| Author |
 Topic  |
|
Paul
134 Posts |
 Posted - 02/01/2007 : 13:06:25
|
Miche,
I appreciate the article...but I've tried all those treatements. They only give temporary relief.
armchairlinguist, I need to get back to the Sarno stuff. I guess when the pain and anxiety get so bad, it is SO hard to think it is all just harmless. It is hard for me to think I have to fight and battle MY OWN SELF to get better...it just seems crazy. Like my body (subconscious) is going against me. But, I guess this isn't necessarily true...it is trying to protect me with pain. What a mess...I don't see the point. I would MUCH rather deal with emotions, etc. than pain...no doubt about it.
I'm just at one of those points in my life where I lost my beautiful wife and I DO blame all this pain and anxiety for interferring with my marriage (rage!). Of course, I also had to lose my house, changed to working at home and living alone in an apartment, etc. I could go on and on...but I'm not here for a pity party. I just want to get better, plain and simple.
I guess that there are cyles in life and sometimes everything is just bad...everything. That seems to be where I'm at, for whatever reason.
All I want is some happiness and PEACE and most of all...comfort, with security, not anxiety and fear.
I REALLY APPRECIATE EVERYONES COMMENTS!! I will be printing out this thread to give me hope.
I know others have been through hell and back...hopefully, I will make it through as well. I'm only 31, feel like I'm 70.
EDIT: Yes, I've never resorted to drugs or alcohol, etc. In fact, I've become an avid runner and am always trying to get better. But the pain takes it's toll on the mind and body regardless. |
Edited by - Paul on 02/01/2007 13:13:44 |
 |
|
|
miche
Canada
283 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2007 : 18:49:47
|
I am no therapist of course, but when you say that you are mad at the pain I cannot help but wonder if you may have some subconscious anger towards the wife who left you also The pain that you suffer from might have been responsible for the tension and stress in your marriage but let's face it wedding vows state "in sickness and in health," Would she have left you when you got old anyway? I AM NOT TRYING TO GET YOU ANGRY BUT IF EMOTIONS ARE CAUSING THIS PAIN THEN FEELING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LET DOWN AND DESERTED WOULD CERTAINLY BE CAUSE FOR SOME ADDED EMOTIONS OF HURT AND ANGER and should be acknowledgedand felt. YOU SEEM TO TAKE ALL THE BLAME FOR WHAT HAPPENED, I JUST DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY.
YOU DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR MEDICAL PROBLEM, what you tried to do is find answers and treatment, who the heck could blame you for this? I am sure your wife would have done the same had she been her in your shoes and you might have found the strain difficult but would have had the maturity to support her.
I had a fair weather man in my life once, I dumped him and found a man who has been there for me through the good AND the bad times. He is the kind of man I want to grow old with
Sorry if I sound harsh but I have met good decent people, one man who refused to put his wife in an institution and looked after her till her death even though she had alzeimer and did not know him anymore, all in the name of love duty and decency, there are many people like this . Your wife had different priorities, you are not responsible for her emotional make up. Guilt is also a factor in tms, seems yours is unfounded. Hoping you can find your way to a painfree life,you are still quite young, I have no doubt that you will |
|
|
|
Paul
134 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2007 : 19:47:40
|
miche,
Funny you should say that about my now ex-wife. Almost everyone I talk to say I got a raw deal out of it and she just bailed. Chalk it down to immaturity. Sure, I had pain and anxiety during our marriage, I even mentioned my pain problem to her on our first date! Yet we still got married nearly 2 years after that. Anyway, I was a good husband to her and I can say that with confidence...I just wish I would have shown more affection and attention. I guess she thinks that grass might be greener on the other side. Who knows.
Yes, I hold a lot of pain and resentment about the divorce. A lot of self-blame too...but many people tell me I'm too hard on myself and I always have been this way.
I had this pain before the marriage, many years before so the marriage wasn't a cause. But I know it has added to whatever it is that is causing tension, etc.
Today I just wept on and off most of the day. I'm back at home in my hometown with my parents. I've been here for nearly 2 weeks now. Today I had such bad pain it just triggered great sadness and frustration that I just cried. Then cried some more. More frustration than anything.
I just want to be "normal" again on all levels.
I thank all of you on this forum. You are all angels, seriously. |
|
|
|
paininthebutt
Canada
2 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2007 : 09:55:29
|
Hi Paul
I am a sufferer too and understand your pain. Have been symptomatic for about 10 months now, but I have had two or three periods of three weeks where there has been no pain over the course of that time. What I did was almost a reverse "Kegel" exercise, not pushing too hard, but forcing myself to lower that tense pelvic floor. If I have stresses in my life its hard to keep that going, and I definitely could benefit from trigger release, but this has helped me on more than one occasion.
Best of luck...to us both. Those periods of respite tell me this can be beaten. Hope this may help. |
|
|
|
JohnO
USA
63 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2007 : 14:46:50
|
Pain In The -- I have had the same misery (see other posts of mine). Consider it TMS and repudiate the physical 100% and go with Sarno's teachings. Those things you suggest represent the fact that you think you have a physical ailment and you likely do not.
Try Sarno. Repudiate the physical. Go psychological. I am much better for it! |
|
|
|
paininthebutt
Canada
2 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2007 : 20:07:35
|
Hi JohnO
I didnt have time this morning to get into it in depth, but my main problem has been stress at work. Im training for a very "prestigious" career, which means long hours and even higher expectations and, now with only two months left in my training, I'm at the height of my discomfort
That discomfort can be best described as a rectal tightness with severe levator ani syndrome-like knotting beneath the tailbone...right in the coccyx. I know whats causing it (the "sheilding" or "protecting" urge that forces my pelvic muculature upwards when Im anxious) but its become so habitual and chronic that symptoms have taken a life of their own. I know that everything is in my mind and how I react to the day to day, but in the absence of an ability to outright change that on a dime (although I am slowly learning) I have realized that the best thing to give a little relief is to pretend Im 'passing wind' and lower those pelvic muscles in a reverse kind of kegel. The danger is in tightening the muscles the opposite way and forming worse knots, but if im focused more on relaxation rather than forceful "pushing" I do get temporary relief.
I sympathise so much with you and with Paul, both who seem to share similar stories to my own. I'm only 24, but the realization that Im causing this was the first step on the road to recovery. I feel I am almost there...but itll take time to train my mind to accept that no amount of stress in ones life is worth this. |
Edited by - paininthebutt on 02/15/2007 20:08:00 |
|
|
|
ReferFire
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - 02/16/2007 : 04:09:09
|
Paul, although i've never had the rectal pain you have (and reading your post was the first time i heard about that kind of TMS), i have completely overcome a seriously bad case of TMS. i didn't have the anxiety you mention either, but i am a lawyer and am thus entirely familiar with super stressful, anxious situations.
In terms of my TMS pain, when i realized it was a mental issue and not a structural one i ignored it and over the span of a few weeks it went away. i still feel the hint of that pain (i had tendonitis in my fingers from too much typing), but it hasn't come back. it sounds to me like you are convinced rectal pain is TMS. in that case, i wouldn't let the pain hold you back from a full life. treat the pain for what it is - a creation of your mind (just like bad dreams, etc.).
In terms of anxiety, i have a hobby with happy colorful art that reflects my positive attitude on life (my art is at www.jonathanvanee.com). there are a lot of things to be anxious about (we're all going to die, get sick, lose loved ones, etc.), so i find trusting God with those things is really helpful.
I overcame TMS and, while I'm seriously smart and special, I'm not that smart & special. You too can overcome it. |
|
|
|
JohnO
USA
63 Posts |
Posted - 02/16/2007 : 06:48:00
|
| Pain In The -- That's all so wrong what you are doing. So wrong. I am all better and it is all Sarno teaching related. What you go into on your post is not Sarno. You haven't fully recognized that it is all psychological because you are doing things that indicate you still believe it is physical. Read and re-read Sarno and drop the physcial concept and I guarantee you will be "cured". If you want to e-mail me off-line the offer to get into it more still stands. |
|
|
|
Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2009 : 11:54:21
|
quote:
Originally posted by JohnO
Pain In The -- That's all so wrong what you are doing. So wrong. I am all better and it is all Sarno teaching related. What you go into on your post is not Sarno. You haven't fully recognized that it is all psychological because you are doing things that indicate you still believe it is physical. Read and re-read Sarno and drop the physcial concept and I guarantee you will be "cured". If you want to e-mail me off-line the offer to get into it more still stands.
I'm as much of a "Sarno purist" as anyone but I have to disagree with you here.
PainInTheButt clearly recognizes that the muscle tightness is a TMS symptom and is "habitual and chronic." This is clearly different than believing that there is a structural issue.
I believe that part of the syndrome is that we may subconsiously tense our muscles. We're not aware of it, it's a habit. Becoming aware of it and consciously relaxing those muscles is not necessarily contradictory to TMS treatment. In fact, it may be beneficial in that it contributes to the reconditioning process. Becoming aware of this propensity to hold our muscles "in rictus" (the "old timers" here might recognize this term popularized by Gary -- the original creator of this forum) and consciously relaxing the muscles is not the same as seeking physical treatment. |
|
|
|
cindyo6
USA
20 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2009 : 21:34:42
|
hi paul.....i am a psychotherapist (16 years) and also a TMS warrior in my own life. do you know louise hay's work? her video "you can heal your life" changed my life and also several of my clients. the new version is called "the expanded edition" and has a second disk with several interviews on it. i really like the interview with esther hicks.
i'm not sure which meds you have tried. there are a number of ways to go with meds. some less stringent than others. i think acute anxiety is quite difficult to manage without meds, until you get the hang of a multi-facted , self-soothing approach, which takes time to develop. dr. emmett miller has a good book on healing in which he lays out a multi-facted approach, similar to fred amir's. it IS possible to get better, feel better. you CAN be happy again. do you believe that?
cynthia oeser |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
|
|
I need some help...I'm scared
