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JBar
USA
3 Posts |
 Posted - 04/17/2007 : 10:31:19
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Hi all, I just found this forum -- just what I need right now. I could use some feedback from others with TMS. I'll try to keep it short. In 1991, right after getting married, I had a year of nasty low back and buttock pain, eventually I found Healing Back Pain and devoured it. I saw myself (perfectionistic, hard on myself, prone to obsessive worry), accepted the TMS diagnosis, and had resolution of my symptoms within about 2 months. That was followed by about 13 years of little or no pain, I could do pretty much any physical activity and totally saw my back as 'normal' and 'healthy' and it felt great. The cliche that Dr. Sarno's books changed my life and outlook was certainly true in my case.
Over the past two years however, my stiff, achy back has returned and I am getting pretty desperate because knowledge is supposed to be the cure and my knowledge of TMS doesn't seem to be helping me anymore. My aches and pains are not exactly the same as before and this perhaps is the trick my mind is playing because I wonder if there really is something wrong this time. The first really bad episode was about 2 years ago after lots of golf (classic trigger, perhaps). My low back muscles really tightened up and, this is the weird thing, my entire torso was bent sideways at the waist at a really sharp angle and I had about a week of exruciating pain and difficulty standing and walking before I slowly loosened up. Since then whenever I garden or do other physical activity I stiffen up and wake up the next day bent sideways with incredible stiffness, loss of motion, and pain. For about the past year I have had fairly chronic low-back stiffness with a few of these more-severe episodes with a bent torso. You may be wondering if I am dealing with any new stresses or anger-inducing situations. I've wracked my brain about this and nothing is apparent -- and I went through some pretty stressful stuff during my pain-free years.
Sorry for the long post, but it does help to write it down. Has anyone else had a relapse after a long period of being 'cured'?
Jeff.
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dwinsor52
USA
81 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2007 : 10:56:28
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| I have been going through a relapse after 2 years pain free. Prior to the last relapse I had another two years pain free. And I am still a work in progress, because I find fear creeping in. I don't doubt the diagnosis, I just have fear and doubt about my ability to overcome the relapse. My unconscious is working hard to keep fear in there, because I am recognizing that it's there but it catches me off guard. I would appreciate hearing from people as to how they overcame the fear after relapse. There is something about being pain free for a long time and then having it return that feels really, really scary. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2007 : 11:13:51
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quote:
and I went through some pretty stressful stuff during my pain-free years.
It's possible that recently there was just some kind of tiny straw that broke the camel's back, and that it's the backed-up reservoir of the old stressful stuff that's getting to you, so you might look at that stuff anyway. It's at least at place to start as far as journaling or introspection goes!
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2007 : 15:00:59
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I frankly don't believe that you have anything wrong with your back based on the symptoms you have described and what we know of back pain from Dr. Sarno's work. You may want to go back and read the psychology and treatment sections in "Healing Back Pain" and "Mindbody Prescription." Or, if you want a real eye-opener, then pick up Dr. Sarno's The Divided Mind. Dr. Sarno does recommend for those who have a relapse to seel psychotherapy. Perhaps this may be a proper course for you. After 13 years the mind tends to forget what it has learned regarding TMS and this reminder will do you a world of good. If I go a week without reading Sarno then I begin to feel the TMS slowly creeping back.
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Sarno-ize it!
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2007 : 15:01:42
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Jeff and Dwinsor,
Some get better just by knowing about the TMS process. Others get better thru psychotherapy. Have you worked with someone to help hold a mirror to your life and actions?
My recent posts in "Rage" are a testament to my relapse, and also, the amazing and supporting replies everyone provided there may give you some add'l ideas about the fear factor and the TMS revisitation.
I had therapy today and my therapist was pretty brutal with me, which is what I needed although I wish I didn't have to go thru it. He brought something up that I hadn't considered, which is pretty obvious to outsiders, but b/c it was so close to me I couldn't see it: For me, I've been squashed by bullies most of my life and never stick up for myself and this has created anxiety in me that may have led to my relapse. When I had the appt today, I was in physical agony and was able to channel the pain and my therapist did his job at pulling me by the hair thru it, to try to feel some of the emotion, instead of letting my body be the scapegoat. I'm still hurting today, but I feel some clarity, but I've still got to get up the mountain.
My point--in indulging you both with MY story--is that I could not do this on my own. I was physically fine 2 weeks ago, then BOOM! I was levelled. The most seemingly unsuspecting things can cause the brain trick of TMS, so if I were you (and I'm not, but I share this out of compassion), I suggest writing down everything that could be even slightly annoying or disturbing to your subc (inner child, ego) and start a dialog--at least with yourself, if you can't do therapy--and journal and channel to expel any possible gremlins that may be lurking and causing your pain.
If you have courage to look under every mental rock, you will get better. Welcome to our group ... the fact you found this site is a good omen. Listen to the recent Sarno interview (about 35 mins) and get retuned to what TMS is all about. This will get you in the mode of healing again.
Keep on keeping on!!!!
>|< Penny
Non illigitamus carborundum. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2007 : 15:16:17
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quote:
Originally posted by Penny
Jeff and Dwinsor,
He brought something up that I hadn't considered, which is pretty obvious to outsiders, but b/c it was so close to me I couldn't see it.
This is a good point to ponder upon because sometimes we think we know ourselves when in fact we do not. Often, it takes others to see something about ourselves that we fail to see due to our amazing capacity of self-delusion. We keep telling ourselves that "I am this or I am that" when those around us know that this complete hogwash. We continue to live with a lie of our own making and it is difficult to understand why we do that, except perhaps for the purposes of self preservation. A good elaboration on this topic can be found in "Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious" by Timothy D. Wilson, which I have read twice.
See: http://www.amazon.com/Strangers-Ourselves-Discovering-Adaptive-Unconscious/dp/0674013824/ref=sr_1_6/002-0899923-8192043?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1176844439&sr=8-6
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Sarno-ize it!
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vnwees
64 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2007 : 17:00:07
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Hi Jeff;
Yes, I too had several successful years of sarno under my belt then had new (and different and sometimes quite severe) pain kick my butt for 9 months or so (very scary!!!). Over the past year and a half it has almost completely resolved, so don't give up. You did it once, you'll do it again. I started over, read (and continue to re-read) the divided mind and did all sarno suggests like i was new. Also finding this forum has helped me a lot. Regarding the fear, I ended up putting my fear in the same catagory as my pain...just another symptom to banish. (it's greatly reduced but not fully gone). Over time I tried different tricks, like visualising the pain, fear, anxiety, depression (basically ALL the tms and equivilants)as individual things with roots. I'd set them on fire one at a time and burn them up til there was nothing left. I did this several times a week. Repetition is SO important. I think we do actually retrain our brains, but for some of us, this can take some time.
Keep at it, Jeff. You can do this! Vicki |
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JBar
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2007 : 17:43:17
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It is very comforting to hear that other people need to work hard at keeping their TMS at bay, and do so almost on a continuous basis. Thank you all for your kind words of support. I guess I'm a little surprised that I got caught up in it again, I thought I was immune and that I would never have problems with chronic pain again. Probably better to see it as an ongoing project; I always thought of my little episodes of pain as an emotional barometer, when the pain was there I knew something was getting to me and I needed to go easy on myself and gain some better perspective on my life. I probably am in the midst of some such thing again, however submerged.
And the fear is definitely there and a big part of perpetuating the syndrome for me - hard to break out of that when physical activity brings on a few days of pain (in my case). The bent-torso thing is pretty disturbing, but perhaps that is only my tricky brain at work.
I will keep at it, Vicki. thanks.
Jeff. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2007 : 19:26:15
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Every so often we need a TMS booster. Fortunately, the Good TMS Doctors, maufacture one for us every so often, in an easily soluble book form. If you havn't read The Divided Mind I highly recommend it.
I was so impressed with Dr. Marc Sopher's chapter, that I am now reading his book, To Be Or Not to Be Pain-Free. It is delightful. It gives some of the best explanations of the psyhchological jargon for the layperson, for the id, ego, super-ego, consscious, un-conscious, sub-conscious, suppression and repression.
I have Dr. Brady's book in my TMS medicine cabinet for my next booster.
We are also very luky to have the radio interview with Dr. Sarno available to us here thanks to Ralphhyde  .
If your pain is from TMS, then it is "real" pain. The good news is all you need is some TMS "knowledge penicillin" to take care of it.
Good Luck,
tt
some of my favorite excerpts from 'TDM' : http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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My relapse story
