huge confidence boost. Actually thinking like that is quite exciting now that I have the time to explore new things instead of painting pixels 24/7 on a computer screen :)
Hi Gemma, the journaling is a big problem for me. I try digging things up which sometimes makes me question myself alot and sends me round in loops. Although I do notice when I try a big journaling session or essay style problem list before I know I am off doing something else. Its like my mind wont concentrate on getting it down on paper. No way will I give up, I can't stay like this as it just doesn't make any sense.
Stanfr you hit the nail on the head so to speak. I have always been a very negative person which people have pointed out to me but since the RSI has started I have only just realized how much damage being negative has done to me. I have been referred for therapy and I am waiting for my appointment which will probably be another 3 month. My girlfriend believes the depression is probably the bigger problem to get over as this is causing me to spiral into more painful episodes.
Tomorrow I will start fresh and plan on removing the negatives from my life. Thanks for your help people, I will get there eventually. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 07/15/2007 : 17:46:50
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Basil, it sounds like you are on the right track, as tough as it is. The kind of symptoms you are having, which are jumpy and intermittent and don't relate clearly to physical causes, are very typical of TMS.
It's not uncommon for depression to come up as you begin journaling to explore the emotional issues. I have not read all the responses here so I don't know if someone said this, but it's important to realize that depression is also a TMS equivalent. Depression comes from stagnant negative emotions, ones your brain does not want to deal with. Since pain is not working as a distraction anymore, your mind creates a disinterest in exploring emotions and a disinterest in doing things that may provoke emotions (i.e. everything). It is an excellent idea to get therapy, but you may be able to break yourself out of the depressive cycle before that by realizing that it is of itself only another distraction.
The fact that you cannot concentrate on journaling is telling. There is something that your brain very much does not want you to get to or stay with. Just try to stay with what you feel and keep trucking along. It might take a while to resolve things because you are doing the harder part of the work now, working with the actual emotions. Some people do have to do some of that before they get improvment.
Also remember that journaling is a release valve and a way to become more aware of things -- it's not really meant to make you question everything you do, or examine it minutely, so try not to go down that route -- but don't beat yourself up if you do, or whatever. You're just a person doing a pretty hard thing, it's not necessary to do everything right.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2007 : 14:40:10
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Hi Basil,
Sorry to hear you’re struggling. You did the right thing to post here and get encouragement.
quote:
I think the worse thing I am doing is condemning myself to failing already. Something keeps saying to me in my head. When I first started a voice kept saying to me that I would not recover when finishing the book or after the first 2 weeks or even the first month.
That strikes a chord with me. When I did The Journey I was told to picture myself in 6 months’ time and see what message I would give myself. I pictured myself being well, and I knew the important message for myself (while not yet well) was to tell myself to “believe in the healing process”, because I knew that not believing it was probably a hindering factor for me. I put up a big sign on my wall with that message, in a place where I would see it before going to sleep, to keep reminding myself.
When I got well, I changed that to “Yippee, it worked!”.
All the best,
Hilary N |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2007 : 20:03:26
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quote:
Originally posted by basil
I am about 6 weeks into the whole TMS business with my so called RSI. I really can't tell if I have improved. Still have the 24/7 ache jumping from finger, hand to my other arm then back to my other arm. Its like muscial chairs with the flipping pain. I've had two half days nearly free of pain which was nice.
Several red flags are right there in the first paragraph.
1. Don't try to monitor your progress or put a timetable on your recovery. Take a long-term view. Commit to a permanent change in the way you think about and react to your pain.
2. Stop thinking physical. You are still describing the pain in great detail. You should be ignoring it.
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I have tried the Fred Amir's technique of positive thinking but I can't keep it up and Marc Sopher says positive thinking isn't required.
More red flags. Don't search for a magic bullet. Don't believe you have to do this or that to get relief. Arm yourself with knowledge and recondition your responses.
quote:
I have decided to leave my part time job as it stresses me so much and the people there constantly make jokes out of how I am feeling. I have gone from been what they thought as confident to pretty much a nervous wreck. I need get back on track with my ambitions for my career and other things.
Good for you. Maybe the job was stressing you out more than you realize, on a much deeper level than you know.
quote:
I find journalling really hard and its making me quite depressed. I find myself questioning everything I do or how react to situations and I think I might be losing the plot. The depression is making the whole situation worse.
The depression is a symptom serving the same purpose as the pain. Sounds like you may be trying too hard to journal. Just pick up a pen and start writing whatever comes into your head and don't think so much.
quote:
I think I am just very confused at the moment what I should be doing.
You know exactly what you should be doing. It's described clearly by Dr. Sarno. Yet you keep searching for a different approach, a magic bullet. That in and of itself is a distraction. Recognize that and try to cut through that top layer of emotion and get to the root of what is going on inside. Clearly you are repressing something and your mind is desperate to keep you from feeling it. If you cannot make progress on your own, you might need to consider psychotherapy. |
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basil
52 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2007 : 15:11:11
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Thanks alot Dave. I always enjoy your responses as your tone always gives me the impression that it is 100% possible to recover from these problems.
Hi Hilary. The sign is a good idea. I might make a big design piece out of that. Will take my mind of things for a while :) The journey was very interesting but I found it very hard to let go. I am in contact with the therapist who gave me the treatment and she is such a nice person. She reassures me things will work themselves out and to stop worrying. Strangely enough the day before and the day I had the journey I was pain free. I felt a bit silly when I was there because I was so cheerful. They truelly were two beautiful days.
Hi armchairlinguist, thanks for your support. I think I may have bumped into your website about personal experience with TMS while I was researching on Google. Yes the journalling is very hard, I end up just wanting to play games or work on some 3D pieces. I am going to start using them as rewards now instead of the distraction :)
I think deep down somewhere in me I am still believing RSI is a problem and I know that is what is constantly making me obsess over my symptoms. I know this will take a while to drill into my subconscious. All I can say is this is one hell of life changing experience and I am very excited of the thought of been back to normal state of mind. I talked to my mum quite a bit about it and she has said all along it was tension from several things combined with my tendency to think the worse. She said something which has stuck with me which was that I can't see I way out of this but she is confident I will be fine. I just want to be able to create 3D models for games again! Not sat around stroking my silly arms.
Anyway I graduated today with a first in my Degree and I held it together all day in front of my family so thats some progress :) Now just to get this whole thing sorted so I can move on with my life.
Thanks all again and sorry for the original negative post as I know the forum is for TMS discussion not symptom padding.
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Struggling
