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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
 Posted - 10/26/2006 : 17:36:52
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I had mostly a pain free day, it has been improving. The problem is conflict brings out the pain. I've had an issue with some high school kids coming and jumping on and sitting on our flatbed trailer that is parked at the back of the property near the alley behind our house.
So anyway to make the story as short as possible. I don't want them on it at all. I already got on them for jumping on it a few days ago. So I come home from the post office and one is just sitting on it. So I drive back in the alley and ask him why he's hanging out on the trailer blah blah blah and I get the usual heart racing symptoms and shakiness which is why I usually avoid as much confrontation as I can. But anyway and to the point, then the pain comes back in my shoulders, head and neck. I haven't hurt all day until now so clearly it's not the "discs" or it wouldn't be situational, it's emotional and tension. I only wish that this knowledge was enough to make it stop LOL but it's not.
I'm going to really get into some journaling and see if that gives me any relief, I just don't know though if I can get a grip on it if every time I have to deal with anything I get an enxiety attack. |
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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2006 : 00:11:37
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I can't say for sure, because I'm just starting this journey, but I think that getting the anger and emotional pain into the journal can help us to raise our stress threshhold, so that things which may seem overwhelming now may not seem as difficult to handle as we progress with our TMS work.
I can appreciate your stress over the kids--sometimes teens can find annoying someone to be like a form of entertainment. If the flatbed is on your property, and if you put a no trespassing sign up, then you would have grounds to call the police if the kids don't respect your wishes. |
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 10/28/2006 : 09:39:29
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Sounds like you have made a breakthrough, Painintheneck - you've made the connection between a situation that is stressful and distressing and your physical symptoms. Most people, even though they may realise that such a connection exists seem to believe that an existing physical condition is made worse by stress. Once a person realises that there is no real underlying disease then recovery starts.
We can't avoid having to deal with difficulties that cause us to react - in the case of those of us who suffer from TMS - in a physical way, but once the understanding of what is actually happening is in place, things will improve.
I have to say, I wasn't someone who healed fast, my recovery was slow and gradual, with many set-backs along the way, but I have recovered.
One thing I'd say about journalling - make sure that you write up all your successes, no matter how small, as well as your difficulties.
Good luck with the trailer - it's so frustrating to have to deal with stuff like that. I still get mad, though I don't show it, when I pass the delightful young man who scratched my car - and thirteen others in my street, three years ago.
Best wishes
Anne |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 10/28/2006 : 21:24:24
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quote:
Originally posted by painintheneck
.... I get the usual heart racing symptoms and shakiness which is why I usually avoid as much confrontation as I can. But anyway and to the point, then the pain comes back in my shoulders, head and neck.
Painintheneck- The symptoms you are describing are exactly the kind of feelings that I bring up in therapy using visualization. I stay with it till it builds in intensity and then I let out the rage as strongly as possible for about 5 seconds. This terminates the fear response completely and drops me right into the sadness. I try to stay in the sadness for a while and feel the loss from my childhood.
Now everyone is different so your experience may be much different from mine but you might want to give it a try. Letting it out in the car or the nearest place you can get some privacy.
For me these symptoms are just what I need to know the rage is accessible and can be released and another bit of it finished.
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 10/28/2006 : 22:36:23
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Can you put a sign on the flatbed that discourages trespassing? Can you call the police instead of dealing with the confrontation personally?
OR
Can you accept that these kids have nothing better (or safer) to do than to sit on your property? Can you tell them you don't mind them hanging out there, as long as they are respectful of your property?
I wonder if the point is NOT your symptoms, but perhaps your point is the true reason behind why you don't want them on your property. Are you afraid of these kids? Are you remembering a time when you didn't have anything better to do? I don't know what's in your brain, but I wonder if the kids' situation is bothering you subconsciously.
PS I think it's AWESOME that you realize that it's not your symptoms, that it is the situation that's causing your pain. Kudos to you for seeing that!!!! I am just asking you these questions to probe you into your your behaviour or past experience that may be causing your symptoms.
>|< Penny
Non illigitamus carborundum. |
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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 10/29/2006 : 19:09:15
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Littlebird,
I am hoping that things that stress me out now and cause the symptoms won't be so hard to deal with in the future after I do some work. It's definitely something to hope for anyway.
Anne, thanks for your response. I'm hoping that the realization of the origin or the pain is going to allow some long term healing. Right now I'm sort of having up's and downs.
Mie,
I'd like to try that if I can and see if it helps. I know often there is a feeling of needing to get something out of me and sort of a trapped in the unpleasant emotions type of feeling. I sure wish we had a bigger selection of therapists here so I could find someone to work with but for now I have to stick to self help and books. Do let me know of any books you might know that would go through this process.
Penny,
I don't want the kids there because they have already shown IMO disrespect by standing on the trailer and jumping on it. Beyond that I have a mix of not wanting to worry about vandalism if I get on their case and feeling a bit bad for them since it seems the best place they can find to hang out is in an alley. The one kid I did go talk to, I felt sort of guilt afterward I guess which makes me angry at myself too because it's not really an issue I should feel guilt over. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 10/29/2006 : 21:10:40
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quote:
Originally posted by painintheneck
Mie,
I'd like to try that if I can and see if it helps. I know often there is a feeling of needing to get something out of me and sort of a trapped in the unpleasant emotions type of feeling. I sure wish we had a bigger selection of therapists here so I could find someone to work with but for now I have to stick to self help and books. Do let me know of any books you might know that would go through this process.
Pain- I don't know of any one book that deals with the kind of issues you and I are dealing with- getting out the repressed emotion. (I really needed to work on this in therapy as my unconscious is only afraid of the rage when there is the risk of percieved abandonment.)
My guess is that the interaction with those kids flashed you back to a source figure in your past that you were afraid to confront. It brought foward the rage and hence those panic symptoms.
Is there someone in your life that you can talk to that would be willing to just be there and listen? Not therapize but just be a sounding board for you. This may be very helpful in clarifying your stuff. It seems there is a lack of decent therapists in many places. The place i'm at there are therapists everywhere it seems.
IMO feeling repressed rage is really an excersize in noticing and learning the triggers for repressed fear. They are unconscious markers telling you the path to your hidden truth. |
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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2006 : 18:52:07
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Mie,
I think I just figured out something major with the teen incident and the problem or part of the problem behind it. I just had another blow out with my own teen (17) and I got the anxiety and pain back with it. With my own kids I try not to have confrontational situations because it causes me anxiety and the pain because it leaves me feeling really crappy and angry. I feel like a failure because they act so horrible and I feel hurt that they turn on me if they don't get every single thing they want when they want it. I have let things go so long because of the anxiety disorder and my attempt to not create stress with it that it's all so out of hand. Funny how familiar the feelings all seemed to me tonight. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2006 : 22:59:30
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Pain- So perhaps you have anger towards your kids and your brain won't permit that so it creates the anxiety.
You know when you get the anxiety- when you have confrontation. But what you haven't talked about is why. I think you need to focus on why and that will probably take some deeper exploration. This is something you preferably would work out in therapy but unfortunately that doesn't seem like an option out there.
At the risk of projecting my own early childhood issues to this discussion I would hope that you could go backward in time and flush out the causes until you start to get in touch with some feelings and this starts making some sense. My guess is that it was too dangerous to have confrontation hence the anxiety works as a powerful defence.
Inputs from the greater wisdom of the forum solicited? |
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Typical of my pain
