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Shary
147 Posts |
 Posted - 06/15/2007 : 08:09:42
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We recently lost Shawn from the forum due to a lack of hardcore Sarno purists. Unfortunately, for some of us a purely Sarno approach hasn't worked very well, sacrilegious as that may sound.
I thought I had TMS beat a month ago. Then I got hit with a major relapse. Pain in the shoulders, neck and hip. I don't know what else I can still journal about. I've hashed it out over and over again, and I've read all the literature backward and forward. I've acknowledged repressed/suppressed anger. Even found the causes of some of it. And I know which stressors are the major culprits in my life, some of which I have no control over. So why isn't Sarno's approach working? Could it be that TMS simply has to run it's course once it has acquired a stranglehold on us?
I had a bout with TMS about 15 years ago, although I didn't know it was TMS then. Back spasms and associated pain. It only lasted a couple of months. I did some PT and exercises, and one morning I woke up and it was completely gone with no serious recurrence until about a year ago. Not so this time. Could be that I didn't heed the wakeup call with that first bout of TMS...or any of the various penny-ante equivalents I've had in the meantime (allergies, skin problems, etc.) So now it's planning to be with me a while. I wonder how many TMS-ers have had this happen.
Meanwhile I've been walking, meditating and doing what exercises I can, trying to slog through the current relapse. Exercise and Ibuprophen. That's me. I know it's TMS because I have days when it almost disappears. But then it comes back and, from a psychological standpoint, I have to wonder how and why I'm failing.
I would like to publicly thank Sensei Adam for the off-the-cuff encouragement he's given me. Thanks Sensei! Minus Shawn, I think you would do a great job of holding the fort down on this forum if you can find the time. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 08:31:13
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Hi Shary,
Maybe you are trying to hard, and you are looking for a "fix" to your pain, and you would like the fix soon. "Slogging thru" your relapse as you say hints to me that you might be obsessing a bit and playing the movie over and over again in your mind. Same movie, again. Replay. Repeat. Rewind. Play. Rewind. Play. Again.
Of course, all of this is a perfectly normal response to the pain, since it is in the forefront of your conscious mind, taking up valuable time that you would rather be "normal" and doing things you enjoy. This is enraging to your inner child, making her very angry.
Maybe back off the exercising a bit and loose the NSAIDs, basically stop reinforcing a physical connection to the pain.
A TMS relapse is in some respects harder to deal with than the time of your initial awakening to TMS. It sews doubt in your mind, maybe TMS is a lie, just another placebo cure. Condsider the facts...your body is designed to self heal itself, so any minor injury will take care of itself. The pain comes and goes (over time), the pain can move around, TMS equivelants and substitute for pain. It makes sense that all this can't possible have a physical root cause. It must be the brain.
So take a deep deep breath, or 2, or 3. Have faith. Trust the diagnosis. Enjoy your life and cherish each day that is better.
If you have not already done so, take a look this thread... http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3591
Take care, -Stryder |
Edited by - Stryder on 06/15/2007 09:12:03 |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 08:57:26
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quote:
Originally posted by Shary
Could it be that TMS simply has to run it's course once it has acquired a stranglehold on us?
I think there is something to this, Shary. But I'm thinking the "stranglehold" is our conscious focusing on the pain, or paying ANY attention to it whatsover. For me when I focused on pain and failed to remind myself that the pain will not last forever, that's when it really took over. Pain is transient.
I have had TMS bouts of high blood pressure, and the more I focused/worried/thought about it, the higher it went. (I usually have completely normal BP.) When I don't allow myself to think about it at all--even when I have the BP headache and signs--is when it passes more quickly. I'm not checking it and obsessing over it. It's such a mind bender as high BP can really be fear inducing! This is the same with my pain manifestations. Instead of going to bed with a migraine, I force myself to scream/punch pillows and then do the usual things that are required of me in my life: making dinner, business meetings etc, with migraine in tow. The migraine passes WITHOUT drugs. It is NOT easy, b/c it's physically excrutiating, but over time I've been retraining my brain that it's "little tricks" (defined: awful pain Sx) are not going to stop me from doing anything.
(On a sidenote, I've been medically checked too many times to count for migraines and BP conditions, and have had everything "organic" ruled out, thankfully. It's important to get these Sx checked out by a doctor.)
>|< Penny
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."
The Great and Powerful Oz |
Edited by - Penny on 06/15/2007 09:06:28 |
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Shary
147 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 09:02:25
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Hi Stryder and Penny,
Thanks for your help. You're right. I probably am trying too hard. As for the NSAIDs, there are days when I can barely lift my arms because of the pain, much less live my life. I can't even sleep all night in bed and have to go sit in the recliner. I can usually stay off the pain reliever crap, but there are times (sigh) when there isn't much choice. I know this is obsessing and caving in to what my subconscious wants, but I don't know how to break the cycle when the pain gets so vicious that I can't even think about anything else. So back to journaling, I guess. Maybe something will come up to shed some light. |
Edited by - Shary on 06/15/2007 09:03:20 |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 09:11:39
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quote:
Originally posted by Shary
I know this is obsessing and caving in to what my subconscious wants, but I don't know how to break the cycle when the pain gets so vicious that I can't even think about anything else.
If you are asking what to do, Shary, Stay in bed, DON'T get in the recliner. Let the pain be there ... what is the worst thing that can happen if the pain heightens????? I know pain sucks, pain validates our humanity, our aliveness. If pain does intensify, what will happen to you? Cry? Get angry? Perhaps if you did nothing but allow it to literally break you, it will crest and emotions will flow that may be blocked.
>|< Penny
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."
The Great and Powerful Oz |
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salamander
85 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 09:35:36
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Shary,
Journaling never worked for me. Probably because in the midst of journaling, I also thought alot about my pain, and therebye kept playing that "broken record".
The only thing that worked for me was to simply get busy and ignore the pain as best I could. What kept me going was the knowledge that I could not hurt myself. I quite "testing" by back, knee, shoulder, etc.... Instead, I challenged my body by working out, cycling, walking.
When I hurt from doing simple things, I recalled all the endurance athletes like Tour de France bikers, or marathon runers that lived to tell about it, and then would get up and do it again the next day. In the end, it's all about moving on with your life....
Best,
Doug |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 11:31:53
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That rings true for me as well...Getting all tied up in knots because progress seems insufficient is counter-productive, leading only to greater anger and frustration, which often leads to greater pain...
I talk about this a lot, that we do not recover from chronic illness without altering to some degree the way we think about the world and our place in it...Greater humility, acceptance, gratitude for the health we do have, these are all good and positive things. Life does not owe us good health, and the notion that it does is in itself unhealthy.
I'm not talking to you Shary in particular, just speaking in general terms about what's worked for me...Always good to question our underlying assumptions. They're often so ingrained it doesn't even occur to us they might be wrong.
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Edited by - art on 06/15/2007 11:35:25 |
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stanfr
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 06/17/2007 : 01:13:32
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Shary: your story rings a bell with me. I too thought i had TMS completely beat 10+ years ago, because i used Sarno's plan and in 2 months it was gone, along with CTS and a few other equivalents. At the time, i kinda thought it was a one-time cure. The only time ive posted here prior to my relapse several weeks ago was a 'success story' i posted a few years back.
Well, i didn't realize how strong the symptom imperative was. At the time i thought my stress was largely due to disatisfaction at work and a failed relationship i was in. I didn't realize how important the loads of emotional baggage i had accumulated since birth were. So, now i'm dealing with equivalents that are harder to deal with than that bout i had a decade ago. I believe the key to recovery will be two-fold: making a strong commitment to resolving some of the underlying issues, through therapy and action, and as others have mentioned, making an effort to take control and move on. It definitely aint easy, but there's no real alternative. |
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Shary
147 Posts |
Posted - 06/17/2007 : 09:20:30
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Hi Stanfr,
For some reason, a second bout with TMS, following a number of years of having no pain at all, is much worse and much harder to get rid of.
I'm currently having some success in overcoming a relapse by using Fred Amir's 9-step plan for becoming pain-free. I've only been doing it for a few days and was initially afraid of setting my goals too high for fear of being disappointed. So I'm trying to be patient about progress. But I have been progressing, and that's the important thing. As one of my beginning goals, I have been able to get off the OTC pain relievers again, which weren't doing much good anyway. That's the thing about all that stuff, prescription and otherwise: it loses its effectiveness really fast and turns into nothing more than an emotional crutch with side effects.
Yesterday, using Amir's plan, I had about six hours in the afternoon and evening when I was almost completely pain-free. It's absolutely amazing how much your enthusiasm perks up when you don't hurt! I have promised my Inner Child a piece of raspberry-white chocolate cake (that I bought specifically for this purpose) if it does as well or better today. Silly as that sounds, it's part of Amir's overall plan espousing conscious empowerment--and it does seem to be working so far. Maybe that's partly because I'm not pushing so hard to get better immediately.
I also bought Schechter's work book (fairly cheap on Amazon) but haven't used it yet. I suspect it might be a waste of money--no more advantageous than all the journaling I've already done. |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 06/17/2007 : 10:09:50
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Hi Shary! I used Dr. Schecter's workbook years ago, and found it helpful in pinpointing events at work that set off a tms episode.
I read a book this week, The Five Things We Cannot Change - by David Richo. the five things or "givens of life" he describes are:
1 everything changes and ends
2 things do not always go according to plan
3 life is not always fair
4 pain is a part of life
5 people are not loyal and loving all the time
Acceptance of the givens, and a "yes" to what is, is the message.
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Edited by - altherunner on 06/17/2007 10:40:46 |
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So why isn't it working?
