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Shary
147 Posts |
 Posted - 05/16/2007 : 10:39:05
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Much has been said here regarding the inaccessibility of repressed emotions, probably as a result of what Sarno, et al, have written. I wasn't going to get into this, but my own experiences lead me to believe otherwise.
First of all, I have a problem with the idea that my mind is compartmentalized like a row of locked post office boxes. If I can access my autonomic nervous system by talking to my brain, which Sarno says is quite effective, then it stands to reason that I can also make contact with my unconscious/subconscious mind. Maybe believing this is possible, rather than automatically buying into what I've read or been told, is half the battle. I've been talking to my brain for months now, quietly encouraging it to be more upfront. But I'm finding that the results aren't always in easily understood format.
That being said, here's what I've been getting over the last week or two--and I may end up wishing I hadn't mentioned it! Every now and then, usually during meditation or mental quiet time, I get a visual thought or image presented to me in the form of a scene from some point in my life. It flashes into my mind and then disappears, almost like a photograph that has been stuck in front of my nose and quickly snatched away again. But even though the scene disappears immediately, it has breached my consciousness long enough for me to be able to think about it.
At first I didn't know what to do with these brief flashes of my life, which are almost always disturbing for various reasons. I wanted to blow them off and forget about it. But likely this is what caused my TMS in the first place, right? So I began gently reassuring my brain (sometimes out loud, when I'm alone) that no matter what this is about, I can accept and forgive, and it will be okay. For a while nothing happened. Then I began to think of these scenes as gateways. I probed a little deeper, following whatever path that was presented. I asked myself questions: Why did this happen? Or, Why did I react as I did? How did this make me feel? Was I hurt? Angry? Disgusted with myself?
Shawn, ACL, you are right in thinking there is repressed rage, among other emotions. I just didn't want to go there. But the origin is still unclear and, situationally, it isn't where I thought it would be. I've tried to probe further but nothing else comes up. Maybe it needs more time. Also, abdicating ownership of my problems by unloading the root of those problems on other people goes against the grain.
So now I'm not sure what to do with this information and don't know yet how it will affect my TMS. I realize some of you are going to say this comes from SUPPressed consciousness rather than REpressed unconsciousness, but again, that idea speaks to the mailbox theory. If Sarno and the psychiatric profession have rarely encountered this, it might be because the feelings that arise (embarrassment, guilt, deep-seated anger toward others, self-loathing) are so unacceptable that we can't share them.
Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing or something similar?
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2007 : 11:04:45
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quote:
Originally posted by Shary
Shawn, ACL, you are right in thinking there is repressed rage, among other emotions. I just didn't want to go there.
Trust me Shary, none of us want to go there as it is not an easy or enjoyable experience. There are things most of us would just as soon forget forever as they are too painful or embarrasing. But if we want to recover there are paths we will have to take which at times will be very rocky and painful, but that when the truth becomes manifest full healing will be the result.
Try not to concentrate too much on feeling emotions but on patterns of behaviour you have developed over time and how this behaviour has contributed to emotional repression over the course of your life.
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Sarno-ize it!
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Edited by - shawnsmith on 05/18/2007 13:36:32 |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2007 : 13:22:48
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The first time I experienced something that I believe was repressed emotion was when it became clear to me why TMS exists. It was so bad that the physical pain almost seemed better.
Not everyone experiences it that way, but it's not fun for anyone.
I think you are on the right track, with awareness and gentleness, and letting yourself take your own time. I think in time you'll figure out what you want to do with the insights you get. Writing them down can be helpful in the meantime (journaling). I ended up deciding to do therapy, but I imagine others end up just feeling comfortable with having found these things and integrating them over time into their minds.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2007 : 15:50:17
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quote:
Originally posted by Shary
Much has been said here regarding the inaccessibility of repressed emotions, probably as a result of what Sarno, et al, have written. I wasn't going to get into this, but my own experiences lead me to believe otherwise.
I completely agree.
Here is one of my favorite quotes on this subject from a great book on the inner child called "Healing Your Aloneness: Finding love and wholeness through your inner child" by Chopich and Paul.
"The child is the instinctual part of us, our "gut" feelings. The child has sometimes been referred to as the unconscious, but it is unconscious only because we have paid so little attention to it. The unconscious becomes readily available to consciousness when we wish to learn about it. Our inner child contains our feelings, memories, and experiences from childhood, which can be remembered when we seek to learn from our inner child." |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2007 : 15:58:40
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quote:
Originally posted by armchairlinguist
The first time I experienced something that I believe was repressed emotion was when it became clear to me why TMS exists. It was so bad that the physical pain almost seemed better.
I was so disconnected from my feelings that when I look back I actually experienced repressed feelings far before I realized them for what they were. My first of these feelings was bodily sensations of fear- difficulty breathing and talking. It was when I discussed some horrific dreams I was having with my folks and giving them information validating the TMS diagnosis. Now I see that experience as a fear of the repressed rage that was being triggered by the situation.
It was years later that I realized the purpose of the symptoms was to prevent the rage from surfacing. |
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Shary
147 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2007 : 21:20:58
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Thanks for your responses. I felt pretty silly posting this. I felt sure someone would say, You're making all this stuff up! It's nice to know other people have had similar experiences.
ACL, my flashes of insight are mostly just unpleasant rather than really awful--something I can face but would prefer to shy away from. That might be because the origin of these emotions is unclear. I sense that my inner child was acting out in some of these instances and I sense that rage is at the bottom of it, but I can't consciously feel the rage or track it to its source. Maybe that's still to come.
Miehnesor, I've had periods of extreme uneasiness, sometimes fear, without knowing why or being able to connect it to anything. I've always had very vivid dreams that are frequently unpleasant. Often I'm running away from someone or something, hiding in backyards, running through buildings, etc. Very exhausting! I don't know if it has any pertinence, but I was a sleepwalker. I don't do it anymore, but I did it off and on well into adulthood. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2007 : 04:08:38
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Originally posted by Shary
So now I'm not sure what to do with this information and don't know yet how it will affect my TMS.
Resume normal activity.
Some of my favorite excerpts from " THE DIVIDED MIND " :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2007 : 14:30:18
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I also have dreams that are unpleasant a lot - mostly involving trying to do something, and failing, thus making someone angry. Based on therapy yesterday, this is a core issue of mine. Dreams are definitely keys to the unconscious, and I try to write mine down when I can.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2007 : 17:27:27
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| Shary- Those sound like pretty scarry dreams. It's going to take some work to figure them out. You may want to keep a notepad near your bed so you can jot down some keywords just as you wake up so you can remember the details during that day and journal about them. Then over time you may start to see a pattern in your journal. Lots of luck with it. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2007 : 13:32:25
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I agree with Tom who gives you the admonition which he got from Dr. Sarno, which is to "resume normal activity." It is the number one best piece of advice that any TMS doctor ever gave.
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Sarno-ize it!
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Regarding repressed emotions
