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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
 Posted - 05/23/2007 : 19:54:07
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Folks,
I don't know what the heck is going on with me, but I am soooo freakin' angry about tons of stuff in my life. It feels like it's coming out of nowhere.
I suppose this is a good sign, since I'm actually feeling rage versus stifling my emotion into a TMS symptom.
But, NOW...what the hell am I going to do?
I really really want to punch my roommate in the face for being the cold nasty bitch that she is, and I'm feeling similar ways towards a few folks at work.
Help! How can I channel this rage into something productive?
I know I'm a conflict avoider under most cercumstances, so I'm def afraid to confront folks about **** that's bothering me when I'm literally boiling over with anger!!! Should I calm down somehow and then get some of my feelings about various stuff? If so, what's a good way to really let go of this rage?
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Edited by - carbar on 05/23/2007 19:54:30 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2007 : 00:08:30
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Hi Carbar,
What are the situations? Maybe we can help you plot some revenge without getting a criminal record--get mad and get even too.
What are TMS friends for, after-all.
Cheers,
tt  |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2007 : 06:30:16
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The conscious anger you are feeling is not the source of your problem. This is Sarno 101. You have to go below the surface of that anger. The source of your rage has nothing to do with what your roommate is doing, as strange as that sounds, but it is something deep inside of you, something about your personality characteristics, which is the ultimate source of your rage. It is tempting to lash out at others but looking inward is where you must begin.
Note, I am not suggesting you deny or try to repress those angry feelings. In fact, it is important to acknowledgement them. It has been my experience, however, that almost everytime I have been angry and lashed out at someone (for example at Tennis Tom) it has ALWAYS been at something other than who or what I am expressing my anger at. Conscious anger can act as a powerful distraction at what we are really enraged at. Think about it.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2007 : 08:11:32
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Write, write, write.
I was angry about something at work yesterday, took a piece of paper, and angrily wrote every feeling at the moment. Then shredded the paper. Truly felt better. Realized there wasn't a thing I could do about the situation, but there may be a time where I must speak to the person. But it's not yet.
WRITING truly helps. And yes, current anger can be a trigger for a situation from the past. Which is why I believe in writing about whatever comes to mind.
-Lori |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2007 : 08:14:57
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quote:
Originally posted by shawnsmith
It has been my experience, however, that almost everytime I have been angry and lashed out at someone (for example at Tennis Tom) it has ALWAYS been at something other than who or what I am expressing my anger at. Conscious anger can act as a powerful distraction at what we are really enraged at.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Makes sense to me Shawn. If I may extrapolate one step further, within the fundamentals of TMS theory; if, as Dr. Sarno theorizes in THE DIVIDED MIND, that TMS is a PROTECTIVE psychological device, and not a punishment, as Freud said, then I am serving a useful purpose by being so annoying (occassionaly).
I think I will change my monicker to Trojan Tom.
tt
 
Some of my favorite excerpts from " THE DIVIDED MIND " :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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Edited by - tennis tom on 05/24/2007 08:16:47 |
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electraglideman
USA
162 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2007 : 09:10:21
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Carbar, I understand the feeling of wanting to get physical. Thats the reason I go to the gym 4 to 5 times a week. You would think I was training for the Olympics. I do this to reinforce my belief that there is nothing physcially wrong with me. I also like the way it makes me look.
BUT, this does not get to the root of the problem. You do that by reading Sarno, journaling, and reading this forum on a regular basis. There are people here who are very knowledgeable on the subjest of TMS. I learn something new every time I visit here. Its kind of like having a free pass to see a shrink. |
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ralphyde
USA
307 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2007 : 09:42:00
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quote:
What are the situations? Maybe we can help you plot some revenge without getting a criminal record--get mad and get even too.
I assume tt was making a joke here, but knowing his political bent, I'm not so sure. But I am reminded of a song by the Steve Miller Band on the album, The Joker, in which he says something like:
"If somebody somewhere does you wrong...
Don't try to get your revenge...
'Cause that's when evil slips on in."
And this is so true, and the source of so much "evil" in the world, especially in the Middle East. When we try to get revenge, we become our own shadow and we become the "evildoer" that we think we are fighting.
Ralph
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2007 : 09:48:23
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While the conscious anger is not directly responsible for symptoms, it is good to feel any conscious emotions that come to the surface, at the time they appear, without censorship.
You may find it useful to go someplace alone and get angry. Punch a pillow and make believe it is your roomate. Scream at her, get it all out. Let the tears fly.
By feeling these emotions you may break through the surface and uncover hidden emotions. I did this exercise effectively once and it was cathartic. The anger turned to profound sadness as I began to feel emotions I didn't realize were beneath the surface. Just let the feelings lead you to wherever they want to go, don't fight them, don't censor them. You may learn about yourself, and in the process, release some of the pressure that causes TMS symptoms. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2007 : 13:07:21
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As usual I agree with Dave. Really experiencing the anger is something that TMS'ers need to practice since most of us have done a fabulous job of repressing and staying in our head.
You might want to also consider how this roomate that makes you angry might in some way be acting similarly to perhaps an even more important person in your life. It just depends on who the TMS generating feeling are connected to. |
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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 05/25/2007 : 14:36:34
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Hey folks,
Thanks for all the wisdom. Dave, I really needed the reminder that anger can lead elsewhere. I am def scared to really let it out physically, but I will remember that for next time. RE the roommate: I'm moving out soon, so maybe I can have a ceremonial burning of all her bad energy in my new place...with a favorite friend, yay for good energy. Haha, write a list and burn it, burn it! I quite like that notion.
I did talk to my therapist about this and worked out some repressed business related to my depressed mom and how the folks at work remind me a lot of her. So, I guess I'd better take Ms. Lori's advice and get it out on paper at the least.
Yall are awesome folks, thanks for your support.
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/25/2007 : 17:23:09
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carbar, I've found that work stuff can definitely be interrelated with, and dredge up, personal issues...it can be tough to remain professional in those situations too, and that can cause even more subc anger.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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on wanting to punch someone in the face
