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bigbopper
2 Posts |
 Posted - 07/08/2007 : 11:57:41
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Hi,
I just started the TMS program--and the psychotherapy that goes along with it--and I would like some clarification. During therapy we'll starting talking about dating for instance, or more appropriately my lack thereof (due mainly, to intimicy issues). When the therapist asks, "what exactly scares you about dating?" my first inclination is to say, "I'm scared that I won't enjoy it because I feel like sh*t all the time." In fact, that seems to be my answer to a lot of questions..."if only I didn't feel this way..."
Another example would be my therapist asking me to imagine myself in the future happy and with a partner, yet I'll note that it's too hard to imagine myself without the pain because it's been around so incredibly long!
In both instances this is what my mind automatically defaults to.
Am I focusing too heavily on the physical? I mean it is a reality, that pain saps ones drive and interests and overall well-being. |
Edited by - bigbopper on 07/08/2007 12:26:34 |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 07/08/2007 : 15:47:30
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You seem to have fears about dating and that is psychological--not physical. I would strongly suggest putting to writing what scares you--start with your first thought on paper, then really FEEL what happens next and write it. There may be something under what you think is so simple. I'd start with really concentrating on what I am FEELING when I talk about dating and see where it goes. Say the thoughts out loud--fear of . . . or no, it's fear of (find what resonates in your body). . . and dwell on that a few minutes to see what happens. It may take you back to when you were little or a teenager, etc. You'd be amazed at what can come to you as you're writing.
A recovered TMS sufferer (read on success stories), writing about feelings was my biggest healer and as I was writing, more and more would come to me for some pretty long essays!
BTW, in other reading I've done, imaging is healthy and so imagining yourself in the future happy with a partner is healthy!
-Lori |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2007 : 07:59:28
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| Your responses are a defense. It is circular reasoning. "Feeling like sh*t" is a symptom. The "real" answers to those questions are much deeper and it's what your unconscious mind has been trying to prevent you from feeling. Stick with it. |
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bigbopper
2 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2007 : 08:35:09
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Thank you both.
One more question: how does one imagine themselves a future free of pain when it's been around so long they've forgotten when it feels like to be pain-free. |
Edited by - bigbopper on 07/11/2007 08:50:48 |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2007 : 09:17:51
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I think it's more important that you focus on the now and take each day as it comes. Of course, being in constant pain will sap your drive and interests, as you say. Focusing on a positive future can be very difficult when you're in that kind of mental state. When I've gone through periods of depression, I found it impossible to think of a happy future. I couldn't imagine ever feeling any differently to how I did at that time because it consumed me.
Just take things slowly and at the end of each day try to focus on something positive that you've done, however small or insignificant it may seem. Don't jump too far ahead of yourself. |
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newbie question here
