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kevin t
USA
72 Posts |
 Posted - 11/25/2006 : 14:56:24
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Success???
Well Ive been posting here a couple of weeks about my various TMS pains. At first the main muscle tension in the back and neck left but I was still stuck with nerve pain all over my legs. I noticed a few days ago after reading the TMS material over and over again I started running across old friends that ended up in the ER with back pain themselves recently. It was actually 5 people in one night that I havent seen for a while. I thought," wow this is a damn epidemic now".
I started to talk to them about my experiences and the "proof" of a mind body connection. The more Ive been speaking about TMS to others as if that is the "DEFINITE" diagnosis, I started to have ease of pain. So what Im saying is, as soon as I TRULY embraced the TMS diagnosis and stopped thinking "Whats wrong with my body" I started to improve much faster. Now I ignore my sciatica when it comes. Even the other day I had some bad sciatica pain in both legs in bed. I layed there and started talking out loud about all my fears about life no matter how small I thought they were. I also started talking to the pain and telling it "Why dont you just quit dude, youre really getting annoying". Low and behold, the pain started to ease and I could literally feel my body "relax" .When I say "relax",I dont mean like when you get a massage. I mean some sort of INNER relaxation, like its defenses were dropping.
Weird experiences. So lately I have been waking up more and more pain free everyday. Mind you Ive only been at this about 2 weeks, but from the progress Ive seen I would say thats pretty good.
Keep thinking psychological and you will notice that when you have come to a personal decision point of embracing that logically nothing is "WRONG" with you, you will start to feel better. Im seeing that the TMS theory works best when you accept it, that it cant be structural when its going on for months or years. And also, if you remember that only mild/consistent oxygen deprivation can cause extreme pain, it easier to accept the TMS theory.
Hope this helps.......KEV |
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2006 : 06:33:54
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That's great Kevin!
I am sort of experiencing the opposite. It feels like now I REALLY embrace the cause of symptoms and start to tell my relatives with TMS problems about it, the longer and more severe my flareups become.
Either that or the 'supprise effect' is gone. I don't know how my gremlin works.
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Do not base your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2006 : 08:41:51
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Proselytizing TMS to friends and relatives will only serve to maintain our TMS resorvoir pressure-packed to the brim. TMS/goodists, by nature, need to show and tell our latest world saving modality.
In the case of proseltyzing TMS, 99 out of 100 times the result will be increaseing our own TMS pressure level due to the frustration caused by no-one in the intended audience getting it or being interested.
Dr. Sarno found this out long ago, therefore he carefully qualifies patients before accepting them into his program to save their time and money. Dr. Sarno is shunned at NYU by his peers, and they are "intellegent" doctors.
The best way to proseltyze the Good Doctor's cure is by example. When your relatives, and acquaintances see you engaging in activities that you could not do because of your prior TMS/disability, and ask you how you did it, then tell them about it.
If you tell someone about it, because you feel sorry for their blind suffering, don't be surprised if they don't seem very interested, thereby fueling your own TMS. Just chalk it up to gaining a better insight into the human comedy.
After all, according to Dr. Sarno the physical symptom is not a punishment as Freud postulated but to the contrary, a protector. Psychosomatic TMS pain protects our psyches from feeling emotional pain that our unconscious has decided for us would be even more painful.
So go ahead and proseltyze TMS all you want but don't let the frustration of having it fall on deaf ears increase your own, after a while you'll get used to the rejection and curb your entusiasm.
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2006 : 12:02:05
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That makes sense.. I'll just keep this to myself, at least 'till I can tag myself as a story of success. But it seems like it was helping Kevin to talk about it to others.
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Do not base your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. |
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kevin t
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2006 : 14:42:56
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No I think Tom is right. i was actually telling someone about TMS because they were having problems. The "goodist" in me sometimes wants to be a "World Savior" if I can, I guess that follows TMS personality. Luckily, the guy I was talking to totally agreed with the theory. As far as others are concerned though, they just look at me with this werid look, which adds to my frustration of being an "outsider" with some mystery illness. I more comfortable saying "Oh I was having back problems" when someone asks me where Ive been for months. The embarassment of telling people you havent worked for so long and and need help from MOMMY only adds to the tension when you tell them that you have a psychosomatic PAIN SYNDROME. I mean , holy jesus, could someone feel like a bigger loser? I know I do.
I have women approach me all the time to go out with them, get together for drinks,etc, and to explain that you have some pain syndrome and that is the reason for your current living situations is beyond low self esteem. Its almost mental suicide.
I think TOM has a point, the people pleaser part of you wants to hide the fact that you have "issues" with pain so much that you begin to lie to yourself and others, because the embarassment of your situation in life, work,relationships or lack thereof, is TOTALLY fearville. The brain just wants to reverse the clock to a time when my biggest problems werent getting involved with a woman, but rather WHICH ONE I should pick.
As shallow as that sounds , its true. I think many people who suffer chronic pain so bad it has affected every part of their lives, developes an inner rage just by that truth alone. Maybe the people pleaser part of me wants to "explain" to people so they understand that theres a real reason for my living situation. Not because I dont try or am lazy, but simply because of pain and fear of more pain. But most people dont want to hear it I agree. Most people want you to come to them with nothing but excellent news,or so it feels that way. Anything less than totally self sufficient and "successful" in our society gets frowned upon which also adds to the "rage".
I guess to make a long story LONGER, trying to "EXPLAIN" TMS ,to give people and understanding so theyll "take it easy on you" is just more people pleasing. I didnt notice how much I cared about people liking me till I read this stuff. I thought I didnt ,but realise now I just acted like I didnt as a defense mechanism. I really do care. And yes, since Ive had pain/disability that want for people to like me has increased many times. And to hold all that inside you is crippling. Waking up everday feeling like some freak loser because of pain,no job,staying with mom while I "get back on my feet", is pure hell. Especially when before that you lived the life of a rock star. Humbling to the 10th degree I must say.
Im sure all of us have experienced this feeling to some degree.In the end its all the same for each of us.The only difference is the details. I bet many of our days are filled with some regret of what this pain turned us into. And to then, try and explain that to someone on the street who has no clue what the experience is like, and their biggest worry is what type of rims they want on their car.
Yes, it all adds to the tension.
I would say that if you can, wait till or make, YMS a thing of the past and THEN explain how you did it. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2006 : 17:52:22
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Hey Kevin!
I Can See Clearly Now
I can see clearly now the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way,
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day.
I think I can make it now the pain is gone,
And all of the bad feelings have disappeared,
Here is the rainbow I've been praying for.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day.
Look all around, nothing but blue skies.
Look straight ahead, nothing but blue skies.
I can see clearly now the rain is gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sunshiny day. |
Edited by - shawnsmith on 11/26/2006 17:55:07 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2006 : 19:45:12
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Great post Kevin,
You are right, that's what TMS is about and your post is evidence you are on the right track and doing the TMS work. You didn't mention a single physical symptom and that is what the Good Doctor recommneds: "When you feel the pain think psycholgical not phyiscal."
Having recently gone through a significant depression I can empathize with your feelings of embarassement about not being productive, living at home, not feeling adaquate to enter into relationships. It seems everyone on the planet is happy, care-free, and connected. It's a ruse by our TMS fogged mind. We are seeing a world of people acting out a superficial bravado underneath which lies an ocean of fear.
The good news is the depression and the pain can be turned around rapidly, in as short a time as two weeks as I did. Depression to some varying degrees goes hand in hand with TMS pain or any pain. It forms a cloud around us that prevents us from seeing the world accurately. When it lifts we can see that we are all in this together. We feel that all the world has to be our friend, we need to be accepted and ratified by all. Not true. Firstly, you have to accept, like, come to terms with and ratify yourself. Then the same for your family to whatever degree that may be possible, and then a couple of more people.
Trying to be accepted and liked by everyone is as difficult and futile a task as proselytizing TMS. Once you are OK with yourself, the rest falls into place. Some days are scratchier than others but if you just show-up it eventually starts to click.
So in conclusion, proselytzing TMS is a good thing from several aspects. By enunciating TMS principles outloud it reinforces our inner commitment to those priciples. Once in a blue-moon someone might take heed and learn about TMS. Maybe when they hear about TMS a few more times from other sources it may click for them. Just understand that 99 out of 100 times they don't want to hear it because they need their pain.
I like Dr. Sarno's newest book The Divided Mind because he uses the term psychosomatic more and psychogenic less. People are more familiar with the term psychosomatic. When people ask me what I'm reading in the hot-tub I say it's a book about "mindbody, wholelistic, integrative health". Here in Southern Marin that's way kool. If I think they have a clue I will say it's about "psychosomatic medicine" which I think is way kool--this is where I usually lose them.
I had an encounter with a clinical psychologist today in the hot-tub. She was obsessesed with every neurotic "new-age" health quack disease, although she is the picture of health. In my spiel I said to her that as a psychologist I would think she would be into psychosomatic medicine...she gave me the quizzical look, like "Why in the world would psychosomatic medicine interst me as a clinical psychologist???--you figure. |
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2006 : 02:09:41
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Yeah, great posts.
I can identify with what you said, Kevin. First, I want the world to understand why my situation is more serious than it looks. Then I want to save all others I care about in whom I recognize TMS. Though at times I don't want to talk about it. Sometimes I have this egoist feeling I don't want to share it because sociëty didn't take me seriously enough in my symptoms, so I don't want to share this 'remedy' back to keep 'them' in pain, like 'they' deserve it. (But 'they' often don't care anyway.) Quite the contrast. Making me realize once more I don't really understand myself. But I bet few people fully understand theirselves. |
Edited by - Redsandro on 11/27/2006 02:13:57 |
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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2006 : 04:30:28
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Anyone I've ever talked to about TMS still wants to insist that THEIR problem is definitely a structural one, they know it is.
"Oh, no, I know how I got this plantar fasciatis in my foot... see, I was starting to work at my gym with a trainer..."
On and on ad-nauseum, these same people have multiple TMS issues and will NOT for one moment consider it may be emotionally related. Nope, not me, I'm not in that group of people. I'll just keep on going to PT's and chiros every night until it gets better. But it never does! The one with the plantar fasciatis now says her doc wants to put her into some type of "boot" or something for 6 weeks to get her from injuring it further. I can't get through to her and am not trying anymore. People DO NOT want to admit we are all prone to our mind affecting our body. Most do not want to hear it. So feel free to share your success where you'll get support, here on the board. We'll all cheer for you! |
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Pain is going away daily
