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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
 Posted - 02/25/2007 : 23:27:22
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It's really amazing how strong the TMS Gremlin wants to hold on for dear life! My neck was the primary site, then it went to my heart with skipped beats, chest pains, etc..Now it's back in my neck and wanting to start in my knee because I painted standing up for the first time in several years..(conditioning)..What does one do when current life pressures are just so intense and there are many unanswered dilemmas at the same time...Other then journaling, prayer, meditation, social support..are there any other suggestions??
Hope you all had a great weekend,
Karen |
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FlyByNight
Canada
209 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2007 : 13:36:25
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| Maybe just .... letting go .... just a bit ? |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2007 : 18:32:34
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I agree with FlyByNight...you know that things cannot all be solved now. I think you need to get some deep-down acceptance of that going, and focus on what you can do and are doing right now.
Good for you to ignore your conditioning and do what you want!
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2007 : 19:11:38
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Thanx to the both of you! Sometimes the answer is just something very simple, indeed...:)
Big hugs,
Karen |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2007 : 19:13:50
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| PS...wanted to add that I am getting soooo excited about this Pluto commissioned painting I am working on..It is really coming to life! I am happy inside about it but the anxiety, creatively is building up and as this happens my neck is tightening even more! So annoying this TMS...I need to start walking diligently again for exercise..I am just painting non stop, trying to get done so i can get paid for this...But i have to get the blood flowing too...thanx for listening! |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2007 : 00:20:31
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BTW relaxing and acceptance is much easier to preach than practice. I work on it constantly in my own life. So I am not saying this from on high, so to speak, but from down in the trenches. 
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2007 : 08:38:34
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Thanx ACL,
Appreciate that..:) Was painting my current commission for many hours trying to place catch up..I suppose I looked up more then usual (from neck limitations..) and had to hold my hand and arm up alot...I suppose it is conditioning but I got so much worse last night after painting that I had to take a valium to sleep..The doctor gave me the Rx awhile ago to use only as needed..I rarely do..I hate taking meds...My neck locked up on me and my right shoulder and upper right neck are the tightest...I never regained full range of motion looking up from last year's TMS bout..The chest pains are calmer but now the neck is freaking out...I had some numbness in a few fingers when i layed on one side a long time but as soon as i move it's okay..I have alot of painting to do today and I want to work though the fear...My friend who does kinesiology told me that something inside is trying to release, related to this painting...He is a doctor friend of mine..I didn't tell him about the nerve impulses because they happened later..I don't like to bother him w/ medical things much because he has a family and a thriving practice..Did you or has anyone had these weird nerve impulses coming from the neck..THey just happened a couple of times this morning..Maybe it's cuz the TMS has me so locked up and the muscles so tight? Thanx for listening!
God bless and hugs,
Karen |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2007 : 08:49:28
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I don't know about the symptoms but your doctor friend sounds wise.
What is going on for you emotionally, not physically?
No need to answer here if you don't feel comfortable, it's you who needs to know the answer, not us.
Unless I miss my guess, you are still experiencing symptoms because they still successfully distract you from what you are feeling. Until you undermine that, by shifting your thinking to the psychological when you have a symptom flare, I think you'll be at this same point. This is a better point than in the past -- at least you know you can't hurt yourself long-term with the pain. But I hope you can move forward.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2007 : 10:47:40
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Thanx ACL,
I don't mind talking about my emotions here..I am feeling a myriad of things ranging from repressed rage (toward a certain loved one who has been taking things out of me for a long time..)..to sadness, grief (missing my b/f in NYC and lost loved ones)..to fear (regarding my physical symptoms, finances, getting older, bday coming in June, etc..)..to deep conflict and confusion about the whole dilemma with my b/f's allergies to my dogs..to guilt about coming here when he is going through so much back East..to..anxiety about my future in all areas..to..feeling trapped in Vegas by circumstances..(although I love my bro and puppies, of course..)..to feeling stifled by being at the receiving end of someone's possessiveness and control issues..and more!
On a positive note, LOL,,I feel anticipation for my future as a potential rich and famous artist and/or singer..(I am making my dreams a reality!)..to excitment about seeing my b/f in NYC when I go back..To safety, joy and comfort being with my roomie/surrogate brother and my doggies..to..exhiliration over the commissioned painting of Pluto and it's orbits I am finishing and Love so much..to (oops, here's a little negative one related to that..sadness about letting the piece go because it is one of my favorites I have ever done..)..to..Love for my family, friends, and dog babies..Whew..that was a mouthful! lol again..thanx for listening! Since I haven't been journalling on paper, this can sort of be a journal post..
Hugs,
Karen |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2007 : 12:44:37
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Good ones. Probably helps to think about the positives too. I recall that Sarno mentions that the TMS rage reservoir may be affected the ratio between the enraging things and the soothing ones. I know I feel better if I think some about positive things, even small ones like the yummy smell of bread in the morning as I walk by a bakery, or how it's sunny this morning instead of raining like the weather predicted.
You have a lot of big issues, and you're welcome to expand on any one or more of them here if want -- it's your thread and I'm happy to 'listen'. But I would still very much recommend that you do some serious journaling in a private and offline journal where you feel no pressure to be brief or even coherent. I needed regular journaling to get better, and I don't have many big issues. To me, it's the defininite next step to take after you know you accept your TMS and you challenge it. If it does not then go away, you need to investigate its origins, its texture, its nature. To get to know the inner you. Strangely enough, your TMS may be doing you a favor by sticking around. It's saying YOU NEED TO DO MORE. You've not got in touch with enough of what's going on inside you for the TMS to be able to go away.
I spent a long time writing out the story of what was happening in my life when my depression and then pain came about; I recommend that mechanism strongly because it gets right to what was going on with you at the relevant time. Or visiting each issue just a little at a time, maybe even through structured journaling questions, might be helpful for you, if you are worried about it overtaking you somewhat. I do recommend Schechter's journaling materials for some good questions, though this board is full of good questions and issues for journaling.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2007 : 13:58:52
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Great advice, ACL...I know you are right! I just spoke to my doctor friend and he put my mind at ease regarding the nerve impulses coming from my neck..ie..If It was nerve damage, it would not happen so rarely, and come and go..It is muscular he says, my muscles adapting and then not adapting..He said paint anyway! And exercise more, not less...He believe I have TMS as well..
I will get to the journaling very soon...So focused on my painting right now that other then checking in here and my email, I am just doing that..I need to set aside time to get to the root of these many issues...ALot of it has to do with the present, interestingly..Meaning..big decisions and life's pressures to use Dr. Sarno's term...That was so insightful of you to remind me to be grateful for the little things...Actually animals mean the world to me so I went to this wonderful place here called Gilcrese to hang out with the llamas, pigs, exotic birds, etc. There is nothing I can do but smile when I am around animals..Which is exactly why I don't want to ever have to give up my dogs..I love them so much..
Hugs,
Karen |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 02/28/2007 : 09:14:13
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quote:
Originally posted by Singer_Artist
I just spoke to my doctor friend and he put my mind at ease regarding the nerve impulses coming from my neck..ie..If It was nerve damage, it would not happen so rarely, and come and go..It is muscular he says, my muscles adapting and then not adapting..He said paint anyway! And exercise more, not less...He believe I have TMS as well..
Wow, we should all have Doctor friends like that. 
Congrats on all of your recent good fortune, with the Pluto commission and all.
Best Wishes,
Beth |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/28/2007 : 15:14:31
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Thanx Beth..:) Hope all is well with you too!
Take care,
Karen |
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pain moving around
