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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
 Posted - 07/12/2007 : 20:01:55
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Actually, I'm not sure.
I'm sure I'm not the only one having heard and read about how being angry all the time shortens your life. Never smile shortens your life. Being pissed off all the time shortens your life. This is typical blah blah based on stressed rats dying sooner or getting cancer.
However, being (almost childishly) angry at everyting that goes wrong, like rotten stinky garbage leaking on my new jeans or my hairbrush falling from the %$!@ curved sinkplateau (who makes those things curved anyway?) and breaking. But also being internally angry at people I don't know ("Yeah if you was with your friends you would probably laugh about the way I look. I wish you'd die in a car crash, you BIPED!"). Those attitudes that make me laugh a lot less ACTUALLY HELP TAKE DOWN A FLARE UP!
Are people like me, as the rats, shortening our lives and risking cancer for the sake of flaring down the flare ups? What are your thoughts?
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TMS is the hidden language of the soul. |
Edited by - Redsandro on 07/12/2007 20:04:12 |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2007 : 08:45:38
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My take on this is it's ok to express the anger (sadness, etc.) but staying seething or sad, which is "getting stuck", is where the problem lies. I will acknowledge that someone cut me off with a simple "nice going jack@$$" to myself, but that's the end of it for me. I'm not enraged and going to try to get back at him, give him the finger, etc. It was a momentary flare-up, feel it in that moment, and it fades away. I realize I may have cut someone off at some point, and nobody is perfect. With that I can move on.
Being pissed off all the time is considered being stuck in anger, and yes, could be subjecting yourself to growth of cancer. (see Mind/Body Health for research on cancer-prone personalities--it was an eye-opener for me).
Feel the feelings and let them fade. It works. If you're stuck in it, I would write (as I've done) and I have found really feeling the feeling brings out what could be underneath the initial reaction to the current situation. Reminders of a past situation?
-Lori |
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2007 : 11:57:13
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Thanks for the reply. This Mind/Body Health, is it a book? Keywords to search? Google provides me with fatigue syndrome information. I think that's not what you mean.
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TMS is the hidden language of the soul. |
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Sky
USA
96 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2007 : 12:27:11
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This reminds me of something I was thinking about today and meant to post.
Sarno opened up a whole new world for me. I realized being angry was natural and saw how it could be good to feel that anger, not suppress it.
Then I saw mention of Byron Katie on the website and read one of her books ("I need Your Love - Is That True?"). The book was awesome, not just in its discussions on love, but in its discussions on life in general. It made me start to think that any feeling of anger or sadness or loneliness might just be an opportunity to question your own thoughts and "unstuck" yourself from them.
In a way, Katie took my psychological knowledge (and emotional healing) a step further: Sarno taught me it was OK to feel angry. Katie showed me how I could address that anger and not hold it anymore. Had I not read Katie, I'd be stuck with the anger. Accepting it, but lacking tools that can often dissolve it by coming to terms with things you haven't yet been able to do.
So I recommend "I Need Your Love - Is That True?". If that sounds like too much of a love book, I'd try "Loving What Is," Katie's first book. I haven't read it yet, but I'm sure it talks about the things I got from "I need Your Love." Like Sarno, she sort of stumbled upon her ideas and then found them amazingly liberating, healthy, and helpful.
And if you do give these books a shot, let me and everyone else know what you think (if you have the time)! |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2007 : 09:00:04
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Thanks for the info, both.
@ Sky:
You reckon a female author can educate a male reader on an internal subject, since they are totally different species when it comes to that subject?
(Seriously, not a retorical question ;))
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TMS is the hidden language of the soul. |
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Sky
USA
96 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2007 : 13:09:39
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Redsandro,
my answer: TOTALLY.
First of all, despite my having chosen a somehow a possibly feminine-sounding name for this board :), I'm a guy and I think this book is still helpful for any type of person.
Katie works with all kinds of people, from all over the world, including hardened criminals who've killed people (she's done a lot of work in prisons), and she's had amazing success with ALL kinds.
Check the book out. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2007 : 18:11:31
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Redsandro, seriously...I can't even believe you asked that. Human wisdom is human wisdom regardless of gender!
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2007 : 05:33:52
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Armchair, as a side note, if I was just born into the world right now there wouldn't be a doubt. However, and ofcourse my findings are totally off the charts, I've had experiences regarding this very subject to the point where I wondered where on earth someone could find it in their heart to be so mean. Any conversation I got out of it made less sense than bringing a sailboat to a rockconcert. And I'm using a bad taste for humor here to illustrate a serious point.
Statistically speaking this is sort of accidental bad luck and no one will ever have to doubt the influence of gender on wisdom. For me however, gender and love are, amongst other things, catalysis and synthesizers for TMS.
Anyway, for me a book on this subject sounds very interesting but concidering the author I just had to ask. Sorry for exposing a weird point of view.
Disclaimer: Compared to my opinion this post is very tainted towards benefit of the doubt and doesn't necessarily express the way I think about it.
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TMS is the hidden language of the soul. |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2007 : 10:03:39
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You can check out Byron Katie's Web site and watch her interactions with different people (genders/ages/etc.) and the process here. IMHO it's quite remarkable, and so is she.
http://www.thework.com/index.asp
>|< Penny
"Oz never did give nothing to the Tinman that he didn't already have."
song lyric, America |
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2007 : 19:43:58
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Thanks for the info.
Unfortunately, the clips on the site and page 21 to 28 (of the Dutch translation) of the book made me loose sense of value and it has nothing to do with her gender :P. I think I won't be able to express my opinion about the book here, soon.
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TMS is the hidden language of the soul. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2007 : 01:09:52
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Well, FWIW, I find most of Katie's stuff completely meaningless because it leads to an endless cycle of questioning oneself. Not sure if that's what you're saying, and I know lots of people find it helpful, but there are certainly a variety of opinions around here.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2007 : 05:34:14
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From the small portions I read on 'preview' books (most major online book shops offer those) and ofcourse all the video's on the website , I've come do dislike her methods also. Too bad the people in front of her (the video's) are probably either having stupid demands or are too stupid to tell how it really is. For example, my mom has a complicated 'manual' and you have to carefully think through what pieces of information you will or will not hand over during a discussion. When disregarding this manual and simply making 'intelligent decisions', I still got an answer and getting it took shorter than having to be all diplomatic about it, except now we're in a fight.
Katie's right, I resolved my issue without a hazzle.
I feel bad though because in my opinion she was being irrealistic.
Oh yeah I'm supposed to turn that around...
I feel bad because I was irrealistic?
No %$@ way!
She feels bad because because I was irrealistic?
That's just a turnaround. I can't be absolutely sure.
Maybe I'm doing this all wrong but it makes me feel more stupid than I am. I prefer my own 'learning people's manuals' way.
Disclaimer: Sorry, this experience has more to do with 'The Work' than 'I Need Your Love, Is That True?'
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TMS is the hidden language of the soul. |
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Anger, good! Depression, bad!
