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charbald
11 Posts |
 Posted - 02/01/2007 : 02:54:01
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About three weeks ago, I was hanging out doing laundry when my right hand began tingling with pins & needles. At the time, I thought this might be due to possibly having ammonia residue on my hands when I used bleach. I looked up the chemical reaction online & realized that couldn't be the culprit. However the tingling was moving up my right arm & beginning to show up near my knee. I thought it might be a circulation problem and tried to walk it off. But an hour later, my entire right side was stiff, numb and tingling. I called a dr.'s advice line to see if they could advise me. They told me to go to the emergency room.
So,off i went. 1 CATscan, 4 MRI's, 2 ultrasounds and a 5-day hospital stay later I was diagnosed by two neuroloists as having conversion disorder. They said I was a healthy 30 yr old. My emotions were making my body feel symptoms because they were too much to handle for whatever reason.
So I went home with an anxiety prescription and the dr's advice to live life like "normal." Shortly after arriving home, my brother-in-law gave me a copy of Healing Back Pain by Dr. Sarno. Since the hospital ran every test possible and gave me a clear bill of health, I was very receptive to his ideas. (Not to mention that a family member has had back pain cured after meeting with Sarno in NY).
I am home and trying to deal psychologically with te numbness and rubbery feeling I now have down the entire right side of my body. When I'm feeling stressed or fearful, my right side shakes with epileptic-type seizures.
Does anyone have any advice for me on how to make some headway with this? I looked up a dr. in my area (southern NJ) but he seems to be more into accupuncture. I feel I need psychotherapy or a dr. that 100% only believes in dr. sarno's techniques. I say this b/c I tried Cranio-Sacral Therapy & had a worsening of symptoms....maybe b/c he was asking me to focus on my body during the treatment???
Any thought or similar stories would be of great comfort.
Thanks,
Charbald |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2007 : 06:47:43
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Charbald,
DON'T FEAR THESE SYMPTOMS. Remember, the extensive work up gave you a clean bill of health. Nobody ever died from excessive tingling and rubberyness of the right side. I am not minimizing what you're going through. Quite the contrary. I know it seems really serious and scary, but that's how the unc achieves it's goal.
Fear is used by the Mind as a distraction, and its only effective if you let it be.
It's easier said than done, but don't be scared. Try laughing at the symptoms and saying to your mind "Is that the best you can do?".
Then, keep looking within for the emotions that are driving this.
Regards,
Beth |
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2007 : 08:52:32
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Believe me Charbald you can make progress just working on your own.
Start jounalling about your feelings, thoughts every day. Reread Dr Sarno's book every day until it is really ingrained. Do some deep breathing / meditation twice a day. All of these will make a difference. Oh, and regular exercise will help - I like to walk most days - on my own so I can just enjoy the peace and quiet and have time to myself.
Search on this website for advice on how to do these things.
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charbald
11 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2007 : 21:22:28
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Thanks for your suggestions. I did start up a journal today. It didn't take much to see where I should begin to focus my attention.
Nearly 12 months ago my husband was transferred for his job from NJ to GA. I could not go as I was working on my final year in a grad degree and could not transfer.
So, I have been living here with roommates while he rents a room down there. We try to get him home to visit for a weekend at least once a month. But clearly that's not enough. He now has his resume out to try to find a new position closer to home.
I have to admit I don't like knowing that I'm so dependant even on my husband. I look at some women that send their husbands to war without these symptoms. My husband is working in a safe evironment a phone call away & I land in the hospital? very frustrating. I'm working on these emotions. thanks for listening.
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Edited by - charbald on 02/01/2007 21:25:43 |
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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2007 : 15:28:56
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Hi Charbald,
The timing of your post is interesting, because I've had similar symptoms, along with others, and this sensation you're describing was one of the first to go away when I read Dr. Sarno's book "The Divided Mind" and found this forum, but a couple of days ago this particular symptom, the numbness/tingling/rubbery sensations came back. I had a horrible night last night, with these sensations from the waist down and the addition of "restless legs" on the right side keeping me up until 6 am.
But I know the source of these symptoms is psychological. I've had plenty of testing done in the past, and the fact that these symptoms just went away so quickly gives me total confidence that it's just TMS at work.
It's good that you were able to quickly identify the issue that's on your unconscious mind. Don't feel like there is anything wrong with wanting to be with you husband and being angry that the demands of life have forced you apart. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are "dependent." It's reasonable to want to have his companionship daily. I think that one of the reasons I'm still dealing with TMS symptoms is that I tend to dismiss the emotions I have as unreasonable or unfair. Having these feelings doesn't fit with the image I'd prefer to have of myself, so accepting and acknowledging them is something I find myself resisting at times. The more we can give ourselves permission to feel what may seem unacceptable to us on a conscious level, the faster we can get relief.
Keep us posted about how things go for you. Your experiences encourage others. Reading your post has helped me to focus on the emotions and stop the panic that hit when these physical sensations returned.
Take care,
Corey
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alexis
USA
596 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2007 : 15:40:43
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quote:
Originally posted by charbald
I have to admit I don't like knowing that I'm so dependant even on my husband. I look at some women that send their husbands to war without these symptoms.
I don't really think it's the same, though. When spouses go away to war, those left behind are frequently part of a community sharing the same experience with built-in support structures. I'm not by any means saying it's easy, but the problems are different. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2007 : 16:58:15
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quote:
Having these feelings doesn't fit with the image I'd prefer to have of myself, so accepting and acknowledging them is something I find myself resisting at times. The more we can give ourselves permission to feel what may seem unacceptable to us on a conscious level, the faster we can get relief.
Good post Littlebird. The first sentence really struck me. It's so similar to something that Rachel says on her page (http://podolsky.everybody.org/rsi/), about how a lot of the things that we are not feeling are those that are deeply threatening to our images of ourselves, the things we feel we should and need to be to be loved/appreciated. Sometimes we can identify these by looking at how we see ourselves. For example, someone who is a student and very devotedly so may have a lot of unconscious rage/disgust/upset by school, maybe the arbitrariness, maybe the boredom, whatever. But they literally can't feel it because it's too threatening to their image of themselves.
There have been a few board participants who've talked about being new parents or having stressful parenting experiences, and this is a big one (mentioned by Sarno at the beginning of MBP) where it might be totally impossible at first for the person to realize/feel the unconscious rage that they may have at the child or their spouse. It is just too threatening to their lives. Pain is better, from that perspective, because at least if they have pain they are still a good parent and love their kids like they "should".
One of the best things I've gotten from Sarno is that unconscious rage toward things or people that we love is totally normal and doesn't mean that we're bad people. It just means we are people. We all have a component of the ego (the inner child) that wants things just our way and resents absolutely everything that gets in the way or isn't perfect. And that's okay. We can feel that way, not even act on it or anything, just feel, go through the feelings, and eventually integrate our whole selves in a way that works for us.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2007 : 19:58:43
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Charbald,
According to Sarno, Conversion Disorder (hysteria) is not the same as TMS. Somewhere in his Mind Body Rx book as well as TDM, he differentiates between them. While Conversion/Hysteria is psychogenic, it is not psychosomatic, which is what TMS is. With Conversion Disorder, the brain creates the symptoms ONLY in the mind not in the body as in TMS. There are no physiological changes that can be seen with objective tests as there often are with TMS. No herniated disc, no wear and tear changes, to blame the symptoms on. Purely a psychological phenomenon.
Now, that's assuming the dx of Conversion Disorder is correct, which it may or may not be if done by a non-TMS doc. I wish I had the pages of the books in front of me, but you can find this info in any of Sarno's books, usually in the beginning where he lays out basis of his theory. Good luck.
PS--I have often wondered myself whether some of my symptoms are TMS or Conversion. |
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alexis
USA
596 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2007 : 21:27:48
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On page 42 of MBP Sarno says that conversion disorders "were common in Freud's time, but are seen much less frequently now, probably because they are less in fashion."
He goes on to say in the next paragraph (citing Shorter) that "mindbody symptom choice is based on what is in vogue".
Here he seems to me to be implying that they are just another mindbody (TMS) symptom.
Although he goes on to make the distinction you refer to later on pp45-46.
But really I think the whole thing is a matter of what makes people feel better right now. Conversion disorder got the negative "hysteria" label and is out of fashion, and it's more OK to have "real" pain with physical causes. That's why everyone keeps repeating the "It's not in your head" mantra. Well, if you need that fine. Maybe it's true, maybe it's not. But I wouldn't try to draws to fine a line between these things.
And maybe I'll burst a bubble here and scare folks away, but there's an underlying gender issue here. Most (something like 90%) of conversion patients are/were women. It's much more acceptable for males to have "TMS" than conversion or fibromyalgia. Just like it was more acceptable for men to have "real" manly back pain. The label game will keep going round and round. |
Edited by - alexis on 02/02/2007 21:29:51 |
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charbald
11 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2007 : 22:36:44
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When I was diagnosed with Conversion Disorder, my doctors just told me I was healthy & I should see a psych. They really didn't explain the disorder to me. So I looked it up online. The MayoClinic's website had the clearest definition...
"Conversion disorder is a rare psychiatric illness in which emotional stress or conflict is expressed through physical symptoms, such as blindness or paralysis. Conversion disorder is a type of somatoform disorder, in which symptoms suggest a medical illness, yet no medical condition can be identified to explain the symptoms."
So, one of the things I asked myself after reading HBP was if this was the same as TMS, maybe just a different form?
Lord knows I fit the perfectionist, driven personality Sarno describes. I began having debilitating back pain at the ripe young age of 10-12 years old. That continued through college with me "throwing out" my back probably once or twice a year. I did professional ballet for 18 years. Which everyone thought was the culprit of the back pain. I also was in a car accident that caused "soft-tissue damage" in my hip. I went to PT for 3 months with no relief.
So actually, as I'm typing all this, I'm wondering if I have TMS.
Anyone know if TMS ever presents itself by affecting the entire right side of my body (as if there was a dotted line drawn down my middle)? This is a common part of CD. Plus, are epileptic seizures a common escalation of symptoms -- again only on my right side & affecting my arms, legs, chest & back muscles. |
Edited by - charbald on 02/02/2007 22:42:20 |
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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2007 : 01:43:26
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This is what my dictionary says:
1. Conversion Disorder-- A psychopathological condition characterized by the presence of bodily symptoms having no discernible physical cause but for which there is evidence of a psychological conflict.
2. Psychogenesis--(second meaning) Development of a medical disorder or illness resulting from psychological rather than physiological factors.
3. Psychosomatic--Of or relating to a disorder having physical symptoms but originating from mental or emotional causes.
I don't see any difference in the treatment--whatever label is put on the symptoms, the treatment is to address the emotions. On page 44 of TDM, Dr. Sarno says, "In our view, all of Frau Emmy's and Fraulein Elisabeth's symptoms, affective or physical, hysterical or psychosomatic, served the same purpose, that is as a defense against powerful emotions in the unconscious that were striving to come consciousness, or were being repressed because of their emotionally painful nature." |
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Conversion Disorder
